Someone Like You
by KekahJ
Summary: "I know this is wrong. I know we shouldn't be here. But do you know how long I've been waiting? Do you know how long I've been looking for someone like you?"
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Prologue

"Please." His voice was rough with emotion, and she felt like his eyes were boring into her soul. He reached up and caught her little finger with one of his own. She was unable to stifle the gasp that escaped her lips at his touch. It was the most physical contact she had ever had with him. For weeks, she had imagined what it would feel like, his skin on hers. The reality was so much more powerful than anything she had anticipated. She took a deep, ragged breath, trying to slow her suddenly racing heart. She closed her eyes in an attempt to block out his intense stare and gather her jumbled thoughts.

"I-" she began, but he cut her off, placing one long finger to her lips. His skin was hot against hers, and she gasped again at the contact as her eyes flew open. He felt her sharp intake of breath around his finger, and his own eyelids fluttered closed at the sensation. After a moment, he opened his eyes and gazed steadily into hers. He would listen to what she had to say even if it was something he didn't want to hear. Realizing his finger was still pressed against her lips, he started slightly and pulled it away, shoving his hand into his pocket to keep from touching her again.

On the other side of the door, she heard the muffled voices of people rushing past, oblivious to what was going on in the tiny room. Her heart thumped even faster as she realized that, at any moment, someone could burst through that door. She wondered what it would look like to anyone who caught the two of them in there together. How would they explain themselves?

He watched as her eyes darted to the door, and in an instant, he knew what she was thinking. He clenched his jaw at the thought of the danger this meeting was putting them both in. He knew the risks, and though he was willing to take them, he hated asking her to take them, too. This was wrong. He knew it, and he knew she knew it, but for the life of him, he couldn't bring himself to leave. Physically it would be a simple act to turn on his heel and leave her standing alone the small, dark room. Emotionally though, he knew it would have taken the strength of ten men to get him to budge.

She tried again, eyeing him warily as she spoke. "I don't know if I can do this." She decided it was better to be honest and direct with him, rather than lead him on unnecessarily.

Even in the room's dim light, she could see his eyes darkening at her words. "Do you think I can? Do you think this is easy for me?" He realized his tone was hard and worked to make his next words softer. "I know this is wrong. I know we shouldn't be here. But do you know how long I've been waiting? Do you know how long I've been looking for someone like you?"


	2. Chapter 1: Cigarettes & Strawberries

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 1: Cigarettes and Strawberries

He stopped on the deserted road under the lone streetlight, pulling his coat tighter around him as he fished a cigarette from his pocket. At last he found it, placed it between his lips, lit it with hands shaking slightly from the cold, and took the first slow pull.

He exhaled slowly, the smoke mingling with his warm breath as it hit the frigid air. His nerves calmer now, he allowed himself a moment to look out over the harbor which was blanketed by thick fog. He could see a single boat so far out on the harbor that only its topmost mast was visible, a red light blinking morosely in the velvety night.

He sighed and took one last drag from his cigarette before stomping it out under the toe of his heavy boot. He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his thick trench coat, turned away from the harbor, and began walking in the direction of his car. He knew there was no way to prolong the inevitable. Suddenly, he was anxious to get it over with, to be done with this task.

As he walked, he patted the front pocket of his pants. It felt heavier than it should, almost like it was unnaturally weighed down by its contents. There was no rational reason why the tiny contents of his pocket should feel as though they weighed a hundred pounds. He sighed again and resisted the urge to handle the package again, afraid that if he saw the small box again, he may not be able to keep himself from throwing it into the dark water of the harbor in an effort to get it away from himself.

He reached his car quickly and was in a hurry to get the ignition and the heater started. It seemed to take forever for the vents to go from blowing more frigid air into the confines of the car to swirling blissfully warm air into the small space. Once the air was warm, he rubbed his hands eagerly in front of the vents, desperate to get them warm enough to properly grasp the steering wheel and manipulate the gear shift.

When the car's interior was finally warm, he laid his head back against the plush leather of the seat's headrest. He closed his eyes and tried for the hundredth time to steel his resolve. He had to do this. He knew he had to do it, and he tried to push down the feeling of dread that seemed to be growing larger by the minute. The fact that he was feeling anxious about it at all only seemed to make his anxiety increase. He shouldn't be feeling apprehensive about this. This, of all things, should be something he anticipated, something that made him feel giddy and happy. He shouldn't feel absolute and unshakable dread like what he felt now, sitting in the dark interior of the car.

He shook his head once to clear his thoughts, and, finally trusting his hands enough to safely control the steering wheel, shifted the car into gear, checked his mirrors, and pulled onto the deserted street.

The drive to his destination took a shorter time than he would have thought possible. Before he realized it, he was easing the car up the familiar embankment and into the driveway. He switched the car's engine off, along with the headlights, and sought comfort from the darkness that suddenly embraced him. The street was quiet and dark, and for a moment, he wondered how long he could get away with sitting out there in the soothing darkness of his car.

His musings were interrupted, however, by a long sliver of light cast across the driveway. He looked up and saw the familiar head poking through the front door, her wavy strawberry blonde curls spilling through the crack. So that was that. He would be afforded no more time to stall. He waved to acknowledge the interruption and began to gather himself in preparation of leaving the warm comfort of the car.

In the darkness, he could not decipher the expression on her face. But the impatient stance she took told him all he needed to know. Whatever the expression she wore now it would soon be one of irritation were he to stall any longer.

Knowing he was defeated, he sighed, gathered his coat around him and stepped out of the car. He trudged up the driveway and the steps until he reached the door, refusing to meet her eyes until absolutely necessary. When he finally did look up, she smiled at him, reached towards him, and gathered him to her. Woodenly, he returned her embrace, not bothering to protest when she sought his lips with her own. She tasted like strawberry lip gloss, and for some reason the familiar taste made him slightly nauseous. After only a moment, she pulled away from him, her face twisted in a look of disgust. Inwardly he cringed, knowing already what her complaint would be. He had forgotten about the cigarette he had snuck before getting into the car.

"Have you been smoking again?" she asked, scowling and taking a step back from him. "You smell like an ashtray."

"Sorry," he mumbled, dropping his eyes to the ground to keep her from seeing the flash of irritation.

She huffed, placing her hands on her hips. "Edward, you know I hate it when you smoke. It's disgusting!"

"I know, Tanya, I know."

There was nothing else for him to say. They had had this argument countless times, and the outcome was always the same. She would get angry and give him an ultimatum, he would agree only to appease her, and continue smoking when he was away from her. Usually, he did an excellent job of hiding the evidence. It was only the tiny package weighing down his pocket that had driven him to the point of distraction, causing him to forget his usual breath mint.

The reminder of the package caused him to sigh again, and he found himself unable to focus on her voice as she began chattering about her day, their argument already forgotten. That was the nice thing about Tanya: she might nag him until he wanted to slam his fist into the wall, but she was quick to forgive him of the many flaws she reminded him of almost daily.

If he was honest with himself, that characteristic was what had drawn him to her more than any other. It was probably the reason why the small box sat like a leaden lump in his pocket at that very moment. It was the reason he came back time and time again. She tried to change him, but deep down, he knew that she knew he never would change, really.

They moved into the front room of the small house. She continued to chatter at him, he continued to not listen as he removed his coat and slung it across the back of the couch. He had learned long ago that Tanya really didn't need him to pay strict attention when she spoke. He could, for the most part, get away with a few grunts and general monosyllabic words, and she would be satisfied.

For the first time, he noticed the smell that was emanating from the kitchen in the back of the house. She had cooked for him. That was new. Was it possible that she knew about the lump in his pocket? He realized it was entirely possible that she did, with all of the unsubtle hints she had given him over the past few months. But could she know that the lump in his pocket was only there because he felt like he'd been backed into a corner by her? If she did know, would she care? These were questions that he couldn't answer.

He barely paid attention during dinner, chewing his food mechanically as she prattled on unceasingly. If asked later, he was sure he would be unable to recall or identify any of the food he ate. When his plate was empty, Tanya pushed away from the table and stood, reaching for his plate.

"Tanya," he said, not looking at her as he grabbed her wrist to halt her progress.

"Wha—" she began but he cut her off.

"Will you marry me?" he asked, hastily pulling the small black velvet box from his pocket and thrusting it towards her. He knew that this was the less than ideal way to propose, but it seemed to be the best he could manage given the situation. Tanya didn't seem to notice his lack of finesse. She gasped and greedily grabbed at the box, opening it and shoving the ring onto the appropriate finger.

"Oh, Edward!" She grabbed him around his neck, and he placed a hand on her back, not really fully returning her embrace. As she embraced, him she jumped up and down excitedly, a little squeal escaping her lips with each frantic hop. She pulled away, and he finally met her gaze, figuring he owed her at least that much. His smile was warm, but he couldn't stop it from sliding off his lips as he saw her eyes. They were frenzied and frantic.

Without another word, Tanya scurried to the phone and began to dial. He tuned out her conversation, but gathered from the words he did catch that she called first her mother, then her sister, and then she began calling every female friend she had. She repeated the same words to each recipient, and with each repetition, the words seemed to burn deeper into Edward's brain.

"I'm engaged!"

It didn't escape his notice that she had not technically answered his question. However, it didn't seem to matter to her as she laughed and bubbled and gushed over the phone, hardly bothering to even look in his direction as she tittered and repeatedly looked at her hand, now adorned with the ring from the black box.

Suddenly, he felt as if he couldn't breathe. Tugging at the collar of his shirt, he stood, gasping for air as he stumbled out the back door. On the back porch he stood, looking up at the starless cloudy sky.

It also didn't escape his attention that Tanya had not come to check on him after his abrupt departure from the room. He wondered if she had even noticed his absence yet, caught up as she was in her self congratulatory phone calls. He also wondered, on a seemingly endless loop, what he had done.


	3. Chapter 2: Brick Walls & Desert Nights

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 2: Brick Walls and Desert Nights

She sighed deeply, leaning her head against the wall. The action brought no relief, as the wall was constructed of roughly hewn brick which poked painfully into the back of her head, her hair providing little protection from its angry stab. She didn't care though. She barely noticed the pain, so jumbled and tumultuous were her thoughts.

The heat was oppressive, and she could feel it now all around her. It radiated off of the bricks of the building that had baked all day long in the blistering sun and still retained the heat even in the velvet darkness that surrounded her now. She felt it from the cars that sped by, their movement gusting blasts of hot, stagnant air up toward her, causing her hair to blow back and making her feel like she would suffocate if she didn't get any fresh air.

She knew from experience, however, that she wouldn't. She could almost say, with some chagrin, she was used to the heat now. She'd been living in Phoenix for the past five years, and she figured that was as much time as one would need to get as used to the stifling, oppressive, seemingly never ending heat as one could.

As she sat with her head pressed against the side of the building, her thoughts turned automatically to her home town and the stark contrast between the tiny, green, town of Forks, Washington and the large, sprawling, urban desert of Phoenix, Arizona. She missed the green. She missed the small-town atmosphere and the friendly smiles of the people there. Here in Phoenix, people were busy and usually irritated by the heat. She thought about how long it had been since she had been home. She thought of her parents and felt a twinge of pain as she realized how long it had been since they had spoken.

Sighing again, she pushed the thoughts back down to the place in her mind where they usually dwelt. They never completely left her, but most of the time she kept them buried deep enough that they didn't surface very often. She reached down and slid a lone cigarette out of its hiding place in the back pocket of her jeans. Holding it between her lips, and immediately feeling better, she fished her lighter out of its hiding place, down the front of her bra. She flicked the tab and watched the lighter flare to life, closing her eyes as she felt the nicotine move through her body, calming her nerves and her twitching hands.

Smoking in Phoenix didn't have nearly the same appeal as smoking in Forks had. In Forks, it seemed like the tiny flame had done wonders to help her fight against the ever present chill and gloom. Here in Phoenix, its tiny flame seemed to magnify the unending heat that surrounded her. Still, it brought her comfort, and she was unwilling to give it up.

Knowing she didn't have much time, she sucked greedily at the cigarette, pulling as much of the nicotine as she could into her system. She wouldn't have another chance for a few hours, especially since she was currently smoking the last of her emergency stash, and would have to refill her hiding place before she could smoke again.

She was unsurprised when the dark street suddenly glowed with the light from inside around the corner. She'd known he'd come looking for her sooner or later.

"Bella?" His voice sliced through the quiet of the night, rising above the whir of passing cars.

She pressed her palms against the wall's rough surface and pushed off, standing up straight and covertly grinding the cigarette out with her heel. She paused for another moment to ensure that her voice would sound light and airy when she responded.

Satisfied that her expression was sufficiently cheerful, she finally responded, "I'm over here, James," she called, rounding the corner and planting a smile on her face at the last possible moment.

His expression changed from worried to relieved when she came into sight.

"What are you doing?" he asked as she approached.

She shook her head, shrugging. "Just taking a break."

As she approached, he reached out and pulled her closer to him. "Well, I missed you." She laughed as he wrapped his arms around her, and she turned her head to the side to hide her cigarette breath from his notice. Luckily for her, he was too distracted to detect anything amiss, and simply slung his arm over her shoulder, guiding her back inside the building.

The room was cool because of the air conditioning, and she felt a trickle of sweat drip down her neck at the sudden change in temperature. She noted with only mild interest that the cool fresh air she had longed for just a moment ago did little to relieve the feeling of suffocation. She kept the false smile plastered on his lips as she allowed him to steer her back to their table. All eyes looked up at their approach, and she blushed at the sudden unwanted attention. Several voices exclaimed at once.

"You found her!"

"Where was she hiding?"

"Were you trying to get away from us, Bella?"

Instead of answering, she ducked her head and took her place at the table once again.

"Nah, she just needed some fresh air," James said, sitting down next to her, still keeping his arm around her. She knew he meant it to be a comforting and protective gesture, but she couldn't help feeling trapped by his heavy arm. She continued to say nothing, and soon the conversation swelled effortlessly around her, the others oblivious of her discomfort and her desire to escape once again.

She sat in silence, trying to identify what was making her so uncomfortable, and why it was taking everything in her power to keep from throwing his arm off and bounding out the door without a backward glance. She liked the people she was with. Finally lifting her head, she gazed around the table. There was her sister Rose and her husband Emmett. She didn't let her eyes settle on them too long, for fear of them returning her gaze with anxious ones of their own. She moved on to the table's other occupants. James' friends Laurent and Victoria were even okay. She didn't know them well, but they had been kind to Bella whenever they had met.

She was unsettled by the anxious feeling that pervaded her consciousness, mostly because she was unable to put her finger on its cause. She continued to sit there, growing more anxious and restless by the minute, James' arm feeling like a thousand pound weight pressing down on her oppressively.

When she decided she could take no more, she opened her mouth and made to stand. In the same instant, James released her shoulder, standing himself and, turning to the group, stated, "Well, we better get going. I've got to get up early tomorrow." Although it was what she herself had wanted only moments ago, she felt irritation flare at his blanket assumption of her wants.

After a moment, she internally chastised herself for her stubbornness and reminded herself that she really didn't want to stay and that she should be thanking him for providing her with the excuse she needed to leave. As she said her goodbyes and the pair departed, James throwing his arm over her shoulder again, she couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't actually leaving behind the thing that was making her so anxious.

The car ride home was quiet, as James preferred not to play music while he drove, and Bella was at a loss for conversational topics. Instead, she stared out the window at the city and lights as they flashed past.

Once they entered their neighborhood, James stopped at the large beehive of mailboxes, grabbing the key from the center console. He hopped out, retrieved the mail from their box, and was back in the car depositing the pile of mail onto Bella's lap before she knew it. She held the stack and watched disinterestedly as the garage door rose haltingly when James pushed the button.

She observed James carefully as he moved through the house, praying that his excuse for leaving the restaurant early was true, and that he really was going to bed early. It was the only hope she had of sneaking outside for one last, desperately needed cigarette.

He reached out and took the mail from Bella's hands and began rifling through it on the counter. Discarding the majority of it, he selected one large envelope and slid his finger under the flap to tear it open in one quick movement. Bella could only partially concentrate on his movements, so desperate was she for him to depart so she could smoke in private.

"Oh, look," he said, smiling and holding out the envelope's contents to her. She reached for it, making an effort to keep her fingers from twitching. Her curiosity was piqued by the thick rich paper, and she opened it to reveal scrawling script embossed on heavy paper. She realized immediately that it was a wedding invitation. As she scanned the words typed in fancy print, understanding dawned.

"It's your sister Tanya," she said, as if James were unaware of who the invitation was from. "There's no picture, though."

James shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, I knew that was going to be coming soon. I guess we should book our plane tickets."

Bella nodded, still gazing at the invitation. "Chicago, huh? I've never been there."

Bella had met James' sister Tanya only once, and it had been years ago. She tried to recall whether or not Tanya had been dating anyone at the time. Her mind drew a blank.

James finished rifling through the rest of the mail, separating the bills and throwing the junk into the recycling bin. He stretched and then turned around, inspecting the kitchen. Tearing her eyes away from the invitation, and realizing that she was possibly about to get her wish to be alone, Bella watched him. As he turned, he caught Bella looking at him and smiled at her. "I'm going to turn in, babe. You coming?"

She smiled back, but he couldn't know that it wasn't because of him or his suggestion, but the opportunity his absence would provide. "Not just yet. I'm going to straighten up a little," she lied.

For the briefest moment, his eyes were sad and he looked like he was going to argue with her, but then, just as quickly, the look was gone and he shrugged his shoulders and walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. She felt a twinge of guilt for not joining him, but her nicotine craving was stronger, so she stood, breathless, waiting to hear the sounds that would confirm that he had settled down for the night. It seemed like it took forever, and her fingers twitched, still clutching the invitation, as she waited. Finally, when she heard him softly snoring from behind the closed door of the bedroom, she tiptoed over to the patio door and slid it open noiselessly. Once outside, she crept over to the planter in the corner which had once held flowers, now long since dead from the unforgiving summer heat. She lifted up one corner and slid her secret pack of cigarettes out from under it.

For the second time that evening, she felt relief and nicotine flood through her simultaneously. It was uncommon that she had to smoke two cigarettes in one evening, but she had been so inexplicably keyed-up at the restaurant this evening. She sank down in a patio chair and listened to the sounds of the night. She could hear the cicadas buzzing monotonously in the nearby trees. A soft, hot breeze blew her hair around her face and carried the smoke away from her. She realized as she sat there that she had carried Tanya's wedding invitation outside with her. The patio was dark. She had not turned on any lights for fear of somehow disturbing James and getting caught, but the glow from a nearby streetlamp was bright enough that she could see the invitation if she tilted it just so. She studied the words again, thinking about her impending trip to Chicago with James.

She leaned back in the patio chair, suddenly feeling sleepy, but she knew it was too hot to sleep. She continued to hold onto the belief that it was too hot to sleep outside on the patio, even as her eyelids drifted closed and her breathing became heavy. Her cigarette, dangling precariously from her fingertips, dropped onto the cement patio and burned out harmlessly. When she awoke with a start, she wasn't sure how much time had passed. Feeling confused and disoriented, she stumbled into the house, stripped down to her underwear, and climbed into bed beside a still snoring James.


	4. Chapter 3: Airplanes & Hospitals

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 3-Airplanes and Hospitals

"Edward, are you even listening?" Tanya's irritated voice finally permeated his consciousness, and he shook his head to clear his thoughts. She took the action as an answer to her question, and her expression darkened as she pursed her lips, letting the flowers she was holding fall to the floor. She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off by standing up abruptly and closing the space between them.

"I'm sorry, honey. I don't really care what kind of cake we have for the wedding. It's up to you. I want you to be happy." With that, he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. "I'm going to go. I've got to be at the hospital in an hour anyway." He didn't give her a chance to respond, instead turning on his heal and walking out of the bakery. She stood with her mouth hanging slightly agape for a moment before quickly snapping it shut and turning her attention back to the baker.

Outside, Edward stopped to lean against the wall, closing his eyes. He felt a twinge of guilt for the way he had left Tanya, but he just couldn't stay any longer. For the past four months, it had been nonstop wedding plans. She wanted his input on even the minutest of details, and he couldn't have cared less about any of it. The apathy he felt that fateful night he had proposed to her had only increased in the intervening months. Plus, he really did have to be at the hospital soon.

He walked slowly down the street towards the train, lighting a cigarette as he walked and letting the nicotine calm his nerves and wash his guilt over Tanya away. Somehow, he sensed that Tanya secretly knew his feelings. They had never spoken about it, but he sometimes caught a look on her face that spoke plainly about what she knew of his reticence. That wasn't the part that disturbed him the most though. It was the other look that often accompanied the first. It was a determined look that told him she didn't care about his hesitance. She would marry him anyway, regardless of his feelings. It was this second part that made him feel much less guilty about his attitude toward their impending wedding.

He boarded the train and made the short trip to the hospital. Once there, he made his way to the locker room, changing out of his street clothes and into a pair of navy blue scrubs and comfortable tennis shoes. He threw his white lab coat on over his scrubs, grabbed his stethoscope, and made his way into the emergency room.

It was a busy afternoon, and his shift passed quickly. He set three broken limbs, one toe, and stitched up two people, one who had split his head open and one who had nearly sliced her finger off with a kitchen knife. That was the nice thing about working in the emergency room: it was never dull or boring. He met new and interesting people every day.

He was just finishing up his notes on the patient with the nearly severed finger when he heard a commotion coming from the waiting room. Curious, and also concerned for the receptionist on staff at the help desk, he put his clipboard down and moved toward the entrance of the busy waiting room. He raised his eyebrows at the sight of the couple making their way into the waiting room.

"Help us, please," a man called as he moved through the automatic sliding doors, struggling under the weight of his burden. The man had long, almost stringy blonde hair which had come un-tucked from behind his ear and hung in his eyes. Limping helplessly by his side, Edward noticed a small woman with long chestnut brown hair. Her head was bowed, which prevented him from getting a view of her face. He looked down at the foot she was obviously favoring. From the way she carried it, he surmised that she had probably injured her ankle.

The man seemed to be struggling with the addition of her weight, so Edward approached the pair and, without hesitating, scooped the girl up around her waist, relieving the man of her weight. She gasped quietly in shock and looked up at him.

As their gaze met, Edward found himself breathless as well. Her face was devastatingly beautiful. She had large, brown eyes, bright and shining from her tears, and her pale cheeks glistened wetly from the stray tears that had escaped her eyes and slid down her face. His heart clenched at the sight of her tears, and he had a suddenly overwhelming desire to protect her, and an abrupt irrational surge of anger at the man by her side for allowing her to be injured.

"Thanks, Doctor." The man's voice reminded him of why the girl was in his arms in the first place. Internally shaking himself, he regained his wits and began leading them to an exam room. He ignored the angry glares from the patients still sitting unattended in the waiting room. He couldn't allow this girl to be in pain any longer.

When they reached one of the unoccupied exam rooms, he helped the girl up onto the exam table, flinching himself as she hissed in pain. The man hovered uselessly behind them, clearly unsure of what to do to help. Once she was perched on the sterile exam table, the crisp white paper crinkling slightly beneath her as she adjusted herself in an effort to get more comfortable, the man moved back to her side.

On her other side, Edward backed away from her and felt his head begin to clear a bit with the distance. He cleared his throat, glancing quickly around the small room. He realized in his haste to alleviate the girl's pain, he had completely forgone hospital procedure.

"Um, I just need to get some paperwork for you. I'll be right back," he muttered, backing up and feeling flustered by his lack of professionalism. The blonde man eyed him speculatively as he departed. He moved with a determination and quickness he couldn't quite explain, even to himself. He ignored the questioning look of the receptionist as he grabbed a clipboard with a patient information form from the check-in desk. He figured he would come back and input her information into the database later himself and hoped his supervisors would not notice the lapse in protocol.

He stepped back into the exam room where he had left the blonde man and the injured girl. For the briefest moment, their eyes met again, and just like the first time, he felt his heart skip a beat and his breath leave his chest in a whoosh. Something in the girl's expression made Edward think that she had felt something too, but she broke their gaze quickly and looked down at her hands. The blonde man seemed to notice the look that passed between the two of them also, and he snaked his hand protectively around the girl's waist, seemingly oblivious to the pain that the movement caused her as she had to put her injured foot down on the step to keep from falling over. She hissed and pushed back against his shoulder. Edward narrowed his eyes at the blonde man and fought the urge to throw him away from her.

Instead, he cleared his throat and stepped closer to the girl. "So, what happened?" he asked, removing a pen from his lab coat pocket and putting it to the clipboard in his hands. He heard her sigh and looked up at her again in spite of himself. She was blushing, and it made her impossibly more appealing.

After a moment, she finally spoke. "We were on the moving sidewalk at the airport. I wasn't paying attention, and, it ended." She trailed off, looking at her hands, her face growing even more pink.

"She's always been pretty clumsy," the blonde man added, smirking and shaking his head. Irritation flashed again in Edward's eyes, and he worked to hide it, but not before the blonde man noticed it, his smile quickly fading.

"Well, I'll need to look at it. It's probably just sprained, but I'll know more after examining it," Edward said. "While I'm examining your leg maybe your—" He paused, his eyes darting to the blonde man for a moment. "—husband can fill out the necessary paperwork." He held his breath, irrationally hoping that the blonde man who seemed so indifferent about her pain was not her husband. He watched as the blush that had so appealingly colored her face only moments before faded and was replaced by a pallor that made him more concerned for her wellbeing than before.

"He's not my husband," she corrected quietly. Edward tried to reign in the relief that flooded inexplicably through him. He glanced at the blonde man and allowed a small smile to escape his lips as he saw that the blonde man seemed disappointed and dejected at her words.

"Oh. Sorry," Edward apologized insincerely. "I'm going to need you to elevate your leg so that I can examine it, can you slide back a little?"

She nodded, bracing herself with her arms as she slid further to the back of the table. As she moved, she winced slightly, taking her bottom lip between her teeth. Edward found himself so completely sidetracked by the expression on her petite face, her teeth biting into her soft, plump lip, eyes closed, his hands actually paused their movements and his mouth hung slightly ajar.

He was snapped out of his reverie when the blonde man cleared his throat loudly behind him. Embarrassed by his less than professional behavior toward this girl, and determined to regain his composure, he moved down to the girl's ankle. With only slightly fumbling hands, he managed to remove the girl's sandal from her tiny foot and push her pant leg up to allow himself access to her ankle. The skin around her ankle was already bruised purple and swollen, but he couldn't help noticing that the rest of her skin was creamy and smooth. Edward instantly wished he wasn't wearing latex gloves. He found himself thinking about what it would feel like to touch her skin. Once again embarrassed by his irrational thoughts, he shook his head and focused again on her ankle.

He frowned as he looked at it. "Your ankle is already very swollen. How long ago did this happen, Miss—"

"Swan, Bella Swan. Well, our flight got in at, what, James, noon? So that's," she paused to twist her wrist around and glance at her watch. "Four hours ago."

Edward continued to scowl at her ankle. "Why did it take you four hours to make it to the hospital?" he asked, lifting his eyes accusingly to James. Edward was rewarded by the guilty look that crossed James' face as he dropped his eyes to the clipboard. He said nothing.

After a slightly awkward pause, Bella came to his rescue. "We're visiting from out of town, and we wanted to do some sight-seeing. We didn't think my ankle was that bad, so we decided to wait. But then it just got worse the more we tried to walk around."

Edward looked up, his jaw muscles flexing slightly. He knew she was lying, or at least, stretching the truth to protect James, but, as he didn't know either of them, and it really was none of his business, he let it go.

"What are you doing in Chicago?" he asked, changing the subject as his fingers gently probed her swollen ankle, trying to ascertain the extent of the damage.

"My sister's getting married next week. We came early so we could do some sight seeing. I'm from here, but Bella's never been," James explained, apparently grateful that the negative attention was off him for the moment. Edward smiled and nodded, even as something unidentifiable tugged at his memory at James' words. He pushed the odd feeling aside as he focused on Bella's ankle.

"Well, it's not broken, just badly sprained. I'm going to put a soft brace on it. You'll be able to take it off to shower and when you sleep, but other than that you'll need to wear it for about a week or so," he said, his tone suddenly clinical, as he turned, removed his gloves, and washed his hands in the room's small sink.

Bella groaned and laid back against the padded table, causing the paper to crinkle loudly. She covered her face with her hand. "Great," she muttered.

Edward smiled sympathetically at her as he began scribbling out his notes on her chart. "I'll give you a prescription for the pain, but I want you to elevate it and alternate ice and heat as much as possible to bring that swelling down. That means you're going to need to stay off your feet." He eyed James warily, trying to send him a subtle, nonverbal warning.

With a flourish of his signature, he finished writing her prescription and tore it off his pad, making eye contact once again with her. Just as it had every other time she'd met his gaze, he felt his stomach clench and his heart rate increase. He smiled at her, suddenly sad that he would never see her again, and that he was releasing her into the care of her boyfriend who, in Edward's opinion, did not care for her as he should. He felt himself bristle again at the memory of how James had so callously embarrassed her when he called her clumsy. Edward was convinced, based on the tears that had glistened in her eyes when they arrived, that it had been James' idea to procrastinate the visit to the emergency room, and doing so had made Bella's ankle worse than it should have been. It would prolong her recovery time.

He had to work to tear his eyes away from her face, telling himself that he was being irrational and absurd. He did not know this girl who sat before him. He had no business feeling indignant toward her boyfriend.

"Thanks so much, Doctor," James said, sticking his hand out to shake Edward's as Bella struggled by herself to get down from the table. Clenching his jaw again, he ignored James' outstretched hand and stepped around him to assist Bella. Even though he had done so when he had helped her into the room and up on the table, he felt awkward grabbing her around her waist now, and when he did, he felt that strange pull in the pit of his stomach again. She gazed up at him gratefully before turning her attention to her injured foot, now clad in the soft brace that would hopefully protect it and keep her from doing further harm to herself. She winced once as she brought her weight down on it, and Edward instinctively increased his hold around her waist.

Apparently realizing that he should be the one assisting Bella off the table, James moved to her other side and put his arm behind her back. Edward eyed him momentarily before releasing her to his care and stepping away.

"Okay, well that should do it. Be sure to keep that foot elevated as much as possible," Edward said, suddenly feeling like he was intruding.

Bella turned and looked up at him, a smile on her face, even though it seemed more like a grimace as she attempted to put more weight on her foot. "Thanks so much, Dr.—"

"Cullen, Edward Cullen," Edward supplied, still eyeing her foot to see how it was holding up with the new brace in place.

He glanced up again in an attempt to decipher how much pain she was in, but his attention was caught by the odd expression on James' face. He looked at him for a moment, but James apparently recovered himself and said nothing, so he let it pass.

"Well, thanks so much, Dr. Cullen," Bella smiled up at him. For his part, Edward only nodded and watched them walk out of the emergency room, feeling a mixture of both sadness and relief that he would never see Bella Swan again.


	5. Chapter 4: Room Service & Reunions

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 4: Room Service and Reunions

The bright, intruding light of dawn pushed its way through the cracks and crevices of the hotel's heavy curtains. As the sun rose higher and became more powerful, one slender chink of light began to hit Bella directly in her left eye. Still mostly asleep, she squinted and rolled over, groaning. Disturbed by her movement, James lurched toward her, draping his arm over her back. His leg inadvertently twitched and kicked Bella's ankle. She hissed, pulling her tender ankle back and sitting straight up. James murmured at the commotion as he rolled over, but remained asleep.

Pulling the covers back, she examined her ankle. The swelling had gone down slightly, but it had been replaced by deep purple bruises that were just starting to turn greenish around the edges. Her eyes fell on the soft brace that sat on the chair in the corner of the room. She had done just as the doctor at the emergency room had prescribed, wearing the brace all day, only taking it off at night. The second part of the doctor's orders, however, had not been as easy for her to follow. James had been so excited to show her all of the parts of his hometown that he loved that she had a hard time telling him no, even when her ankle screamed in protest after so many long hours without rest.

Consequently, her ankle wasn't healing as fast as she knew it should be. If there was one thing Bella was familiar with, it was bumps and bruises. As an accident prone child and teenager, she'd had her fair share of scrapes and sprains. Plus, with her pale skin, she bruised fairly easily.

Fully awake now, her ankle throbbing, she knew there was no way she'd be able to get back to sleep. She sighed, resigned to being up at such an early hour, and lifted herself up off the bed. She half hopped, half limped over to the chair where she grabbed the brace and sat down to slide it on her ankle.

With the brace in position, she walked over to the hotel's small kitchenette. She found the bottle of painkillers, shook two into her hand, filled a glass of water from the small sink, and downed the pills quickly.

Afterward, she stood looking around the hotel room, still ensconced in shadow. James' sleeping form was huddled under the covers of the massive hotel bed. She could hear his light snoring, and she immediately felt jealous of his ability to sleep well no matter where he was. Bella felt like she hadn't had a good night's sleep since their arrival in Chicago.

She made her way to the bathroom, being careful to close the door behind her before switching on the light so as not to disturb James. She spun around and braced her hands against the counter, staring at her reflection in the mirror. The fluorescent light was not kind to her. It made her look haggard and tired. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her pale skin looked sallow. She knew her skin could look pretty, in the right light, and when she was getting enough sleep, but right now it looked sickly. She scrubbed a hand over her face and sighed before turning to start the shower.

The shower made her feel a little better. Her ankle still throbbed, but the pain medicine and the warm water took the edge off and made it bearable. She stepped out of the bathroom with one towel wrapped around her wet hair and another tucked under her arms.

"Hi," James yawned from the bed. He had propped himself up on several pillows and had flipped the television on.

"Hello," Bella said, smiling quietly at James as she began to gather her things and dress for the day. "How did you sleep?"

"Okay. Are you ready for more sightseeing?"

Bella closed her eyes, glad that the grimace on her face was shielded from him as she bent over her suitcase, gathering her toiletries and clothing. She took a deep breath before speaking. "James, my ankle needs a rest today." She hated disappointing him. He'd been so excited all week long, showing her all his old haunts and the places he'd grown up around, but she knew if she didn't take it easy on her ankle, she was going to regret it. Plus, they were meeting Tanya and her fiancé for dinner that night, and Bella knew she wouldn't be in any shape for that if she worked her ankle too much during the day.

Behind her, James sighed. "Fine."

"Thanks for understanding, honey," Bella said, retrieving her clothes and straightening back up. "Maybe we could just—"

"I'll just go without you."

Bella blinked for a moment, slightly stunned, before recovering herself and turning to face him, a smile in place on her lips. "Okay. If that's what you want to do. I'll just stay here and read and maybe watch a movie." She left out how much she had been hoping to have his company that day; how she had wanted it to just be the two of them spending time in their hotel room together. Ever since their arrival in Chicago, they had been on the go. Was it really so bad that she just wanted to spend a relaxing day together in their room?

"Thanks babe. You'll be fine." James grinned as he made his way to the shower, kissing her quickly on the cheek as he passed her. The movement caused her to rock back slightly, unconsciously putting her weight on her injured foot. She hissed in protest, but James didn't seem to notice as he shut the door to the bathroom. A moment later, she heard the shower running. Showered and shaved, James departed a short time later, placing another quick kiss on Bella's forehead on his way out.

"Be sure to order room service if you get hungry," he called over his shoulder.

Bella didn't answer, but it didn't seem to matter to him. He was already out the door. She listened for the click of the lock, and then heard his retreating footsteps.

When she was sure he wasn't going to come back to retrieve anything he'd forgotten, she limped over to her suitcase. She dug into the pouch where she kept her underwear, fishing around until he fingers found purchase on what they sought: her cigarettes. She spent a good portion of the day out on the hotel's balcony smoking and reading the magazines she had bought in the airport in Phoenix. Their hotel had a great view of the city, and she enjoyed watching the people and traffic below. She ordered a double cheeseburger and fries from room service when she got hungry, and ate it leisurely on the balcony, enjoying the greasy indulgence.

By late afternoon, her ankle felt better than it had all week, and she hadn't even taken any more pain medicine. Yawning and stretching, she realized she would need to shower again and begin to get ready for dinner. She was just folding up her magazines and placing them back in the side pocket of her suitcase when she heard a phone ring. Momentarily confused, she glanced around the room before realizing that it was James' cell phone. She instantly felt better about the fact that he had not checked in on her all day, but at the same time realized that she had no way to get in touch with him had she needed to. After rooting around the covers of the bed, she found the phone and answered it.

"Who's this? Oh, this must be Becca," an unfamiliar woman's voice said.

"Um. Bella. Who's this?" Bella asked, furrowing her brow slightly. It wasn't in her nature to be suspicious, but she couldn't help wonder who this woman was.

"Oh sorry, Bella. It's Tanya."

Bella's eyebrows lifted as understanding dawned. She berated herself for being concerned. "Oh hi, Tanya. How are you? James is out at the moment. He left his cell phone."

"Sounds like James," Tanya laughed. "Okay, well I was just calling to give him the directions to the restaurant. It's a new place, and I don't think he's been there before."

"Oh, okay. Um…" Bella looked around until her eyes fell upon the hotel stationary on the desk. "Go ahead."

She listened and wrote down Tanya's directions, thanked her, and hung up. Then she showered again, and stood before her suitcase for the second time that day, deciding what to wear. James had said that the restaurant they were going to was a fairly nice one, so she settled on one of the few dresses she had brought with her. It was a deep blue wrap dress, and she accessorized it with a silver chain and matching earrings. She pulled out one shoe of a pair of black flats, since her other foot would be safely encased in her brace. She glanced longingly down at the pair of shoes she wanted to wear: a pair of black peek-toe pumps, and sighed.

Removing the towel from her hair, she ran her fingers through it several times and allowed it to air dry, letting the soft curls form naturally as it did. She used her small supply of makeup to apply some blush to her cheeks in an effort to combat the pallor that had settled in her skin since her arrival in Chicago. She brushed mascara on her lashes and slicked a tinted gloss over her lips before standing back to examine her work. Satisfied, she turned and walked back out on the balcony to wait for James.

She wasn't sure how far away the restaurant was, but she was pretty sure that they would need to leave soon in order to make it to the restaurant on time. She sighed, slightly annoyed at having to wait for James. She wondered briefly if she dared sneak in one last cigarette before his return. As she was pondering how much time she might have, and how difficult it would be to discard the evidence if he were to return before she finished, she heard his electronic key slide into the lock on the other side of the door, effectively ending her plans.

"Hello," he called out as he slammed the door behind him. Bella rolled her eyes. The room was not large enough to necessitate shouting. He had a clear view of her from the door to the room. Instead of voicing her annoyance, she smiled and waved from her patio chair on the balcony.

"What are you doing? Are you ready? We need to leave," he said as he slid the patio screen open.

"I'm ready. How was your day? Did you have fun?" she asked calmly, ignoring the panicked tone he had addressed her in, and the way that he had failed to kiss her or even offer her any sort of greeting. She also pushed down her irritation at the fact that he hadn't noticed that she was clearly dressed and ready to go, while he was the one who still needed to shower and get ready.

"Yeah, I visited with some old friends. Some things haven't changed at all." He turned and stepped back into the room. "I'm going to shower, and then we'll go."

"You left your phone here. Tanya called to give directions to the restaurant. They're inside on the desk."

"Oh, yeah. Thanks, I was wondering where I left my phone," he said, patting his pockets as if the phone might appear in one of them even though she had just told him that he had left it in the room while he was out.

She said nothing, but remained out on the patio while he showered and dressed. She gazed out at the street and watched all the people heading to their various destinations below. Soon, James tapped on the glass door, drawing her back to the room, and indicating that he was ready to depart.

She followed him down through the lobby of the hotel and out to the street where he hailed them a cab. James gave the cabbie directions, and the ride to the restaurant turned out to be short. James helped her out of the backseat, and seemed to look at her for the first time as she was stepping onto the sidewalk.

"You look really nice, Bella."

"Thank you," she said softly.

Inside, James gave the maitre de their name, and they were led through the restaurant to their table. Bella was instantly glad she had worn a dress, even though she felt self conscious at being unable to hide her ankle brace beneath pant legs. The restaurant was elegant, and the other patrons were well dressed and polished. The waiter stopped and gestured to a table occupied by a couple, both with their backs to them.

James took Bella's hand and led her around to the other side of the table so they were facing the couple. Bella's eyes fell first on the woman. She recognized her immediately, though they had met only one time before. Her hair was the same blonde as James' except with a slight reddish tint to it. Her features resembled James', and it was obvious that the two were related.

The woman looked up at them for a moment before jumping up and squealing. "Oh! James, it's been so long!" She closed the distance between them and embraced her brother.

He chuckled and hugged her back. "Hey, sis. Good to see you."

The pair broke apart, and James turned his attention to Bella. "Tanya, you remember Bella, right?"

"Yes. So good to see you again, Bella. How are you?" Tanya embraced Bella and although she smiled, Bella could feel a reserved stiffness in her embrace. Before she had time to wonder about it any further, her attention was caught by the table's other occupant. He was staring at her with a most peculiar look on his face.

Bella felt her heart stutter, and at first, she thought it was because the man was incredibly handsome, with tousled bronze hair and piercing green eyes. His features were sharp and masculine, his jaw chiseled and his nose straight. He was beautiful, and Bella felt herself unable to look away from him. Then, with a start, she realized that Tanya wasn't the only familiar face at the table.

Tanya interrupted before Bella had time to process her thoughts any further. "James, Bella, this is my fiancé, Edward," Tanya said, turning and gesturing to the man who, though he was now standing, was still gazing steadily at Bella.

He smiled, and Bella felt her breath catch. Ignoring James completely, Edward said in a smooth voice, "Bella, so good to see you again. How is your ankle doing?"


	6. Chapter 5: Vices & Wine

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 5: Vices and Wine

"Tanya, have you seen my grey shirt?" Edward called from the closet. He ran his fingers hastily through the row of shirts hanging on his side of the closet, but the gray button down he was looking for continued to evade him.

Tanya's voice was muffled and distant. "I took it to the cleaner's last week, but I forgot to pick it up. Sorry."

Rolling his eyes, he sighed and forced his fingers to begin their trek across his shirts again, searching for an acceptable substitute. He settled for a pale green button down with long sleeves instead. It wasn't his favorite shirt, but it would coordinate nicely with the deep charcoal slacks he had already picked out. He let the towel he had been clutching around his waist fall to the floor, stepped over it, and proceeded to dress for dinner.

He found Tanya in the bathroom, applying her make-up under the bright lights of the vanity.

"What time are we supposed to meet them?" he asked, straightening his tie in the mirror.

"Seven," she said, blinking in the bright light of her vanity as she applied what, in Edward's opinion, was too much makeup.

Edward sighed. He was not looking forward to dinner. He had never met Tanya's brother. He knew the two weren't close, and he couldn't think of any reason why he would want to get to know him. Plus, he'd worked at the hospital all day and was tired. What he really wanted to do was to settle down on the couch with a beer and watch television. But, yet again, he found himself doing something to make Tanya happy.

"We need to leave soon if we're going to make it on time," he said. Edward hated being late. He went to great lengths to ensure that he was always on time, or better yet: early for engagements. It was one of the major points of contention between him and Tanya. She seemed to have no regard for time, and was constantly running late. Resigned to being late, he sat down on the couch and began perusing a magazine on the coffee table while he waited. He was actually surprised when Tanya emerged from the bathroom only a short while later, ready to go.

They rode in almost total silence to the restaurant, and Edward was surprised to discover that they were the first ones to arrive. The maitre de showed them to their table, and they browsed the wine list while they waited. Edward felt certain he was going to need wine to get through the evening.

A few minutes later, the maitre de returned, this time bringing with him another couple. Edward didn't look up as he heard Tanya squeal delightedly and rise from the table. He continued looking at the wine list, trying to decide which one he would choose, when he heard James' voice.

"Tanya, you remember Bella, right?"

For reasons he couldn't identify, Edward's attention was piqued. He wasn't sure if it was James' voice, or the words he spoke, but he found himself looking up. When he did he felt his breath catch.

His gaze first fell on Tanya's brother. He noticed the resemblance between him and Tanya immediately. They had similar hair and features, and at first, he thought that was the reason the man looked so familiar. But then his gaze fell on the small woman standing at his side. It was her, the woman from the hospital that he'd been thinking about for a week.

His heart began to pound, and he found himself unable to take his eyes off of her. He felt himself rise from the table, and somewhere in the distance he heard Tanya speak, but he wasn't able to focus on her words. His eyes were on the woman in front of him. She looked much better than she had the last time he had seen her. She met his gaze, and suddenly he knew that she remembered him too. A warm blush spread across her face and down her neck, just as it had that day in the hospital. He smiled at the sight of it.

Impulsively, he stuck his hand out. "Bella, so good to see you again. How is your ankle doing?"

There was a moment of stunned silence between the four of them. James was the first to recover. "You're the doctor from the emergency room! When Bella hurt her ankle!"

Everyone turned to look down at Bella's ankle, and Edward noticed her blush deepen at the sudden attention. She shuffled slightly as if she were attempting to hide her ankle. Edward's gaze lingered on her long legs, and without realizing it, his gaze traveled up the length of her body, which was wrapped attractively in a blue dress that made her pale skin creamy and impossibly more beautiful.

"What a small world!" Tanya exclaimed, effectively interrupting Edward's slightly inappropriate thoughts about Bella. Recovering himself, he looked around, hoping that no one else had caught him gawking at his fiancé's brother's girlfriend. He was relieved to see Tanya and James seemed to be in their own world, while Bella was still staring at the floor, the embarrassed blush finally beginning to fade from her cheeks and neck.

Introductions complete, the small group moved to be seated around the table. The table they had been given had a long bench on one side and two chairs on the opposite end. Tanya and Edward had chosen to sit on the chairs, but Edward realized now that it would be difficult for Bella to slide into the booth without putting strain on her ankle. He reached to move his things to the side with the bench, but as he did so, James plopped down and slid into his seat on the bench. Bella stood for a moment, her thoughts obviously similar to Edward's.

"Come on baby, sit down," James said, smiling and shaking his head conspiratorially at Edward as if to impart to him how silly she was.

Bella opened her mouth, but then closed it, and immediately Edward knew she wasn't saying anything because she didn't want to be a bother to anyone. James sat, looking up at her, his gaze turning impatient.

Edward glanced at Tanya who was looking at Bella with one eyebrow raised, the annoyed expression he knew so well on her face. He felt his anger surge. Was it a family trait that these two were so insensitive?

He clenched his jaw, trying to rein himself in before speaking. "James, I think it would be easier for Bella and her ankle if you two sat in the chairs and let Tanya and me take the bench."

James' expression was puzzled for a moment, and Edward clenched his fists at his side.

"What? But we're already sitting here," Tanya said, a slight whine creeping into her voice.

"Oh no, it's fine really. I'll be okay over here," Bella's voice was quiet and burned with embarrassment.

"No. You're not fine. You'll sit here, I insist. If James doesn't want to move then he can stay there and I'll sit here." Edward felt surprise at himself and his words, but he would follow through with the threat. Without another word, he picked up Tanya's glass and napkin and set them next to where James was staring at Edward, mouth hanging slightly open. When Edward chanced a glance up at Tanya, her expression mirrored James'.

"I—" Bella began but he cut her off.

"Sit."

She complied immediately, her long curtain of hair falling to hide her face as she sat in the chair Edward indicated.

Edward stood for a moment longer, glancing pointedly at James. As much as he would have enjoyed sitting next to Bella, he really didn't feel that would be the best course of action, so he gave James one last chance to move.

Finally realizing Edward's meaning, James scrambled up and rounded the table, taking his place in the chair beside Bella. Edward nodded, satisfied at last, and sat down in the spot on the bench James had just vacated.

"Sit, Tanya," he said, sighing as he realized Tanya was still standing, gawking in disbelief at him. She did, but he recognized the sulky set of her jaw immediately. He knew he was going to catch hell for his actions later, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to care. He glanced at the beautiful creature sitting across from him, and he felt his heart clench again. Was he the only person concerned for her well being? How was it that no one else cared enough to protect her? Why was it that he felt so fiercely protective of her? He knew it was odd and hugely inappropriate, but he couldn't stop himself.

The four of them sat in awkward silence for a while longer; apparently Tanya wasn't the only one in her family with a penchant for sulking. James stared at his menu as though it was the most interesting thing he'd ever read, and Tanya kept shooting daggers across the table at Bella.

Edward did feel sorry for that, however. He hadn't meant for his strange urge to protect Bella to expose her to Tanya's wrath. He knew from past experience that Tanya could be intimidating and down right vindictive when she felt slighted or threatened. He would have to work to reassure Tanya of his loyalty and affection. He reached out and rubbed her shoulder, squeezing it lightly and pulling her toward him. She succumbed and leaned back into his embrace, smiling up at him. He smiled back at her, resisting the urge to look at Bella out of the corner of his eye.

After a moment, Tanya reached for the wine menu again. "Let's order some wine. What does everyone want?" she asked, glancing at James and Bella, her earlier aggravation obviously forgotten. Edward smiled to himself. Tanya was always quick to recover and quick to forgive. It was her best quality.

As James and Tanya began discussing the wine selection, Edward chanced a glance at Bella. He was surprised to find her gazing at him. When they made eye contact her eyes widened for a brief moment, and he expected her to look down again as she had before, but she didn't. Instead she held his gaze, narrowing her eyes at him appraisingly, as though he was some sort of puzzle she was determined to figure out. He returned her gaze and he swore he could feel the air crackle between them. What was it about her? Why did he feel so drawn to her? The repercussions of this attraction could yield nothing but trouble for both of them.

Suddenly, he felt weighed down by guilt. He was sitting next to the woman he was engaged to be married to, and he couldn't take his eyes off of his soon to be brother-in-law's girlfriend. What was wrong with him? He was sick. He dropped his gaze to the table, taking a couple of slow breaths to try and refocus his thoughts. He could have sworn he heard her sigh softly, but he didn't dare look up at her again, for fear that if he did, he wouldn't be able to stay in his seat.

He knew he needed to be careful. For whatever reason, he was incredibly drawn to this strange girl. He felt the need to protect her, but it was more than just that. He wanted to know her better. She was off limits. For that matter, so was he. He made a silent vow to avoid her as much as possible until the wedding was over. Then, she and Tanya's brother would leave, and he would most likely never see her again. His heart hurt at the thought of it. What was wrong with him? He didn't even know her.

The meal was uneventful and quiet. The conversation was polite, but sparse. Although he had been hungry before, he felt uneasy and mostly just moved his food around his plate.

Toward the end of dinner, his silent brooding was interrupted by Bella's soft voice. "Please excuse me," she said, looking around the table before standing and walking toward the back of the restaurant.

"Where is she going?" Tanya asked, looking at James.

James shrugged. "I guess to the bathroom." He continued eating.

Edward watched Bella move through the crowd. "If she's going to the restroom, she's headed the wrong way," he murmured. "I'll go steer her in the right direction." He threw his napkin on his mostly untouched plate and slid out of his seat. Before either Tanya or James could comment, he was striding after her.

He continued moving in the direction he had seen her going, but he had lost sight of her. He moved further back toward the rear of the restaurant, but still couldn't see her. He could have sworn he saw her travel down the long hallway where he stood, but it was empty, with only the back door of the restaurant in front of him.

He approached the door and cautiously placed his hand against it, afraid he would trip an alarm. He pushed against the handle and held his breath, but the hallway remained silent. Feeling more confident now, he pushed the door further open and stepped out into the dark alleyway. He looked around for a moment, and it took his eyes a minute to adjust to the darkness. When they did, he saw her. She was leaning against the brick wall, her head back against the bricks.

"Bella?" he called softly, afraid to startle her.

It didn't work. She jumped anyway. "Oh! Edward. I didn't see you there," she said, and he noticed her hands moving out of sight. Was she hiding something?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. What are you doing out here?"

"Nothing," she said, but her eyes were downcast. He smiled as she reminded him of a child who had been caught doing something she wasn't supposed to. He tilted his head in an attempt to see her hidden hands. What was she holding? As he moved his head, she turned her body in the opposite direction to shield herself.

"What are you hiding?" he asked, laughing a little at her wide-eyed expression. Just then, the wind shifted slightly, and he caught a scent on the breeze. He smelled two things simultaneously. First, he inhaled a delicious vanilla scent that he knew immediately must be her. Second, he smelled cigarette smoke; fresh cigarette smoke. He furrowed his brow at the second odor.

"Bella are you…smoking?" he asked incredulously.

She immediately dropped her head and brought her hands out from behind her back. She clutched a lit cigarette between two tiny fingers. He couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of his throat at the sight of her standing before him looking guiltily at her shoes.

At the sound of his laughter, her head snapped up, and she looked at him, eyes blazing. "Are you laughing at me?"

He held his hands in front of him in mock surrender. "No, no. I'm sorry. I just didn't peg you for a smoker."

She rolled her eyes and placed the cigarette between her lips, closing her eyes as she inhaled. The sight made Edward's throat burn.

"Just don't tell James. He doesn't know," she said.

Edward laughed again, "Deal, as long as you share, and as long as you don't tell Tanya."

Her eyes snapped to his face again. "You smoke?"

It was his turn to drop his head guiltily as he nodded. After a moment, he looked up at her once more. She was staring at him with that same appraising look she had given him in the restaurant.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Do you have an extra cigarette, or not?"

At his reminder, she seemed to snap out of her reverie. "Oh, yeah, sure. Hold on."

Edward had to work to close his jaw at what he saw next. He watched as she fished a second cigarette from down the front of her dress in the space between her breasts.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly as she handed it to him.

Speechless, he took the cigarette from her. By the time he had found his voice again, she was fishing a lighter out of the same hiding spot, causing him to become temporarily mute once more.

He took the lighter from her, placed the cigarette between his lips, lit it, and handed the lighter back to her. She replaced it, and they stood there silently for a moment.

"Thanks," was all he finally managed to say.

"No problem," she said. "So, you know, as a doctor you really should know better than to smoke." Her voice was light and teasing, and he smirked as he turned to look at her.

"Well, as a…I'm sorry, I don't know what you do for a living," he said.

"I'm a writer, actually," she said, turning her face to him as they each leaned against the brick wall of the restaurant.

"Oh, well, as a writer you should also know better than to smoke," he said.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Actually, writers are notorious for their bad habits. It's pretty much expected that we have vices," she said, nodding matter-of-factly.

He raised his eyebrows at her. He wanted to ask her what other vices she suffered from, but he thought that might be a little too forward. Instead, he nodded and gazed at her surreptitiously in the dim light of the alley. The moon was shining through the clouds above, and the light it cast caused her already pale skin to shine almost silver.

"So, I guess you marrying James' sister makes us, like, in-laws or something, right?" she said after moment of silence.

"I guess it does," he said, but even he could hear the strange note of sadness in his voice.

Instead of questioning him any further, she sighed, dropped her cigarette and stubbed it out with the toe of her un-bandaged ankle, before looking up at him. "Well, I don't know about Tanya, but after so many minutes, James begins to get suspicious and comes looking for me. I'd rather not get caught out here."

Edward nodded and stamped out his own cigarette. He reached into his pants pocket and produced a small tin of mints. He offered her one before placing one on his own tongue.

"Shall we?" he asked, and he wanted to offer her his arm, but he was somehow afraid to touch her. When she had been his patient in the hospital, it had been different. He had been wearing gloves, and he doubted their skin had ever touched. Now, out here in the dark alleyway, it seemed like there would be something illicit in touching her, even just to offer her his arm. Instead, he settled for holding the door for her as they made their way back into the restaurant.

Edward couldn't help but feel like the two of them had shared their own private little bubble out in the alley, but now, as he caught sight of Tanya's expectant face, he knew that bubble had been burst.


	7. Chapter 6: Tantrums & Taffeta

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 6: Tantrums and Taffeta

That night, after they returned to the hotel room, Bella felt like her head was in a fog. She decided to take a hot shower, hoping the steam would somehow help clear her tangled thoughts.

James was waiting for her when she came out, propped up on the pillows. He smiled at her suggestively as she made her way over to the bed. In the past, sex with James had always been decent, but this night she found herself struggling to focus or concentrate on him as he moved over her. She found her thoughts drawn back to Edward, and suddenly she thought about what it would feel like to be with him.

Immediately, she was horrified and felt ashamed of herself. Afterward, she rolled over and pretended to sleep, even though her mind was far from being able to rest. In all of the time she had been with James, she had never imagined herself with someone else while they were making love. Her cheeks burned with guilt, and hot tears rolled silently down her cheeks. She was glad her back was to James, and that she could already hear him snoring softly. She didn't know what she would have said had he asked her what was wrong.

Finally, she drifted into a disturbed sleep. She tossed and turned, and for some reason there were flashes of bronze and green in her dreams. She awoke the next morning feeling more tired than she had the night before. Her ankle screamed in protest as she stepped carefully down from the bed, trying not to disturb James. It seemed the night had done nothing to clear her head of the confusion that invaded her consciousness. She decided to take a walk, despite the pain in her ankle. She gathered her clothes and moved as silently as possible to the bathroom, not wanting James to wake up and ask her where she was going. She dressed in a black jogging suit and wrapped her ankle as tightly as possible before sliding on her tennis shoes. She pulled her hair back in a ponytail and put on a black hat and big sunglasses, tucking her cell phone into her back pocket as she quietly shut the door behind her.

Once she reached the main level of the hotel, she made her way quietly through the mostly deserted lobby. It was still early, which explained why there were only a few people milling around the entrance. On the street, she wasn't really sure which direction to head in, so she just took a right and started walking, making sure to keep track of which streets she passed so that she would be able to find her way back.

As she walked, the streets began to fill with more people. She passed a coffee shop and decided to pick up some coffee. Once she ordered, she noticed a small outdoor seating area, and decided to sit and enjoy the morning in solitude a little longer.

She sat, sunglasses in place, sipping her latte, watching as people passed on the street in front of her. It seemed that mostly they were business people on their way to work, and she was grateful that she worked at a job that allowed her so much freedom. As a free lance writer, she set her own hours and made her own deadlines, for the most part. It was what allowed her the luxury of taking so much time to come to Chicago for the wedding.

Thinking of the wedding reminded her of Edward and why she had chosen to take a walk in the early morning hours in the first place. She thought of the protective air he took with her last night. She thought of how he had looked when he had demanded that James let her sit in the chair. He had looked angry, and it had embarrassed her, but she knew as she sat there that she felt something more. No one had ever stood up for her that way. No one had ever looked at her the way he looked at her. It made her flushed and flustered. It made her want to run out of the room and run into his arms at the same time, and that disturbed her.

Her silent musings were interrupted by the buzz of her cell phone. Slightly startled, she fished it out of her back pocket.

"Hello?" she asked. She didn't recognize the number on the caller ID.

"Hi, Bella. It's Tanya."

"Oh, hi, Tanya, how are you?" Bella immediately felt herself blush at what she had just been thinking about right before Tanya's phone call. She forced herself to calm down, reminding herself that there was no way Tanya could have known her thoughts.

"Listen, I don't know what you have planned today, but I was hoping you'd be available for a dress fitting," Tanya said, her tone businesslike as she ignored Bella's greeting and inquiry after her well-being.

"Oh, um, sure, that should be fine. I don't think we have any plans." She was fairly sure that James had plans to visit some friend or another, but Bella was more than a little excited by the idea of having an excuse to get out of spending the day with James and his old buddies.

After getting the time and the location of the shop, Bella hung up with Tanya and glanced at her watch. She jumped up quickly as she realized she'd now have to hurry in order to make it to the appointment on time. She discarded her now cold coffee, and then paused before deciding to return to the counter. She purchased a coffee for James and another one for herself. As she walked back to the hotel room, she pondered on the fact that Tanya had obviously called James to get her cell phone number, which meant that he was awake. Yet, he had not called her himself to check on her or see where she was.

Before she had too much time to wonder about this, she was back at the hotel. She balanced the two coffee cups in one hand and slid her electric key in the lock with the other.

"Hello?" she called out, letting the door shut behind her.

"I'm in here."

Bella set the cups down on the coffee table in the sitting room and moved toward the sound of James' voice. She rounded the corner to the bathroom and found him sticking his head out of the shower curtain, steam swirling hazily around him.

"Hi," he grinned at her. "Want to join me?"

Bella had to work to keep the look of surprise off her face. They had just had sex the night before, and he wanted to do it again, in the shower? That was very out of character for James. Normally she probably would have consented, but suddenly she remembered the feelings that had broiled within her last night as James made love to her. Her empty stomach churned, and she wasn't sure she could keep her coffee down.

"Um. No, I need to hurry and get ready. Tanya wants me to go to a dress fitting today," she said, backing away from the shower.

James shrugged and pulled the curtain back again. "Okay, babe. Later then."

Bella nodded distractedly and backed out of the bathroom completely. "There's coffee in the living room," she called back to James before turning to get dressed, grateful that she had showered the night before.

She'd had been correct about James' plans to visit some old friends that day, so Bella took a taxi by herself to the dress shop. She was grateful that all she had to do was give the driver the shop's name and the cross streets, and he found it without any trouble. Bella paid him and hurried inside, afraid that she was late. She pulled the door open, and at the sound of the chime, four heads swiveled in her direction. Bella recognized Tanya, but the other three women sitting around her were strangers.

"Bella. So glad you made it," Tanya said, rising to greet her. "These are my friends Carmen, Irina, and Kate." She gestured to each of the women in turn. The three women gazed back at Bella, and she immediately felt uneasy. Though each of them smiled and nodded at her, she couldn't help but feel slightly unwelcome in their presence. It was clear that she was the outsider amongst the group of friends.

The dressmaker appeared then and shuffled the group into the dressing room in the back. Bella sat down on a low bench and waited while the dressmaker began to bring out dresses sheathed in plastic bags with long zippers down the front. The woman checked each bag and began calling out each girl's name. The girls began to take their bags and disappear into the small changing rooms that flanked the larger mirrored fitting room. Tanya took a seat near the mirror, looking very much like a queen surveying her court, as she waited for the girls to emerge so that she could critique their dresses.

When Bella's name was called, she rose obediently and took her bag. Once she shut the door to the small dressing room, she turned to unzip the bag. She pushed the plastic covering back and was puzzled. Tanya had mailed her a catalogue clipping of the dress she was to wear in the wedding, but the dress in the bag looked nothing like the picture. Thinking that maybe it would look different off the hanger, she quickly undressed and slipped the dress over her head. She stared at herself in the mirror for a moment, still puzzled, before unlatching the door and stepping back into the dressing area.

She became even more confused when she saw the other three girls standing near Tanya, all wearing the dresses she had seen in the pictures Tanya had sent.

"Um. I think I have the wrong bag," Bella said quietly. Tanya turned and looked at her, her eyes running up and down Bella's dress. The smile that spread slowly across Tanya's face made Bella's heart stop for a moment.

"Oh no, hon, I forgot to tell you. We changed your dress," she shrugged and smiled an insincere, sugary smile before turning her attention back to the other three girls.

Bella took a deep breath and tried to quell the irritation that was building inside her. "Oh, well, that's fine. I mean, it's your wedding, but won't it look a little odd to have one girl wearing a different dress?" Bella asked, smiling as sweetly as she could at Tanya. She wanted to mention the fact that the new dress she had been assigned was horrid, both in cut and color. The fabric was itchy and there seemed to be pleats and ruffles everywhere. She felt like she was drowning in it.

"Oh, no. Don't be silly, Bella. You won't be the only one wearing that dress. Edward's mother and aunt will be wearing that style as well. That way we'll have three in one style and three in another." Tanya smiled sweetly again, but her eyes flashed dangerously, and Bella had to fight the urge to take a step away from her. Stunned, Bella watched as Tanya turned her attention back to her friends whose dresses were all sleek and stylish and moved elegantly when they walked. Bella knew instantly that Tanya's story was false. She couldn't help but wonder what she had done in such a short time to incur Tanya's wrath. She wondered guiltily if it had anything to do with Edward and the attention he had shown her during dinner the night before. She clenched her teeth, but reminded herself that this was Tanya's big day, and she was just a minor participant. She could handle a few hours in an ugly dress.

The dressmaker made her way over to Bella and gave her a sympathetic smile as she began measuring and adjusting in an attempt to make the awful dress fit better. When she was done, Bella had to admit the dress did look better, but it was still not flattering. On an older woman, the style would have been perfect, but on Bella's tiny frame, it ended up looking frumpy and bunchy.

The woman indicated to Tanya that she was done, and Tanya came over to have a look.

"Oh, you look beautiful, Bella," Tanya crooned insincerely. Bella resisted the urge to grab one of the many pins sticking precariously out of her dress and stab Tanya in the eye with it. Instead, she smiled back sweetly and nodded in agreement.

While Bella changed back into her clothes, the dressmaker finished up with the rest of the girls, and soon it was Tanya's turn. Bella took a seat with the other girls and awaited Tanya's entrance. Finally, Tanya came around the corner, one of the dressmaker's assistants holding the long train out behind her as she walked. Despite her previous irritation with Tanya, Bella couldn't help the genuine smile that spread across her face. Tanya looked radiant. She blushed and giggled as she stepped up on the raised platform and looked at herself in the mirrors. The transformation that she underwent in the dress was amazing. She went from being calculating and vindictive to being demure and blushing.

As she looked at her, Bella suddenly burned with shame and embarrassment for her thoughts about Tanya's fiancé. This woman was about to be married. Whatever the strange connection Bella felt with Edward, she knew it was wrong. She wasn't the kind of girl who had feelings for or thoughts about men who belonged to someone else; especially not men who were about to be married. She was playing with fire, and even though she had yet to act on her feelings for Edward, she knew nothing good could come of the strange attraction they shared. As Bella sat there, gazing at Tanya as she twirled around in the gorgeous wedding gown, she swore to herself that whatever there was between her and Edward, it ended immediately.


	8. Chapter 7: Road Trips & Choices

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 7: Road Trips and Choices

He breathed a sigh of relief as he looked at the clock. Finally, it was time for him to leave. His shift at the hospital had seemed interminable. Normally, he enjoyed his time there, especially a graveyard shift like this day. The time passed quickly, and he was always so engrossed in his day that he was surprised when his shift ended, but not this day. Time had dragged by so slowly, he thought he would lose his mind.

He knew that part of the reason for the sluggish passage of the hours was that his thoughts were so scattered and disturbed. He tried to get her off his mind, but he couldn't. Worse, it seemed that intermittently throughout the day, he could have sworn he caught glimpses of her. He'd see a flash of brown hair, and his heart would skip a beat before he realized it wasn't her. He knew he had no business thinking about her. She wasn't his and he belonged to another. But his subconscious could not be so easily convinced.

At last, time did pass, and he stood in front of his locker, methodically changing from his scrubs to his street clothes. He grabbed his belongings and made his way out to the street just as the sun was beginning to peak over the horizon. He had driven his car, as he usually did when he worked the overnight shift, and he made his way through the parking structure toward it. As he was throwing his bag into the backseat, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He frowned slightly as he looked at the caller ID.

"Hi, Tanya. You're up early," he said in greeting.

"Of course I'm up early, Edward. I'm trying to plan a wedding," she snapped.

Five months of wedding planning taught him that it would be better not to respond when she answered like that, so he waited quietly for her to continue.

"I'm stuck over here at the damn cake shop. They've royally screwed up our order. I can't believe what kind of people we're dealing with here. They're all idiots!" Tanya's voice seethed and Edward found himself holding the phone away from his ear as she continued to scream. "But if I'm stuck here, that means that I can't make my appointment with the florist to pick out the final arrangements."

Edward paused for a moment to see if there would be more. When there wasn't, he asked, "I'm just getting off at the hospital now. Do you want me to go to the florist for you?"

Tanya's voice was relieved. "Oh, could you? That would be great, except you won't know what to pick out. Let me call and see if Victoria is available to go with you. She knows what the arrangements should look like."

Edward cringed at the thought of spending time with Tanya's friend Victoria. He had never liked the girl, even though she was one of Tanya's closest friends. But he recognized the desperate edge in Tanya's voice, and chose not to argue. "Okay, well I'm going to go home to shower and change. Call me back and let me know what Victoria says."

Tanya agreed, and Edward climbed into his car and drove through the sleepy streets. At home, he set the coffee pot to percolate while he showered. If he was going to go without sleep, he would need caffeine to get through the day. He showered and dressed, and by the time he walked back into the kitchen, the coffee was ready. He poured himself a cup and leaned against the counter, sipping it while he waited for Tanya's call.

The call took longer than Edward had anticipated, but finally his phone buzzed, and he flipped it open. Tanya didn't even allow Edward the chance to greet her before she began speaking rapidly and in an irritated tone. "Victoria can't go. She has to work or something. I called Irina and Kate too, but neither one of them can go either. Shit!"

"Tanya, calm down. It will be fine. I can handle it. It's just flowers. How hard can it be?" Edward said, working to hide his own irritation and make his voice soothing. Her responding string of profanities were so loud and so violent, Edward was forced to hold the phone away from his ear. He understood that she was under a lot of pressure, with the wedding only a few days away, but he still didn't see why she needed to take it out on him. The next words fell from his lips almost before he realized it.

"What about Bella?"

The cursing ceased immediately, and there was a moment of stunned silence. He was afraid he'd lost the call, so he said, "Tanya?"

"Yeah, I'm here." Her tone was flat and she sighed, "Fine."

Edward could almost hear her teeth clench together as she spoke. He decided he needed to reassure her of the validity of his plan, even though now that he had said the words, he was almost wishing he hadn't. "Look, it's not a big deal. You said you wanted someone from the wedding party to go with me. Bella's in the party. Has she seen the wedding bouquets?"

"Yes, we looked at bouquets last week after the dress fitting."

"Okay then. Can you call her and tell her I'll be there to pick her up in twenty minutes?" Edward asked, hoping his calm tone would rub off on her.

"Fine," Tanya seethed, and then hung up.

Edward took a deep breath. What was he doing? He was about to be married. Was spending time alone with this woman who he felt an undeniable attraction to wise? He knew the answer was, undoubtedly no, but he had gotten himself into the mess, now he would just have to deal with the consequences.

He finished his coffee and, not wanting to give Tanya anything else to be irritated about, rinsed the cup and placed it in the dishwasher. Tanya called back to let him know that Bella had agreed to go with him, and to tell him what hotel she and James were staying in. At this news, Edward felt the strange sensation of butterflies in his stomach. On one hand, he was excited at the prospect of seeing Bella again. On the other hand, he was frightened by that excitement.

When he arrived in front of the hotel, Bella was waiting outside. Edward smiled at her, but his smile faded as he realized that James was waiting right behind her. Was he going with them too? Tanya hadn't mentioned it. Edward felt guilty about his thoughts. There was no rational reason for him to be upset about James accompanying them on their trip to get the flowers for the wedding. After all, this was Edward's wedding to Tanya, and James was Bella's boyfriend.

But despite all his rationalizations, he couldn't help feeling irritated as James began to steer Bella towards the car, his hand on the small of her back. Bella reached out and opened the front door of the passenger side and Edward waited, holding his breath, to see if James would climb in also. Bella climbed in, glancing quickly at Edward and offering him a small smile before she looked back at James. Instead of opening the back door, as Edward feared he would, James bent down and leaned in through the open window. Bella pushed herself back against the seat so that James could see Edward.

"Alright, you two have fun now," James said, smirking at Bella and Edward. The relief that flooded through him at the realization that James would not be coming was instant and even a little shocking it its intensity.

"I'm not sure how much fun it's going to be picking out wedding flowers, but we'll do our best," Edward said, laughing, his mood suddenly buoyant.

James chuckled, but his eyes flashed, and Edward felt sure he saw some sort of warning in them for just a moment. "I would go with you, but I have a previous commitment with some old friends. I was planning to take Bella with me, but Tanya sounded pretty desperate on the phone." His tone was flat, and again he gave Edward that strange warning look, and Edward felt his stomach flutter a little. Was his fascination with Bella obvious enough that even her boyfriend who seemed to notice nothing where Bella was concerned had noticed? He would have to be more cautious.

"Well, we sure appreciate Bella being available on such short notice. I am not to be trusted when it comes to things like finalizing flower arrangements," Edward answered, smiling and choosing to ignore the warning tone in James' voice.

They exchanged a few more pleasantries as Edward glanced around, anxious to be off. He was parked in front of the hotel's busy loading zone, and several cars were already waiting to occupy the space his Volvo was currently taking up. After what seemed like forever, James tapped the roof of the car and wished them a safe trip. Edward gritted his teeth as he heard James' fist reverberate off his paint job, but said nothing. He pulled away from the curb and began heading for the florist shop.

The shop was about an hour away. Tanya had insisted on going to one outside the city that she swore had the best flowers available. After they had been driving for a few minutes, Edward finally chanced a look in Bella's direction. She was sitting quietly, looking out the window, her hands fidgeting nervously in her lap.

"So, thanks for going with me," he said quietly. "I'm sure you had better things to do with your day."

Her sudden laughter surprised him. It was musical and lilting, and he couldn't help glance at her face again when he heard it. She had lifted her head when she laughed, but when she noticed his look, the smile slid off her face, and she looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry. It's just that James' idea of fun on this trip is to run all over hell and back visiting people that I don't know and don't really care about." There was an edge to her voice that Edward couldn't quite identify, but for some strange reason it made Edward's heart leap and plunge at the same time. She glanced up at him before continuing. "No, I don't mind going with you at all."

Edward smiled at the thought that maybe she actually enjoyed spending time with him. But he quickly pushed the thought aside, deciding that she was probably just being polite; doing a favor for James and Tanya. Besides, he shouldn't be thinking about her enjoying his company. That could only lead to bad things for both of them.

Still, the edge in her voice when she spoke of James suggested a degree of unrest in her relationship that Edward was suddenly very curious about. He wanted to ask her more about it, but he wasn't sure how to broach the subject without seeming inappropriate. They rode in silence for a while as Edward thought about Bella's and James a little longer. In Edward's eyes, James didn't treat Bella well, and it made Edward feel fiercely protective of her. But Bella's words suggested to Edward that perhaps he wasn't the only one who saw James' treatment of her as unfair. He wasn't sure what this meant, and decided to file the thought away for later when he could more fully think about the situation.

"So, you're a writer huh?" he asked, deciding that a little conversation might lessen the awkwardness of the situation the two of them found themselves in.

"Yes," Bella said, nodding as she looked at the dashboard.

"What kind of writing do you do?" Edward pressed.

"I'm a free lance writer, but there are several local magazines in Phoenix that I regularly write for."

Edward nodded, thinking about how to phrase his next question before he asked it. "So, how long have you and James been together?"

"Five years," Bella answered, and her voice seemed somehow sad.

Edward raised his eyes at her answer. Five years was a long time. "How old are you, Bella?" he asked quietly.

His question seemed to surprise her. "I'm twenty-three."

"So you've been with James since you were eighteen?"

She simply nodded. Edward took a deep breath. No wonder. She was just a baby. She didn't know any better. Not that he had any room to talk.

As if she read his mind, Bella turned to him and asked, "What about you? How long have you and Tanya been together?" Her expression and the way she turned her body to face him, looking him steadily as she asked the question, disarmed him, and he found himself wanting to be honest with her.

He sighed and unconsciously ran his hand through his hair. He noticed her eyes followed the movement. "Um, Tanya and I have been together for a long time," he said, and then smiled as her brow furrowed. Apparently he wasn't going to get away with such an enigmatic answer. She raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing, obviously waiting for more. He laughed, and the sound was slightly nervous, even to his ears. "Our families have been friends forever, so Tanya and I have known each other since we were children. We dated through high school, and on and off through college."

"You sound so…sad," she said, her own voice low and her gaze probing.

He smiled at her. She was so observant, much more so than James gave her credit for. He imagined she was quite bright.

Realizing he hadn't answered her, he quickly shrugged.

"Can I ask you a question?" she asked softly, her brown eyes still trained on his face as they drove further away from the city. He nodded. "Why are you marrying Tanya?" Something in his expression must have changed, because she quickly added, "I'm sorry. It's really none of my business, I—"

He cut her off, "No, Bella, it's fine. It's a fair question. I'm marrying Tanya because I love her." He wondered if he sounded more believable than he felt. He felt guilty for his inability to sound more sincere. "I love her, and she's been with me through so much. We make a great pair." Even to his ears it sounded like he was reciting a line.

Bella looked out the window again and nodded without speaking. Edward sighed but said nothing else. It was true, he did love Tanya. So why did the words seem so bitter on his tongue? As he looked over at the quiet, beautiful girl sitting next to him, he realized he knew exactly why.

The rest of the drive was fairly quiet. Edward switched the radio on and smiled to himself when Bella hummed softly along to several of the songs. They reached the florist and Edward hurried around to open Bella's door. He refrained from offering her his hand as she stepped out, although he knew he wanted to see what her skin felt like pressed against his. He pushed the thought aside and smiled down at her as she looked up at him wonderingly. His smile faded, and he knew by the look on her face that she wasn't used to such small courtesies. He made a point to hold the door open for her as they entered the flower shop, giving her a pointed look as she met his gaze questioningly. At his look, she smiled and blushed before dropping her eyes to the floor.

The woman behind the counter looked up as the pair entered and smiled warmly. "Hello, how can I help you?"

Edward returned her smile and nodded. "Hi, I'm here to finalize the order for the Cullen-Denali wedding."

"I have them in the back, let me just go grab them," the woman said after rifling through a file folder and retrieving their order. She disappeared into the back room and returned only moments later carrying two large flower boxes. She set them on the counter in front of her and started removing the lids.

Edward, realizing he had no idea what he was looking for, stepped back and allowed Bella to eye the large bouquets critically. He couldn't help but watch her intently as she scrunched up her brow, a crease forming in the center. He also couldn't help but be surprised as she bantered and bartered with the florist about what the bouquets should look like, versus what she saw in front of her. Apparently there weren't enough of one kind of flower, and too many of another. Edward didn't pay any attention to the details of the conversation, just to Bella.

When they had finally reached an agreement, the florist stepped back and shook her head at Edward. "Well, your fiancé drives a hard bargain, Mr. Cullen," she said, smiling back and forth between the two. Edward's own smile faded slightly as he realized that the woman thought Bella was his fiancé. It was a natural assumption. They were here finalizing wedding bouquets, and Bella certainly seemed to know what the bouquets should look like. He found himself unable to speak, however; unable to correct the woman's misimpression. He opened his mouth a few times, but nothing came out.

Finally, he heard Bella speak softly from his side. "We're not engaged." Her voice was low and he felt sure that if he dared glance at her, she'd be looking down at her feet. "He's engaged to my boyfriend's sister," she explained. Edward felt his heart clench at her words, but he wasn't sure why. Was that a hint of sadness in her voice? The thought made his knees slightly weak.

The woman looked back and forth between the two of them for a moment longer, almost as if she didn't believe Bella's words. Finally, she spoke. "Oh, well, my mistake," she said, a sweet smile on her face. Even as she spoke, Edward sensed that she had wanted to say more. But she didn't. Instead, she swept the boxes and her notes containing Bella's instructions into her arms. "Tell your fiancé the flowers will be ready for pick up in two days," she called over her shoulder as she headed to the back room again. Edward thanked the woman, even though he could no longer see her, and he and Bella turned to leave the shop.

As they returned to the car, he was struck by the thought that his time with Bella would soon be over. He would drop her back off at the hotel, and he realized he didn't know when he would see her again before the wedding. Suddenly, as rash and imprudent as it was, he couldn't bear the thought of parting from her yet.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, as he opened her door.

She looked up at him as she climbed in, and he was struck again by the beauty of her features. The sun caught her hair and picked up reddish tints he hadn't noticed before. Her pale skin glowed luminously in the morning sunlight. Her eyes, large and dark, were framed by a thick fringe of lashes. He felt his breath catch. Unaware of his sudden inability to breathe or even think clearly in her presence, Bella smiled and shrugged. "I could eat."

He grinned, and then hurried over to climb into the driver's side of the car. He knew just where he would take her. It was a quiet little Italian café that was located on the outskirts of the city that he used to go to when he was in college. He hadn't been there in a while, and as he pointed his car in the direction of the restaurant, he was afraid it might have closed down.

But to his delight, when they reached it, they found the restaurant still in business. Bella gazed at it through the car's windshield, and a wide smile spread across her face. At her obvious pleasure, Edward couldn't help but smile in return. He held her door open for her, and then led the way to the front door.

Bella gazed around in wonder as they walked in. "This place is beautiful, Edward. How did you know about it?"

He smiled and shrugged. "I used to come here a lot in college, but it's been years since I've been here. I knew it was close by, and thought you'd enjoy it."

"What's it called, I didn't see a sign out front?" Bella asked, gazing at the small tables and tiny twinkling lights that were strung across the ceiling. Even though it was daytime outside, the windows were draped with jewel colored silk scarves, and the inside of the restaurant was dim. It was one of the reasons Edward liked it so much: the quiet, dim lightly and ambiance.

"La Bella Italia," he answered without thinking, pulling a chair out for her as the hostess indicated their table. As the words fell from his tongue, however, he paused and looked at Bella. She noticed and immediately blushed and dropped her eyes to her lap as she sat. Edward felt himself blush, and wondered if his choice of restaurants was his subconscious' way of telling him something. He already couldn't get her out of his mind, now he was bringing her to a restaurant that had her name in the title.

They both chose to ignore this as they perused their menus. Finally, Bella decided to break the awkward silence. "So, you haven't been here for a while? Does Tanya not enjoy this place?"

Edward, whose thoughts had been lost in his reasons for bringing Bella here and all the implications of what he was now certain was a subconscious slip-up, started slightly at the mention of Tanya's name. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before speaking. "No, I've never brought Tanya here," he finally managed to say.

"Oh," Bella said simply, surprise evident in her voice.

Edward shook himself out of his self-imposed stupor. He felt bad for bringing Bella to lunch, and then lapsing into moody silence the entire time. After they ordered, he turned to her. "So, tell me more about life in Phoenix," he smiled.

She chewed a breadstick thoughtfully for a moment before answering him. "Well, you already know what I do for a living. Other than that, my life is not that exciting."

"Are you originally from Phoenix?"

"No. I'm from Washington. A little town you've probably never heard of, Forks."

"You're right. Never heard of it," he teased, smiling at her. "So what brought you to Phoenix?"

"James," she answered simply. He raised one eyebrow at her to let her know he expected her to expound upon her answer. She rolled her eyes and laughed. "James and I both attended college at Washington State. After we were done, James wanted to go to Phoenix. He'd never been there, but he had some friends that were moving there. So we all moved there together."

"Do you like it in Phoenix?"

"No. I miss the green of Washington. Everything in Phoenix is dead and brown. And it's so hot." The sadness in her voice was unmistakable.

"So why do you stay?" he asked, his eyes burning into hers a little too intensely for what was supposed to be a casual conversation.

Just then, the waitress arrived with their food, and Edward was irritated that he didn't get to hear the answer to his question. He made a note to remember to ask her again once the waitress left. Bella ordered the mushroom ravioli, and he ordered the cheese manicotti. The waitress collected their menus and left, and Edward turned his attention back to Bella, raising an eyebrow at her expectantly.

She didn't try to pretend not to remember where their conversation had left off. "I stay because it's where my life is now." Again, there was the tinge of sadness in her voice from before. He scrutinized her face, trying to understand more, because he was convinced there was more that she wasn't saying.

"And do you like your life?" he asked softly before he could stop himself.

Her eyes flashed to his for a moment before she dropped them back to her lap. "Does it matter?" After she spoke the words, she looked up at him again, and this time she held his gaze.

He thought about her words for a moment before he spoke. "No, I guess sometimes it doesn't. I suppose that we all get to a point in our lives where we wonder how we got there and where we might be if our choices had been different." As he finished, he was no longer sure whose life they were speaking of anymore. He realized that there were a lot of parallels that could be drawn between Bella's life and his own. Was it possible that they were both stuck? If that was true, was it possible for them both to become unstuck?

As they finished their meal, and Edward drove them back into the city, his head was filled with thoughts of choices, consequences and unfulfilled dreams.

Before he knew it, he was pulling up in front of the hotel, and Bella was thanking him for lunch as she pulled on the handle of the car door. Before she left, however, she looked up at him, and the look he saw in her eyes told him that she knew. She knew how he felt; she knew the thoughts that had been rattling around in his head. Not only did she know, but there was something in her face that told him that he was not alone in his thoughts. For a moment, it looked like she was going to say something more. But just then Edward caught a glimpse of James sauntering towards them.

It seemed Bella caught sight of him in the same moment, because she closed her mouth and sighed before opening the door. "I had a nice time today, Edward," she said, her voice soft and sad in the confines of the car. He felt sure that if it had not been for James's sudden appearance, she would have said more.

Edward smiled and nodded, too overwhelmed by what had just transpired between the two of them to speak. Sadness filled him as he realized their time together was over. As he drove away from the hotel, he had no idea when he would see her again, or how he would make it until he did.


	9. Chapter 8: Rehearsals & Confessions

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 8: Rehearsals and Confessions

"Come on, Bella. We're going to be late," James called from the front room of their suite. Bella rolled her eyes as she put on her earrings and slipped on her heels. Despite her irritation, she took a moment to smile briefly at the feel of the shoes on her feet. She had finally stopped wearing the brace on her ankle the day before, and was excited about the prospect of wearing high-heeled, matching shoes again.

James placed his hand on the small of her back as he hurried her out of the room. "Come on, come on," he muttered as they rushed through the hallway to the elevator.

Bella felt her irritation flare. "You know, James, if we had come back to the hotel when I wanted, instead of stopping to meet your friends at that pub, we wouldn't be running late now."

James chose to ignore her. Instead, he repeatedly pushed the button to call the elevator.

"It's not going to come any faster, even if you push it a hundred times," Bella said, rolling her eyes at him.

The ride to the old church where Edward and Tanya's rehearsal dinner was being held was tense and quiet, and Bella felt a twinge of guilt for a moment. She usually chose to ignore James' annoying comments and oblivious behavior, but for some reason she felt particularly on edge this night.

When the cab pulled up in front of the church, Bella hopped out and walked in ahead of James, not looking back as she swung open the heavy door.

"Bella," he called after her. She ignored him. "Bella, wait." He caught her by the wrist and forced her to stop. "I'm sorry, baby. Don't be like that."

She closed her eyes and sighed. "It's okay. I'm sorry too. I'm just tired." She ducked her head and he bent down slightly to kiss her forehead. She looked up at him and smiled.

The two of them made their way into the large banquet hall that was set up for the rehearsal dinner, and James' hand was once again on her back, only this time the gesture was meant to be comforting, not controlling.

The room was set up with five long tables. There was a buffet table set up along the far wall of the room, and several people were milling around, getting food and socializing before the rehearsal began. Bella's eyes scanned the room and landed immediately on Tanya. She was surrounded by Victoria, Kate, and Irina. The four of them sat at a table, wine glasses in hand, laughing and chatting.

In spite of herself, Bella looked around the room for Edward, and her heart sank a little when she couldn't find his face among the crowd. She hadn't seen him since their trip to the florist shop a week ago, and that somehow made her unsettled.

Each table was adorned with small name placards, and James led Bella to the table with their names. He pulled out her chair for her, and Bella looked up at him in surprise. He smiled and ducked his head in embarrassment at the look on her face.

"Thank you," she said quietly. He nodded and then went to get them both plates of food.

As Bella waited for James to return, she looked around the room. With the exception of Tanya and her group of friends, she didn't know a single other person in the room. Soon her attention was caught by a group of people sitting a few tables away. There was a middle aged blonde man and a woman about his same age. The man was incredibly handsome, with strong features and hair that was just beginning to gray around his temples. The woman was gracefully beautiful and her hair hung in soft caramel waves that fell past her shoulders. To their left sat a small girl who looked to be about Bella's age. She was tiny, almost pixie-like, and had short, spiky hair. The three of them were engrossed in conversation, speaking animatedly, and although she couldn't hear them, Bella found herself drawn to them. They were fascinating, but she couldn't put her finger on exactly why.

Soon, James returned with a plate of food for himself and for Bella. She graciously accepted the plate and began to eat, unable to keep her eyes from straying around the room in search of the one person she knew she should not be looking for.

She picked at her food, unable to really enjoy any of it, as she was still feeling inexplicably on edge. After a few minutes, she quietly excused herself, setting her napkin on her plate as she rose from the table.

She wasn't exactly sure of her destination as she headed down the semi dark hallway of the old church. She wondered if it would be in poor taste to sneak a cigarette on the grounds of the church.

Lost in her thoughts as she was, she didn't hear the approaching footsteps behind her. She was unaware of anyone else's presence until she heard someone call her name. Gasping, she whirled around, and came face to face with Edward. His eyes were wild, and his hair looked like he'd been trying to pull it out by the roots.

"Sorry." His grin was sheepish but his eyes were still intense as he came to a stop in front of her. He opened his mouth to speak again, but as he did, they heard another set of footsteps approaching. Realizing that the two of them were standing close together, and leaning even closer to one another still, he stepped away and attempted to make his stance more casual. She picked up on his cue immediately, and by the time the stranger passed by, they were both leaning casually against the wall, several feet apart. To the outside observer, it might have seemed that the pair didn't even know each other.

After the footsteps had faded away, Edward looked around. His eyes fell on a doorway off the hallway, and he pushed it open, holding it and motioning for Bella to step inside the room. She stood looking at him skeptically for a moment, knowing what she should do, and unable to compel her feet to obey. She sighed resignedly and took a hesitant step forward, stepping past him into the room. Once inside, she looked around and realized the small room must have been a classroom. There was a chalkboard on one wall, and several chairs and a small table were scattered about.

Edward followed her in and let the door close softly behind him. He didn't flip the light switch on, but there was enough light coming through the small window that she could still make out his beautiful face in aching clarity, despite the semidarkness.

He stared at her for a moment before running his hand through his hair again. His face twisted in an agonized expression. "Bella," he began but didn't seem to be able to find the words to continue.

Breathless, she gazed up into his eyes; both waiting for him to continue and hoping that he would not.

"Please." His voice was rough with emotion, and she felt like his eyes were boring into her soul. He reached up and caught her little finger with one of his own. She was unable to stifle the gasp that escaped her lips at his touch. It was the most physical contact she had ever had with him. For weeks, she had imagined what it would feel like, his skin on hers. The reality was so much more powerful than anything she had anticipated. She took a deep, ragged breath, trying to slow her suddenly racing heart. She closed her eyes in an attempt to block out his intense stare and gather her jumbled thoughts.

"I-" she began, but he cut her off, placing one long finger to her lips. His skin was hot against hers, and she gasped again at the contact as her eyes flew open. He felt her sharp intake of breath around his finger, and his own eyelids fluttered closed at the sensation. After a moment, he opened his eyes and gazed steadily into hers. He would listen to what she had to say even if it was something he didn't want to hear. Realizing his finger was still pressed against her lips, he started slightly and pulled it away, shoving his hand into his pocket to keep from touching her again.

On the other side of the door, she heard the muffled voices of people rushing past, oblivious to what was going on in the tiny room. Her heart thumped even faster as she realized that, at any moment, someone could burst through that door. She wondered what it would look like to anyone who caught the two of them in there together. How would they explain themselves?

He watched as her eyes darted to the door, and in an instant, he knew what she was thinking. He clenched his jaw at the thought of the danger this meeting was putting them both in. He knew the risks, and though he was willing to take them, he hated asking her to take them, too. This was wrong. He knew it, and he knew she knew it, but for the life of him, he couldn't bring himself to leave. Physically it would be a simple act to turn on his heel and leave her standing alone the small, dark room. Emotionally though, he knew it would have taken the strength of ten men to get him to budge.

She tried again, eyeing him warily as she spoke. "I don't know if I can do this." She decided it was better to be honest and direct with him, rather than lead him on unnecessarily.

Even in the room's dim light, she could see his eyes darkening at her words. "Do you think I can? Do you think this is easy for me?" He realized his tone was hard and worked to make his next words softer. "I know this is wrong. I know we shouldn't be here. But do you know how long I've been waiting? Do you know how long I've been looking for someone like you?"

Her eyes widened at his words, and she gazed at him for a moment before dropping her gaze to the floor. She thought about everything that was left unsaid between the two of them. She thought about how she had known immediately what he wanted, just like he had known immediately what she meant.

He took a step toward her and she looked up to meet his gaze as he approached. "Don't you feel it?" he whispered, gazing down at her.

Wordlessly, she nodded and looked up to meet his gaze.

He smiled at her admission. No matter what happened from this point on, she couldn't deny what she felt between them. She just didn't know how to describe it, or for that matter, what to do about it.

After a moment, she finally spoke. "What is it?" Her voice was barely above a whisper and it trembled a little.

He shook his head. "I don't know, Bella. But I feel it too, and I can't turn away from it now."

"What about Tanya? And James?" she whispered, dropping her eyes to the floor again.

At her words, Edward's face twisted again in pain. He closed his eyes and took a step backward, putting some distance between the two of them. He ran his hand through his hair again and scrubbed his face before shrugging. "I don't know, Bella. I really don't. I just know that I can't ignore this anymore." He gestured between the two of them to indicate the connection neither one of them seemed to be able to explain.

"Edward, you're about to get married." Her voice broke on the last word. "We're here for your rehearsal dinner." Her voice was pleading. "What are you saying?" she whispered.

"I'm saying…" He faded off, scrubbing his hand over his face again in frustration.

Bella put one hand to her mouth, thinking again about the unspoken words between them. She knew right then the words that she desperately wanted to hear from him. But in the same instant, she knew that she didn't want him to speak them. She didn't want him to speak those words because of her.

Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head back and forth. "No, Edward. I can't do this. I can't be that person. I won't come between you and Tanya." She was openly sobbing now, his tall form becoming wavy and distorted through her tear filled haze.

"No, Bella, please. You don't understand. Things haven't been right between Tanya and me for a long time."

"Then why are you marrying her, Edward?"

Suddenly, Edward's shoulders slumped as if he held the weight of the world atop them. He gave a strangled cry and sunk to his knees. "I don't know, Bella. I don't know. We've been together for so long, it just seemed like the next step. But I didn't know." His voice broke as tears began streaming down his cheeks. "I didn't know that you were out there, Bella. Now that I do, there's no way I can marry Tanya."

Bella's eyes widened as he finally spoke the words, and she began backing away from him. He reached toward her, but she couldn't come to him. As much as her heart was screaming at her to run to him and to let him envelope her, she couldn't do it. He belonged to another, as did she.

"I…I can't. I'm sorry, Edward," she stumbled over her feet and her words as she hastily retreated towards the door. She managed to tear her eyes away from his crumpled form long enough to grasp the doorknob and wrench it open.

Once outside, she ran without looking back. She bumped shoulders with several people as she tore through the dark hallways trying desperately to find the way out. Suddenly, the church that had seemed so vast and cavernous before seemed to be closing in on her. Finally, she threw her weight against a door, and she was outside on the street. She stopped, hands on her thighs, breathing heavily. Her traitorous ankle throbbed for the first time in days, and in her irrational state of mind, she couldn't help thinking that it was joining her heart in screaming out in protest for her to return to the man who had only moments before been on hands and knees begging for her to stay with him. She ignored both of them and kept walking, attempting to put all thoughts of him out of her head, and put as much distance between herself and the church as possible as the sun sank further behind the tall buildings of downtown Chicago.


	10. Chapter 9: Hangovers & Departures

Chapter 9: Hangovers and Departures

The alarm blared in the back of his consciousness for a long time before he finally forced himself to wake up. When he did, the blindingly bright light of the room pierced his skull like a thousand sharp knives. He groaned and closed his eyes again. Slowly, as the light permeated his consciousness, it became slightly less difficult to open one eye half-way.

After a moment, he was able to lift his head slightly to look around. The action cost him however, as the stabbing pain moved from behind his eyes to the base of his skull. He was determined though, and began looking around the room. For a moment, he was unsure of where he was or how he had gotten there.

As he sat up slowly, groaning at the pain that seemed to radiate through his limbs, it all came rushing back to him. He groaned again, but for a different reason. This time the pain was entirely emotional as he remembered his last meeting with Bella. He remembered falling to his knees as she stumbled away from him, wide-eyed and terrified.

He had stayed in the small dark classroom for quite some time, curled up on the floor, sobbing like a child. After who knows how long, he realized that people would soon be looking for him. He had gathered himself together the best he could in the small restroom he had found down the hall, planted a smile on his face, and returned to the rehearsal dinner.

He had hoped beyond hope that she would be there when he returned to the dinner. His eyes had roamed over the endless sea of faces, but he had not found the one he was hoping for. Tanya's eyes had been suspicious when he returned. She also looked around, and he guessed that they were looking for the same face among the crowd. Neither would have any luck, however. She had disappeared.

About an hour after his fateful meeting with Bella in the small classroom, James had approached him and Tanya.

"Have either of you seen Bella?" he asked, walking toward the head table where Edward was pushing food around his plate, pretending to eat.

"Not for a while," Tanya answered, her voice trailing off as she gazed around the large room.

Edward hadn't trusted himself to speak. Instead, he stared at his plate and shook his head slowly. Despite his own grief, he was thinking rationally enough to be irritated that James had waited so long to look for Bella.

James wandered off then to look for Bella. Edward had a feeling James would not find her at the church, but of course, he said nothing. James never returned, and Edward assumed that, unable to find Bella in the church, he had left and returned to the hotel room. Worry about Bella's safety gnawed at his still empty stomach, but he knew after what had happened in that classroom, he was the last one who should be looking for her.

Edward had moved through the remainder of the rehearsal dinner mechanically. His body present, but his mind far away. After what seemed like an eternity, he found himself walking down the steps of the church, Tanya clutching his hand. His mind still in a haze, he looked over as Tanya squeezed his hand.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then," she said, smiling up at him.

He had furrowed his brow, momentarily confused, before he remembered with a flood of relief that Tanya had wanted them to spend the night before their wedding apart and had booked two separate suites at a hotel near the church. The thought of spending the night alone was immensely appealing, and the smile that spread across his face at the thought was genuine.

Misunderstanding Edward's smile, Tanya giggled. "Don't worry, baby. It'll be our last night apart, and then we'll be together every night for the rest of our lives." She reached up and stroked his hair as she spoke.

Edward fought against rearranging his features into a grimace at her words. She pressed her lips to hi, and as she did, something sparked within him. Suddenly, he had wanted to kiss her. He had wanted to feel her. He reached up and twisted his hands into her hair and tilted her head back, deepening their kiss. He pressed his tongue into her mouth and pulled her flush against his body. Tanya reacted to his touch, her body melting into his and a groan escaping from her lips. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and dug her fingers sharply into his scalp as she grabbed his hair.

After a moment, he broke away. Tanya's breathing was labored and her eyes were hooded with desire. "I guess we don't have to be apart tonight," she said huskily.

But Edward just shook his head. "No, I think we should," he'd said, trying to make his smile reassuring. "It'll make it better," he lied.

Disappointment clouded her eyes for a moment, but then she nodded eagerly. They had walked hand in hand to the nearby hotel where they parted ways with another kiss. Tanya had tried to make it as deep and passionate as the one before, but Edward ended it quickly, giving her a small smile before heading to his room.

Once in his room, Edward had sat down on the bed without turning the lights on. The despair he felt rocked his body. He thought back to the kiss with Tanya. He had wanted to feel something, anything, when he kissed her. He wanted to kiss her and feel the spark that he knew he should. It had been obvious from her reaction that she felt something, but when he had released her from his embrace, he felt nothing. He was cold and empty, and the thought made him sick.

He had thought about what it would feel like to kiss Bella the way he had kissed Tanya. He imagined the scene in the small classroom playing out in a different way. But inevitably, his mind drifted back to what had actually happened, and he couldn't stand thinking about the look on Bella's face as she had fled from the room. At that point, he had risen, walked to the mini bar, and proceeded to drink himself into oblivion.

Now, in the light of morning, as he sat rubbing his aching head on the edge of the bed, he remembered all of this, and despair coursed through his body with the pounding rhythm that filled his head. What the hell had he gotten himself into? What was he going to do? Today was his wedding day. Not only did he have one hell of a hangover, but his thoughts were such a tangled mess he wasn't sure which way was up anymore.

He stood in the shower for a long time, not wanting to get out and face what lay beyond the hotel room. He closed his eyes and saw Bella's face behind his eyelids. He realized that in his memory, her face was twisted in sadness and despair. She hadn't wanted him. He had offered himself to her, offered to leave Tanya for her, and she had rejected him. So where did that leave him?

He thought about Tanya who was, at this very moment, getting ready to walk down the aisle to him. The question was: would Edward be there to greet her at the end of the aisle? Could he allow himself to marry Tanya when he had drunken himself into oblivion the night before because of someone else?

Bella's face flashed into his mind again, and suddenly, he knew what had to happen. She had made her choice, and in doing so had made his for him. The night before, he had felt sure that fate had smiled upon them and brought them together, but now he realized that fate was also cruel. Despite the unexplainable attraction they obviously both felt, they were not meant to be together.

The thought made Edward's heart and limbs feel heavy as he pulled on his clothing and prepared to leave. He would go to the church and he would marry Tanya. His life would be as it would have been had Bella never entered it: safe, secure. It would hurt, and it would be hard, but eventually he would get over her. He would make excuses to keep from seeing her on those rare occasions that Tanya wanted to see James.

He just needed to get through the day. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and took a deep, steadying breath. He wished he hadn't consumed all of the mini bar's alcohol the night before, because he felt like he could really have used some liquid courage right then. Instead, he steeled himself as best he could, grabbed his jacket, and took the short walk to the church.

The moment he walked in, he was seized by Tanya's mother. "Oh, there you are Edward. Where have you been? Tanya's already here. We almost sent someone to get you. You look like hell. Did you go out drinking last night? I thought you already had your bachelor party." She was speaking too fast, and his head was hurting too much for him to really concentrate on what she was saying. She was steering him back through the church to the room that had been set up for him and the groomsmen to use.

The room was empty, and Edward sat down, putting his head in his hands in an effort to stop the pounding.

"Rough night?"

Edward looked up and smiled as his brother-in-law, Jasper walked in. He stood and the two men embraced each other affectionately. "Is it that obvious?" Edward asked, chuckling.

"Well, you forget I've seen you looking a hell of a lot worse than this." He paused and eyed Edward speculatively for a moment. "But something is different. This is more than just a hangover. You okay?"

Edward couldn't maintain eye contact with the man who had been like a brother to him since marrying his sister Alice years ago. "I will be," he said simply. It was as honest as he could be at the moment, and as the words left his lips, he hoped they were true.

Jasper knew Edward well, and didn't press him for more information. Instead, the two men sat in companionable silence as the minutes ticked by, and Edward's impending nuptials drew nearer.

A short time later, James walked into the room, still adjusting his tuxedo. "Hey, Edward. Sorry I'm late." The irritation in his voice was unmistakable, and his eyes flashed.

"It's okay. Are you all right?" Edward asked, eyeing him warily.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just dropped Bella off at the airport."

Edward's eyes snapped up to James' face, and before he could stop himself he was on his feet striding towards him. "What? Why? What happened?" He fired the questions off in rapid succession, not giving James time to respond between each one.

James tossed his hands in the air in a gesture of defeat, and plopped down in a chair. "I don't really know. I finally found her at the hotel last night. She was crying and upset, and…just blubbering. Something about getting back for work. She'd packed up all her shit and said she needed to get out of here now. I convinced her to wait until morning. This morning I took her to the airport, and she caught a flight home." He shrugged as he finished.

Edward's mouth had fallen open, and he worked to close it as he processed what he'd just heard. "So that's it? You just let her go?" His voice was angry and rose in volume with each word. Both James and Jasper stared at his bizarre reaction. "I mean, you're not going to go after her? You don't even want to know what's wrong, or how to fix it?" he shouted. Suddenly, he knew he wasn't talking about James anymore. He was shouting the words at James, but they were meant for him. He growled in frustration and pulled on the ends of his hair as he paced the room.

With one more glance back at James' confused expression, he pushed the door open and barreled down the hallway.

"Tanya?" he called, not really sure where to find her. He continued calling her name and pushing doors open until finally he found her. She was sitting at a dressing table, a woman standing behind her plaiting her strawberry curls into some sort of elaborate style that she wound around her head. Her hands froze at Edward's abrupt entrance, and Tanya's eyes met his.

"Edward, you're not supposed to be here," Tanya said sternly, but her voice trembled a little at the end.

Edward looked at the girl who was still holding Tanya's hair in her frozen hands. "Can you give us a moment, please?"

The girl nodded and scurried from the room. Edward moved and knelt in front of Tanya, taking both of her hands in his. "Tanya..." he began, but then trailed off, uncertain of what to say.

Tanya closed her eyes and big tears clung to the ends of her eyelashes before falling and plopping wetly onto her dress. "Just say it, Edward," she whispered.

Edward took a deep breath. "I can't do this. I can't marry you, Tanya. I'm sorry. I know it's unforgivable to do this to you now, but you deserve someone who can love you in a way that I can't."

Tanya's face twisted in agony, but she didn't try to argue with him. She didn't plead with him or beg him to change his mind, and Edward wasn't sure if that fact made it easier or more difficult to handle.

He dropped his head into her lap and she stroked his hair, her tears falling onto her hands and his tears soaking her dress. Finally, she lifted his head and he met her gaze.

"Go, now, before anyone comes."

He reached up and stroked her cheek, wiping away the tears that had fallen there and ruined her make-up. "Thank you, Tanya."

Her face twisted again, but she nodded. He closed the door behind him, but it didn't stop him from hearing the agonized scream from the other side as he made his way quickly down the hallway and out the back door. Once outside, he looked around, blinking in the bright sunlight. It was a bright, clear day. The perfect day for a wedding, just not his.

He hailed a cab and gave the driver the directions back to his house, a plan forming in his mind as the cab neared the house. He still had things at the hotel room, but he hoped that Tanya would be willing to take care of those for him. He had no time to deal with anything else now.

The cab pulled up in front of the house, and he climbed out and rushed inside. He knew he would have to get all of his things, but for now, he grabbed the small suitcase at the top of the closet and began haphazardly stuffing various articles of clothing inside. There were so many arrangements he needed to make, not the least of which was where he would be living, but he couldn't think about any of that at the moment.

Grabbing the suitcase in one hand and locking the door behind him with the other, he left the house he had shared with Tanya. The cabbie was still waiting for him, and he climbed back in, not bothering to throw the suitcase in the trunk.

"Where to now?" the driver asked, eyeing Edward through the rearview mirror.

"The airport please," Edward answered.

"Oh yeah? Where you going?" the cabbie asked, attempting to be conversational as he pulled away from the curb.

Despite everything that had occurred over the past twenty-four hours, Edward couldn't help the smile that spread over his face as he answered the cab driver's question. "Phoenix."


	11. Chapter 10: Escape Plans & Lies

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 10: Escape Plans and Lies

"Call me when you get home, okay?"

Bella nodded and took the bag James handed her. He didn't make a move to kiss or embrace her, and neither did she. Instead, she simply turned and walked in through the sliding doors of the airport terminal and headed towards the check in counter.

As she walked, she wondered if James understood what her exodus meant. She thought back to the night before and her abrupt departure from the church. She avoided thinking about the reason for her sudden disappearance. Instead, focusing on the conversation they had when James had finally followed her back to the hotel room. By the time he had returned, she had already packed all her things and was just waiting for him to show up so that she could tell him goodbye.

He had found her in the dark, sitting on the bed next to her suitcase.

"What's the matter? Where have you been?" he had asked.

"I need to go home." Her voice had broken on the last word, even though she had sworn to herself that she wouldn't cry. She took a deep breath, knowing this would never work if she cried.

James eyed her for a moment, his eyes clouded with confusion. "What do you mean? The wedding is tomorrow. Why would we go home now?"

Bella shook her head. "No, James, I need to go home. You need to stay for your sister's wedding."

"Why do you need to go home, Bella?" His voice had taken on a tone of impatience, as if he were speaking to a small child.

Bella closed her eyes. She had known she'd be unable to lie convincingly if she looked him in the face. "Um, my editor called. There's a big article he needs my help on. It's got an impossible deadline, and he wants me home immediately." It was a ridiculous lie, and Bella hoped for once that James' lack of attention would pay off.

James shrugged and sighed. "Okay, Bella, if you say so. I think you're making a mistake though. Tanya and Edward are going to be upset that you're missing the wedding."

At the mention of Edward's name Bella felt the breath leave her chest. She recovered as quickly as she could and grabbed her suitcase off the bed.

Although she had wanted to leave immediately, James had insisted that she at least wait until morning. She wouldn't have listened to him, except for the fact that he had called the airline and discovered that the last flight to Phoenix had already departed.

She had laid awake most of the night, listening to James' heavy, peaceful breathing. She was terrified of being stuck in Chicago for another night. She was afraid Edward would show up looking for her, but she was more afraid of the fact that part of her mind wished that he would.

When the first light of dawn had finally permeated the hotel's heavy curtains, Bella was up and showered. All of her eagerness to leave did her no good, however. She was still forced to wait impatiently for James.

"Bella, relax. Your editor will survive until you get there," James had said, rolling his eyes at her as they had finally left the hotel room.

As she walked through the airport terminal to her gate, Bella was pretty sure James did not understand the implications of her leaving Chicago. She wasn't even sure she understood them herself. She just knew that she needed to get back home, away from the man with the piercing green eyes and the unruly bronze hair.

The night before, when he had told her he wanted her, her heart had torn in two. One piece belonged to James. For all his inconsiderateness and his casual disregard, she owed him a lot. He'd been there for her through so much: college, her parents' divorce, the troubled times with her sister Rose. James was the one who had stood by her side through all of that. How could she turn her back on that, just because a beautiful stranger had entered her life?

But then there was the other piece of her heart, the one that had splintered off just last night. It had been claimed by the man with the auburn hair. That thought terrified her. She had known him for such a short time, and he belonged to another.

She pushed her tortured and tumultuous thoughts aside as she waited for her plane to board. She couldn't help looking around her nervously. The thought of James discovering her lie about her reasons for leaving Chicago so abruptly and coming to find her to drag her back to the wedding terrified her. The thought of another man coming to the airport to find her both frightened and excited her. The fear she didn't mind. The excitement was what made her both nervous and ashamed.

She glanced up at the clock and wondered what he was doing right now. Was he thinking about her? She felt her face burn with shame. She had no right to wish that his thoughts would be drawn to her. She had no claim on him. James hadn't mentioned anything upon his return the night before, so she assumed that Edward had recovered himself after she left him in the small, dark classroom and returned to the dinner. That would mean that he would be spending his morning preparing for his wedding.

Because of her haste to get to the airport and away from James, she had a while to sit and wait for her plane. As the minutes ticked by, her thoughts did not become any less convoluted as she had hoped they would with the passage of time. She chewed her fingernails, pretended to read a magazine, drank two cups of coffee and used the restroom. But mostly she just glanced nervously around the terminal.

Once, she'd caught a glimpse of a shock of bronze hair moving toward her. Her heart began a frantic tattoo against her chest, and suddenly it seemed that she couldn't get enough air. A moment later, the man stepped into the light, and a fierce disappointment had ripped through her when she realized it wasn't him.

The flight back to Phoenix was tedious. She couldn't concentrate on the in-flight movie, and the bag of peanuts she ate seemed to sit like a lump in the pit of her stomach. For a moment, she considered purchasing a few of the tiny bottles of alcohol from the stewardess as she passed, but then she realized that she was travelling alone, and becoming inebriated would not be smart, however appealing that form of escape might have been.

When her plane touched down in Phoenix, she pulled her cell phone out and made the phone call she'd been dreading.

"Hello?"

"Rose, it's Bella. I know it's short notice, but I'm in town, at the airport. Can you come get me, please?"

"What the hell? Why are you home early? Where's James?" Rosalie questioned, her tone suspicious. That was exactly why she'd been dreading this phone call. Her sister Rosalie knew her too well. It would be much more difficult to hide her mental tumult from her than it had been to hide it from James.

"I had to come home for some…work stuff. James is still in Chicago. Can you please just come get me?" Bella heard her tone become more desperate on the last words.

"Of course, Bella. Calm down. I'll be right there."

The two girls hung up, and Bella collected her bag from baggage claim. She found a bench outside the terminal and sat down to wait for her sister. Rosalie didn't live far from the airport, so she knew she wouldn't have to wait long.

As she sat on the bench, the hot wind of the Phoenix June day blew her hair back and made it difficult for her to breathe. She hadn't missed this part. Phoenix in June was unbearable. She felt beads of sweat prick along her scalp and eventually begin to roll down her neck and back.

She smoked two cigarettes in the hopes that the nicotine would calm her nerves, but it didn't. Just as she was considering going back into the air conditioned comfort of the airport terminal, Rose arrived.

"You look awful."

Bella rolled her eyes. Yes, this was definitely going to be more difficult than it had been with James. "Thanks, Rose."

"I'm sorry, it's just well, you better tell me what's going on." Rosalie's voice took on the elder sister tone that Bella had hated so much growing up.

"Nothing's going on. I told you, my editor called and needed me back. James stayed in Chicago for his sister's wedding," Bella said, looking down at her feet as she spoke, praying that her sister would believe her.

"Bullshit," Rosalie said simply.

Bella sighed, exasperated by her sister's infallible ability to tell when she was lying. "Look," her voice broke and tears began to flow freely down her cheeks. "I just need you to leave it at that, okay. I'm fine. Or, at least I will be. James is fine. I just needed to get away."

Rosalie eyed her little sister, eyebrow raised. "Okay, Bella. It's okay. Don't cry. I wasn't trying to upset you, I just wanted to know what's going on." Her tone was much softer now, and she reached out with one hand and squeezed Bella's hand. "You know I'm here for you though, right? You can tell me, whatever this is. You can tell me, and we'll fix it together."

Bella gave her sister a watery smile but her tears were too thick to allow her to speak, so instead she nodded, feeling very grateful for her sister.

Rosalie dropped Bella off at home and left, but not before extracting a promise from Bella that the two girls would talk later.

Once inside and alone again, Bella collapsed on the sofa in the front room, no longer able to stem the tide of desperate and desolate tears that coursed down her cheeks. She buried her face in a pillow and let the sobs that she had been fighting so hard against wrack her body. Finally, when she had no more tears to cry, she slipped into unconsciousness, her chest still shuddering occasionally with tortured sobs.

When she awoke later, the room was pitch black. In her physical and emotional exhaustion, she had slept through the entire day and darkness had fallen. She sat straight up and looked frantically around the room, trying to find the source of what had awoken her. Her heart was pounding and her breathing shallow. She heard the noise again. It was a low knock on the door.

She rose awkwardly from the couch, her limbs tingling from disuse. She was irrationally afraid of who was on the other side of the door. Standing on her toes, she peeked through the peephole before opening the door.

"I didn't have my key," James said by way of greeting, pushing past her with his luggage.

"Why are you home?" she asked, still too much asleep to bother with pleasantries.

He dropped his bag and turned to face her. He smiled, but something in his eyes flashed and caused Bella to hold her breath. "Well, after the wedding, I realized how much I missed you, so I caught an earlier flight."

After the wedding. So that was it. Edward had married Tanya. Bella felt inexplicable sadness at this news, and instantly berated herself. She had no reason to feel anything but happy for Edward and Tanya. Obviously, whatever it was that had occurred in the small classroom the day before had been a mistake. She knew it, and clearly Edward now knew it.

James crossed the room to her and swept her up in a hug. "I missed you," he whispered in her ear. He began kissing along her neck and ear.

A wave of nausea washed over Bella and she pushed him back with arms that felt too feeble to make much of an impact. He did take the hint though, and pulled away from her.

"What's wrong, love?"

Love? She couldn't remember the last time he had called her that. She was caught off guard by his sudden affection. "Um," she stumbled, "I don't feel well. I think I may have caught a bug or something on the plane. I think I'm just going to go to bed."

He eyed her suspiciously for a moment, and she couldn't help but blush under his scrutiny. Finally, he nodded and released her. "Okay, baby. You go to bed. I'll just get cleaned up."

Relief flooded through her. She started for the bedroom, but his next words stopped her dead in her tracks.

"I called your editor on my way home from the airport."

She closed her eyes and leaned against the door frame, no longer able to support her own weight. Words failed her, but luckily, or unluckily for her, James didn't need her to speak.

"Funny thing. He had no idea what I was talking about when I mentioned the article with the crazy deadline. Isn't that weird? Wouldn't you think he'd know all about the reason that you just had to come home from Chicago early?"

Suddenly, she was angry at him for checking up on her. She had never given him one reason to doubt her, and even after all of what had happened in Chicago, she still hadn't done anything wrong. As she turned, she gasped. Where, only a moment ago, he had been standing across the room, he was now right beside her, his breathing heavy and a look in his eyes that made her heart stop. Bella had never been afraid of James, but as he towered over her now, nostrils flared, eyes crazed, she was afraid of him.

"I know," he breathed and his words were like ice down her spine.

Bella opened her mouth to speak, but no words would come out. Was he going to hit her? She honestly thought he might.

"I know," he repeated. "But it doesn't matter now. He married her, and you'll never see him again."

"I didn't do anything, James. I swear," Bella finally choked out, her voice shaking.

His response was a harsh, bitter laugh. "Yeah, right," he said, shaking his head, eyes crinkling with cruel laughter. "Well, it doesn't matter anymore. He's married now."

Bella shook her head, mustering up her last ounce of defiance and strength. "Fine. You're right, it doesn't matter, James, because I never did anything. I'm not going to allow you to treat me like this because of what you think I did. I did nothing wrong."

"You lied!" he bellowed, his face twisting in rage as he moved to tower over her again, using his height and size to make her feel small and vulnerable. His voice rang in her ears and she cowered against the wall.

After a moment, she found her voice again. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, James, but I'm not going to stay here with you when you're like this." She grabbed the bag she had dropped inside the door when she had arrived from the airport and headed for the garage. James caught her by the wrist and whirled her around. She cried out in pain and tried to wrench her wrist away.

At the sound of her cry, James dropped her wrist as if he'd been electrocuted. "I—I'm sorry, Bella. Please don't leave. I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me. You know I'd never hurt you."

Bella narrowed her eyes at him and shook her head, adrenaline making her brave. "No, James. I don't know that you'd never hurt me. You just did." She held her now-tender wrist out to him. "I can't be here right now." She turned on her heel and continued, unimpeded to the garage. She threw her bag in the back of her truck and raced out of the garage.

Once out of the house, the adrenaline began to wear off and tears began coursing down her cheeks. Her breath would only come in huge gasps as she drove through the dark streets towards Rose's house. By the time she pulled into Rosalie's driveway, she was shaking. She didn't even have the strength to get her bag out of the backseat. She ran headlong to Rose's door, pounding on it relentlessly as the tears ran down her cheeks.

"Bella!" It was Emmett who answered the door. He took one look at her and turned back toward the house. "Rose, come quick!"

Rosalie and Emmett helped Bella into the house and into a chair at the kitchen table. Bella was sobbing uncontrollably and Rose and Emmett kept glancing nervously at each other.

"What happened?" Rosalie pressed, holding both of Bella's shaking hands in her own.

Bella managed to get one word out before collapsing in a fit of sobs. "James."

Emmett cursed loudly and Rose closed her eyes.

"Did he hit you, honey?"

Bella shook her head and began to attempt to take deep breaths to calm herself down. She knew things were only going to get worse if she didn't explain the whole story to them. So, as much as she didn't want to talk about any of it, as much as she wanted to bury her head in the sand, Bella began to speak to her sister and brother-in-law. She told them everything. About meeting Edward, about the weird attraction they felt for one another, about his confession to her in the dark room of the church during the rehearsal dinner, about the true reason for her abrupt departure from Chicago, about James' reappearance and threats, and about how much she had feared him in those moments.

Rosalie and Emmett said nothing during her entire story. Rose just rubbed Bella's back soothingly while Emmett paced around like a caged lion behind the two women.

"But none of it matters now. They were married this morning. So now, I've lost him, and James is mad at me. Well, Edward was never really mine to begin with," Bella finished, glancing guiltily down at her shoes.

"Oh, Bella," Rosalie whispered, gathering her sister up in her warm embrace. "It's going to be okay. You didn't do anything wrong."

Emmett retrieved Bella's bag from her car, and Rosalie helped her get set up in their guest room. Bella gathered her things and took a long hot shower, letting the steam and the hot water relax her coiled muscles. The shower couldn't help her tightly wound mind, however. It was still racing, even as she laid in bed, physically and emotionally exhausted.

Her phone rang three times that night. Each time it was James, and each time he left a voicemail. Finally, Bella shut her phone off and attempted to sleep. It wasn't James' face who appeared when she closed her eyes, though. It was the devastatingly beautiful face of the man who was now married to James' sister.


	12. Ch 11: Family Ties & Illegal Activities

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 11: Family Ties and Illegal Activities

Edward awoke with a start. He hadn't even realized he'd fallen asleep. He looked over in confusion at the hand that was on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to frighten you. I just need you to put your seatbelt on. We're beginning our descent into Phoenix now."

He nodded and complied with the flight attendant's request, his heart dropping into his stomach. It had not escaped his attention that he had fled from Chicago to Phoenix with literally no idea how to find Bella. He had no way to contact her. The only person he knew with access to Bella's number was Tanya, and he certainly couldn't ask her for it.

He disembarked from the plane, gathered his bag, and stepped out into the stifling heat to hail a cab. His plan was to get set up in a hotel. The cab driver recommended one and then drove him there. Edward reserved a room for two nights, although in reality, he wasn't sure how long he would be in Phoenix. At least he didn't have to worry about his job at the hospital, as he was supposed to be on his honeymoon for the next two weeks.

His stomach clenched at the thought of spending two weeks finding Bella. But as he sat on the bed in the cool, dark hotel room, he realized it might take that long, if not longer.

He grabbed the phone book and looked up the name Swan. There was no Bella Swan listed. That did not surprise him. He assumed, since she lived with James, the phone would probably be in his name. He cursed himself as he realized that he didn't know James' last name. It was different from Tanya's, as they had different fathers. He pulled out his phone and dialed directory assistance, but that yielded no results either.

He cursed himself under his breath and flopped back on the bed, frustrated and discouraged. It wasn't as if he could just walk down the street calling her name. Phoenix was massive, not to mention sweltering.

Feeling like there was nothing else for him to do at the moment, he settled on a shower, and then headed down to the hotel's in-house restaurant. As he was picking apart a sandwich, his phone rang. He groaned as he glanced at the caller ID. He'd been dreading this phone call all day.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" his sister, Alice's shrill voice broke through the line before he could even say hello.

"Hello, Alice," he said dryly.

"I'm serious. Where the hell are you? What's going on? Was your phone off earlier? I've been trying to call you all day!"

"Calm down. I'm fine. I'm in Phoenix. My phone was off during the flight."

"Why are you in Phoenix? You're supposed to be married right now. You just take off and leave your own wedding without so much as a word to any of us? I've been trying to console mom all day. You are in so much trouble, Edward!"

Edward sighed and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand. He knew there was no reasoning with his sister when she got like this. He waited for her to be done. When it was clear that she had said all she was going to say for a moment, he proceeded. "Alice, I can't really explain it over the phone. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't marry her." His voice broke on the last word and he expected to hear his sister's angry voice. He was surprised by the silence on the other end of the phone.

"Okay, Edward. You did the right thing."

He was too stunned to speak for a moment.

"Are you there? Hello?"

"Yeah, I'm here. I just...I don't know. I didn't expect you to say that," he finally managed.

"Why?"

"Because you've known Tanya forever. I mean, honestly, that's half the reason I proposed to her, because I knew it was what everyone in the family expected me to do."

It was Alice's turn to be silent for a moment. When she finally did speak, her tone was sad. "Edward, I'm sorry that our family made you feel like you had no choice but to marry Tanya, but we all just want you to be happy."

"Thanks, Alice. I'm touched. So, are Mom and Dad upset?"

"No, no one is mad. We're just all concerned. Are you going to tell me what the hell you're doing in Phoenix?"

Edward took a deep breath, looking around the restaurant. He really didn't want to have this discussion here, but he knew his sister deserved to know the truth. So he told her. He started from the first day he'd met Bella in the emergency room, and ended with what he'd said to her during the rehearsal dinner. When he finished his story, he let out a huge sigh. Despite how much pain he was in, it felt good to get it out. He knew he could trust Alice.

"And so she's Tanya's brother's girlfriend?" Alice asked, the wonder evident in her voice.

"Yup."

"Okay. So what's your plan now? You're in Phoenix, have you spoken to her yet? Does she know you're there?" Alice asked, and Edward couldn't help but smile at her quick acceptance of the situation.

"No. She doesn't know I'm here. I have no idea how to find her, Alice," he admitted sheepishly.

"You left your fiancé and flew across the country without any way to get in touch with this girl?" Alice was shouting now, and Edward cringed.

"Come on, Alice. I know I've screwed everything up. I don't need you to remind me of that. How was I supposed to get her number, ask Tanya?"

"Okay, okay. Sorry. Alright, tell me everything you know about her, and I'll see what I can find out." Alice's tone was all business, and Edward grinned at her tenacity. If anyone could help him in this impossible situation, it was his sister. He told her all the details about Bella he could remember, which were shockingly few, and she promised to call him back as soon as possible.

He hung up the phone and headed back up to his room, tired and depressed about the impossibility of finding Bella. He spent the evening flipping mindlessly through channels on the hotel's television. He felt restless and helpless just sitting in his room, but he didn't know what else to do. He had no idea how to find her in the sprawling metropolis that was Phoenix.

He had just started drifting off to sleep when his phone rang, startling him into consciousness again. It was Alice.

"Hi Alice," he yawned.

"Edward, did you say you treated her in the hospital?" she asked by way of greeting.

"Yes, before I knew who James was. Their first day in Chicago." He was confused by her question. They had gone over all this before.

"Okay, so all you have to do is get a hold of her medical records from the hospital. It'll have all her contact information on it."

He sat in stunned silence for a moment before breaking into a huge grin. "Alice, you are a genius. Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

"Yeah, yeah. I know. Just don't get caught. I'm pretty sure stealing medical records is illegal, and I won't bail you out of jail. Plus mom will be pissed."

He laughed a real, genuine laugh and thanked her before hanging up the phone. Wide awake now, he found the number he was looking for and pressed send, hoping that the recipient would pick up. He grinned again when he heard the call connect.

"Hello?"

"Eric. How are you, buddy?" Edward said, still smiling at the sound of his colleague Eric Yorkie's voice.

"Edward, is that you? Why are you calling me? What the hell happened? I went to attend your wedding today, but you weren't there."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry about that. I'll explain later. Listen, I need you to do me a favor. Are you on shift tonight?"

"Yeah..." Eric trailed off, confusion evident in his voice.

"Fantastic. Listen, I need you to get the medical records of a patient of mine and fax them to me. I'll give you the number." Edward looked down at the hotel stationary and grinned when he saw the hotel's fax number listed at the top.

"I'm sorry what? For a minute there I thought you asked me to fax you a patient's medical information, but that couldn't be what you asked for, because that's illegal."

There were times when Edward really valued his friend and colleague's sense of humor, but this night definitely wasn't one of them.

"Look, I know what I'm asking is bad, and I wouldn't ask it if it weren't really important." Edward paused and then let every ounce of desperation and despair saturate his next word. "Please?"

He heard Eric sigh deeply on the other end of the phone before he muttered, "Fine. But I swear, if I get caught, I'm taking you down with me. Okay, who's the patient?"

"Thanks man, I owe you big time, seriously. Okay, it's for Bella Swan. I saw her for a sprained ankle about two weeks ago."

"Uh huh. Tell me one thing, Edward. Does this patient have anything to do with why your wedding didn't happen today?"

Edward sighed but didn't answer.

"Ok, that's all the answer I need. So when I find this Bella Swan's records, where do I send them?" Eric asked.

Edward gave Eric the fax number, hung up, and raced down to the lobby to wait for the fax.

It seemed like it took forever for Eric's fax to come through, and Edward was fairly certain the hotel receptionist was ready to strangle him by the time the fax finally arrived. But none of that mattered anymore when he finally had the piece of paper in his hands. He beamed down at the address that he was sure held the key to his happiness. He glanced down at his watch. He wondered if it was it too late to go now? No, thankfully he still had enough time, if he hurried.

He rushed out to the street, casting his eyes around for a taxi, before remembering that he was in Phoenix, not Chicago. Cabs were scarce. He made a mental note that he was going to have to look into renting a car if he was going to be there much longer, and he hoped he was going to be there much longer. He hurried back inside and asked the already harried receptionist to call a taxi for him. She did, with only minimal eye rolling, and soon enough Edward was sitting in the back of a cab, Bella's address firmly in hand.

He felt the breath leave his body when the cab finally pulled up in front of the address on the paper. This was it. This was Bella's house. He felt sure she was inside. All he had to do was get out of the car and walk up to the door. In his mind, he could picture her opening it, a small, surprised smile on her face when she saw him. He would explain everything to her, they would talk, and she would see that they could be together now that he had broken off the wedding with Tanya. He felt sure Bella would realize that she didn't belong with James. He just knew that somehow, despite the way that they had left things in Chicago, things would work out. He would make her see that they belonged together; that the attraction they both felt was too strong to be ignored.

These were the thoughts that filled his mind as he made his way to her door. Because of these thoughts, he was completely taken aback by the person on the other side of the door when it swung open.

Edward's mouth fell open as he stared into James' face. James' eyes grew wide as he took in Edward's form on his doorstep.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" James hissed.

"Uh, I-" Edward stumbled, completely caught off guard by James' presence. "How did you get back here? You were just in Chicago this morning?" he asked stupidly.

James' smile was menacing. "I could ask you the same thing, Edward." His mouth curled into a sneer as he pronounced his name, and Edward knew immediately that James knew. "It's not enough that you call off the wedding and break my sister's heart? Now you're here to steal my girlfriend too?"

"Look, James, it's not like that. Nothing happened—" Edward began, but James cut him off with a harsh laugh.

"Yeah, that's what she said too, when she was begging me to forgive her and to take her back."

At his words, Edward felt his heart sink. So she really didn't want him. It didn't matter that he'd flown half way across the country to find her. It didn't matter that he felt this undeniable pull toward her. It didn't matter that she was all he could think about. She didn't want him. "Is she here?" he asked quietly.

James sneered again. "Yeah, she's sleeping. She was pretty upset from this whole ordeal. I'm not going to wake her after all you've put her through." Seeing the expression on Edward's face, James moved in for the kill. "She kept telling me over and over again that it was a mistake; that she didn't mean to get involved with you. You should have seen how she begged and pleaded with me not to cut her loose. Lucky for her, I'm pretty fond of her."

Edward dropped his eyes to the ground and worked hard to control his breathing.

James pushed on, relentlessly. "I don't know what you thought she felt for you, man, but you might as well just go home. It's over."

Defeated, Edward nodded before turning to walk away. When he was about halfway down the walk, he paused and turned back. "For what it's worth, James, I'm sorry for all the trouble this has caused; for both you and Tanya. I never meant for anyone to get hurt."

In response, James rolled his eyes and shut the door.

In a daze Edward began walking down Bella's street. The taxi had already left, and he knew he should call another one to take him back to the hotel, but he couldn't bring himself to care enough to dig his phone out of his pocket. He walked aimlessly through the neighborhood, not knowing, or even caring where he was headed. Before long, he was drenched in sweat from the stifling summer heat that never seemed to relent, even after the sun went down.

He sat down on a large rock in someone's front yard and buried his head in his hands, unable to fight against the grief that threatened to crush him. He wasn't sure how long he sat there, ignoring his surroundings, even as his phone buzzed repeatedly in his pocket. He couldn't handle anymore. He couldn't face the fact that he had completely ruined his life for nothing.

Finally, he pulled his phone from his pocket. All of the missed calls were from Alice. As much as he wanted to avoid her, he knew he couldn't. He pressed a button and held the phone to his ear. She answered quickly, but he ignored her questions.

"It's over. I'm coming home," he whispered roughly before snapping the phone shut.


	13. Ch 12: Fresh Starts & Second Chances

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 12: Fresh Starts and Second Chances

Sometimes it was hard to believe that she'd managed to make it through the past three months. But as Bella sat at her desk in the small second bedroom she'd converted to an office in her apartment, she stared at the calendar. It had been three months to the day since she had told James that it was over.

Rose and Emmett had helped her move her things from James' house to her very own two bedroom apartment. It was the first time Bella had lived on her own. She'd gone from living with her parents, to living with roommates in college, to living with James. For the first two weeks she had been terrified, hardly sleeping through the night, but she had slowly realized how much she enjoyed the freedom of having her own place and making her own decisions.

She still chose not to smoke inside, but she didn't have to hide it as she smoked out on her balcony during the balmy Phoenix nights. She had immersed herself in her writing and was getting more acceptances than ever before. Her usual magazines that she wrote for were requesting more and more articles from her, and it felt great to be doing the work that she loved.

Sometimes, when it was late at night and she was alone, she would think back to her last night with James. She'd think of the fire in his eyes and the acid in his voice the next day when she'd told him it was over.

"I already told you, he married my sister," he had hissed, his voice strangely panicked.

"It's not about him, James. Things haven't been right with us for a while," she had tried to explain. "I need to be on my own. It's not working anymore."

"You'll change your mind, Bella. I know you will. You're making a mistake. You better just hope that I'm willing to take you back once you've realized what a huge mistake you've made." His voice had been like ice and had sent chills up and down her spine. Not because she had thought that he was right and she would change her mind, but because it had taken her so long to realize who James really was.

James, of course, had caused a scene. He'd showed up at Rosalie's house, yelling and shouting for Bella to come home. Bella had huddled inside with Rose as Emmett had cracked his knuckles and rolled his massive shoulders before stepping outside to handle James. Despite the huge size difference between the two men, it had very nearly come to blows. After that, Bella had changed her cell phone number, and hadn't seen or heard from him since. She had thought briefly that she might have to take out a restraining order against him, but after showing up at Emmett's house a few more times and being quickly shut down in his attempts to get Emmett or Rosalie to give him information on Bella's whereabouts, he eventually gave up.

Things were definitely better for Bella, but that didn't mean that she never thought about Edward. Occasionally, she would lie in bed and allow herself to remember him and to think about what could have been. She'd close her eyes, and his face would appear. In her mine, he was smiling his crooked smile at her, his green eyes crinkling at the corners. She'd smile as in her mind's eye she'd watch him run a hand through his unruly bronze hair.

She thought about what he might be doing now that he was married. She wondered if he was happy with Tanya. She'd long ago decided that he had obviously realized that he had made a mistake that night in the tiny room of the church. He'd obviously decided that he'd been wrong about whatever the strange chemistry the two of them felt, since he'd married Tanya.

Bella also decided that she'd been wrong before when she'd assumed that she and Edward were in similar situations. Edward had made a mistake. He and Tanya had a long history together, however bumpy, and he obviously loved Tanya very much. It pained Bella to realize that Edward was probably relieved that she had told him no and ran out of the room that night.

During her darkest nights, she'd even allow herself to wonder what it would have been like if on that fateful night she'd said yes instead of no. But that line of thinking was too painful, and Bella was determined to focus only on things that made her happy in her new life post-James.

It was from this train of thought that Bella was pulled as her phone rang insistently that afternoon. Internally chastising herself for her wayward thoughts, she shook her head as if to clear the mental cobwebs, and answered the phone.

"Bella, how are you?"

She recognized the voice of Peter, the editor of one of the magazines she was now regularly writing for.

"Hi, Peter. I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm doing well. Listen, we're sending some of our columnists to attend the American Non-fiction Writers Convention. One of them had a family emergency, and had to cancel at the last minute. I thought maybe you'd be interested in taking her place."

"Oh, wow. I'd be honored, Peter. Thank you for thinking of me."

"Great. Listen, it's sort of short notice. The team is scheduled to fly out this afternoon. Is that going to be a problem?"

"No, don't think so," Bella answered, suddenly excited by the prospect of attending a professional conference with a group of her colleagues. She had a couple of other articles that she was currently working on, but nothing that couldn't be postponed a few days.

"Great, here's Mike Newton's number. He's heading up the group. Give him a call and he'll let you know the details of where to meet them. I hope you have a great time, Bella."

Bella wrote down the number, thanked the editor and hung up. She squealed as she jumped up from her desk and retrieved her suitcase. She checked the number Peter had given her and dialed carefully as she tossed her empty suitcase onto her bed. The phone rang twice before it was picked up by Mike Newton.

"Hello, Mike, this is Bella Swan. I've been asked to take the place of the columnist who couldn't make it. Peter gave me your number and told me to call you to get the trip itinerary." As she spoke, Bella was pulling items off hangers and folding them haphazardly before tossing them into her suitcase.

"Oh, yeah, Peter mentioned that you'd probably be calling. The group is meeting on the north side of terminal four in an hour. Can you make it?" Mike seemed casual and friendly, and Bella found herself looking forward to the trip more and more with each passing moment.

"Absolutely. I'll be there. See you soon." They hung up and Bella immediately dialed Rosalie.

"Rose, I've just gotten the opportunity to attend a professional conference, can you believe it?" she asked when Rose picked up the phone.

"Oh Bella, that's great! Where is the conference being held?"

Bella furrowed her brow as she realized that Peter had not mentioned the city, and she had not thought to ask. "Um, actually, I'm not sure. There was a last minute cancellation, and that's why they asked me to go, so I didn't have time to get a lot of details. I have to be to the airport in an hour. Can you give me a ride?"

"Of course. I'll be there in twenty minutes. Do you have everything you need?"

Bella assured her sister that she would be fine, and hung up the phone to finish running around her apartment, frantically packing.

When Rose rang Bella's doorbell fifteen minutes later, she was armed with three business suits wrapped in plastic. When Bella tried to protest, she simply held up her hand and said, "Oh, come on. I am not going to wear them anymore. Someone should get some use out of them."

Bella thanked her sister and placed them carefully across the top of her suitcase. She had to admit they probably would be more appropriate to wear to the conference than anything she owned. That was one of the downfalls of being a free lance writer. Her home office had a slightly more casual dress code than most corporate offices.

Soon, the two sisters were speeding toward the airport with Bella's suitcase safely stowed in Rose's trunk. Rose dropped Bella off on the north side of terminal four, and made Bella promise to call her the moment they checked into their hotel that night.

As Bella waved goodbye to her sister, she began to look around for the group she was to meet. After looking around for a moment, she was approached by a short woman with curly brown hair and a large smile.

"Are you by any chance Bella Swan?"

"Yes, I am," Bella smiled, relieved.

The woman stuck her hand out. Her hand was adorned with long red fingernails and several bangle bracelets that clanged together when she moved her arm. "I'm Jessica Stanley. It's great that you could come with us." The woman turned and called over her shoulder to a blonde man standing a short distance away chatting to someone else. "Hey, Mike, this is Bella."

Mike excused himself from his conversation and made his way over to Bella and Jessica.

"Bella, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm glad you made it." His smile was warm and he took Bella's hand in both of his.

She smiled back and nodded. "Thanks. I'm really excited that I've been given this opportunity." She thought of something and turned back to Mike. "I was in such a rush to get ready, I forgot to ask Peter where the conference was being held."

"It's in Chicago this year," Jessica answered, stepping in between Bella and Mike again. She smiled at Bella for a moment before furrowing her brow. "Bella, are you okay? You look a little pale."

"What? Oh, yes. I'm fine. Sorry. It's just a little warm out here," Bella said, fighting to recover the breath that had left her lungs in a whoosh.

Mike had returned to Bella's side and was looking at her with a concerned expression. "Well, let's get inside. I think everyone's here now." He put his hand reassuringly on Bella's back, and she allowed herself to be steered inside. She didn't notice the sour expression on Jessica's face as she trailed behind the two of them.

Bella felt like all rational thought had left right along with her supply of oxygen. She was in a haze as the group checked in their bags and obtained their boarding passes. Before she knew it, they were seated on the plane, and the flight attendant was directing their attention to the safety demonstration video.

Instead of watching, Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath, resting her head against the back of her seat. In the part of her brain responsible for rational thought, she knew she was being absurd. Chicago was a huge city. What were the chances that she would run into him? Slim to none, she realized. What frightened her was how much she wanted to run into him. She shouldn't want that. It didn't matter that she was now free and happier than she ever remembered being before. He was married.

The flight passed agonizingly slow, although Bella couldn't put her finger on exactly why she was so anxious for the plane to land in Chicago. She spend the majority of the time convincing herself that she needed to pretend that this conference was being held in any other city than the one he was in. For all she knew, he and Tanya didn't even live there anymore.

Mike had somehow managed to seat himself right next to Bella, and he tried to make small talk with her throughout the flight. She tried desperately to pay attention and to make the appropriate responses, but by the time the plane landed, she wasn't sure how well she'd done. Several times Mike and given her a curious look and asked her if she was sure she was okay.

For all of her attempts at being brave and remaining calm, she still felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach as the captain announced their descent into Chicago.

She berated herself when, as they walked through the airport, her heart stopped several times when she thought she caught sight of a familiar bronze head. They had to wait for their baggage at the luggage carousel for what felt like hours, and Bella was sure she was going to have a nervous breakdown before they finally climbed aboard the shuttle that took them to their hotel.

Once everyone had checked in at the hotel, Bella finally found herself alone in her room. She silently thanked Peter for not making them all share rooms. She really needed the time alone.

As she placed her things in the drawers of the hotel dresser and hung up Rose's suits in the little closet, she pulled out her cell phone and called her sister as she had promised.

"So, where are you, Bella?" Rose asked.

"Chicago," Bella answered, wondering if her voice sounded as nervous as she felt.

"Oh," Rose said. "Well, it's a big city, Bella. I'm sure you'll be fine."

Bella was about to agree with her when she heard a knock at the door. Her heart jumped and she cursed her stupidity. She told Rose that she would call her later and walked to the door and swung it open.

Of course it was Mike. He grinned at her as he leaned against the doorframe.

"Hey, getting all settled in?"

She smiled back and nodded.

"Good. Listen, are you hungry? A bunch of us are going to this restaurant the concierge service recommended. It's just down the street so we're going to walk. We'd love it if you came." He smiled at her, and she couldn't help but smile back at him. He was good looking in a baby-faced, boyish good looks kind of way.

For a moment, she debated hiding in her room for the rest of the night and ordering room service. But then, she realized that this was her first time in a new city on her own. She was an adult, and she was out on her own. It shouldn't matter what ghosts this town held for her. She should be able to go out and enjoy herself with her colleagues. Besides, she didn't know if she could handle the disappointed look she was sure would appear on Mike's face if she turned him down.

"Okay, just give me a few minutes to get cleaned up, and I'll meet you guys in the lobby."

Mike grinned at her, and she couldn't help but chuckle at his enthusiasm as she shut the door and gathered her clothes together. She decided on a pair of boot-cut jeans and a long-sleeved tan shirt. It was definitely cooler here than in Phoenix, and she was glad she had decided to pack warmer clothing. She brushed her hair and decided to pull it up into a pony tail. She finished her outfit with a pair of wedge heeled strappy sandals. The jeans covered most of them, but she loved the way her toes peeked out of the ends of them.

In the lobby, most of the group was already assembled. Mike's face lit up as she exited the elevator, and Bella couldn't help but blush. She felt nothing for him, but she would have been lying if she said that the attention she received from him didn't do wonders for her self-esteem.

After the rest of their party arrived, the group headed out the hotel lobby and down the street toward the restaurant. Bella immediately regretted her choice of shoes. She hadn't considered the fact that they'd be walking to their destination. Twice on the way there she had stumbled and caught herself before falling. Mike had eyed her skeptically and seemed to make a point of staying right by her side.

She managed to arrive safely, and dinner was delicious. Bella found herself feeling more than a little fuzzy from the wine that had flowed freely around the table. She laughed a little louder, and she felt a little warmer. Overall, it was a great feeling. She was thoroughly enjoying the fact that she was in a city away from home with people she was really beginning to like. She was on her own, and she felt carefree and wonderful.

It was very late when the party finally headed back to the hotel. The group was much more lively and boisterous on their return trip. Friendships had been forged over good food and good wine, and laughter rang throughout the group.

Bella was laughing at something hilarious that Mike had said. She turned to tell him just how funny she thought he was, when she felt the toe of her shoe catch on an uneven piece of concrete. She reached her arms out to catch herself, but it was too late. She cried out as she felt her ankle wrench in an unnatural direction, and she went down on the pavement, hard.

"Bella!" Mike called out, rushing to her side. "Are you okay?"

"Ow," she said simply, a little stunned as she sat on the sidewalk, the pain cutting through the warm buzz she had felt only moments before.

Mike reached around her and pulled her up. "Are you alright? Can you walk?"

She didn't answer, but instead held her injured ankle out, preparing to put weight on it. Even in her slightly inebriated state, it did not escape her notice that it was the very same ankle she had injured on her last trip to Chicago.

She cried out in pain as she attempted to put pressure on her ankle. "Oh! I can't walk."

"Okay. It's okay, Bella. We'll get you to a hospital," Mike said, supporting her weight with his shoulder.

"No! No hospital," Bella cried, the tears already streaming down her cheeks. She wasn't exactly sure whether the tears were from the pain, or from the thought of running into someone she didn't want to see; and at that moment, she most assuredly did not want to see him.

"Don't be silly, Bella. We'll get you to a hospital before you make it any worse by walking around on it." As he spoke, Mike held out an arm and hailed a cab. One promptly stopped in front of them, and he began to guide a still protesting Bella to it.

"I'm going to take Bella to the emergency room. The rest of you can go back to the hotel. We'll catch up with you guys later." He assisted Bella into the cab and asked the driver to take them to the closest hospital.

Beside him, Bella silently prayed that there were many different hospitals in Chicago, and that the cab driver would take her to any other hospital than the one where Edward worked. She tried to determine where they were, but her knowledge of Chicago landmarks was too limited for her to tell. She was at the cab driver's mercy.

The waiting room was nearly full, and they waited for almost two hours. While they waited, Bella looked around, wracking her brain trying to remember if this was the same hospital James had brought her to almost four months ago. She didn't think that it was, but she couldn't be sure. Hospitals all looked the same as far as she was concerned.

Finally, they were led into an exam room where they waited another forty-five minutes. Bella laid back on the exam table, propping her ankle up on her other leg. She closed her eyes. The wine and the strain of worrying about who she might or might not run into were making her sleepy.

She had just started to drift off to sleep, when the sound of the curtain being pulled back abruptly woke her up.

He was staring at a clipboard as he walked into the room. His tone was polite but distracted. "Good evening. So sorry for the wait Ms.—" His words cut off abruptly, and he finally raised his head. For the second time that day, Bella felt the breath leave her chest in a rush as she found herself gazing into the green eyes that had haunted her for the past three months.


	14. Ch 13: Graveyard Shifts & Coincidences

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 13: Graveyard Shifts and Coincidences

He sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face as he gazed at the chart that he was attempting to put notes on. He tried to focus on the information that the triage nurse had scribbled down, and remember what he had just told the patient, but his head was pounding too hard. He was still hung over from the night before. Or was it the day before? He had just begun the graveyard shift, but was having a hard time keeping his days and nights straight lately. It had been that way ever since his return from Phoenix.

He tried not to think about the ill fated trip he had taken three months ago. Since returning home, he'd tried unsuccessfully to submerge himself in his work, but most of the time he just floated aimlessly between day and night, concentrating as much as he could at work, and doing whatever he could to lose himself in between shifts. He drank heavily and smoked even more.

When he'd returned from Arizona, he'd moved his things out of Tanya's house and taken a small apartment close to the hospital. It wasn't much: one bedroom and sparsely furnished. He hadn't wanted to fight with Tanya over their joint possessions and the furniture, so he'd let her have almost everything. He had no desire to purchase more furniture, so that left him with a tiny, depressing apartment that he spent as little time in as possible.

There were many sleepless nights, and when he worked nights, there were sleepless days. It didn't seem to matter what he did, or how much alcohol he consumed, her face still appeared behind his eyes when he closed them. He often wondered what she was doing. He wondered if she was truly happy with James. He thought back to the last time he had seen her: in the basement of the church. He pictured her beautiful face—her warm chocolate brown eyes and her full pink lips. Sometimes, when he'd had a lot to drink, he allowed himself to imagine what it would be like if things had turned out differently. He thought about what it would be like if she were there with him instead of with James in Phoenix. Those musings inevitably brought him more pain, and he was forced to attempt to drown those thoughts out with even more alcohol.

Despite the unending hell that was now his life, he couldn't bring himself to regret the decision he'd made to leave Tanya. He knew now, looking back on his life with her, that it wouldn't have been fair to either of them if he'd married her. Their relationship had run its course, and he had been forcing it, thinking marriage would bring them closer together. With or without Bella, he and Tanya could never have been happy.

Thinking about Bella was painful. Even thinking her name caused an inescapable ache. He tried to avoid it as much as possible. It was only in the last few weeks that he felt like he might possibly be able to come out from under the crushing weight that had become his solitary and lonely existence. Things weren't any easier, and he didn't think about her any less, but he was beginning to reconcile himself with the fact that she was gone. Bella had come into his life like some sort of unattainable dream. He had wanted that dream. He had wanted it more than anything he'd ever wanted before. But fate was cruel, and it was not to be. He would always hold on to the dream of her, even though Bella would never be his. He pushed his thoughts aside when he heard the nurse calling his name.

"Dr. Cullen, you have a phone call on line three."

Alice didn't wait for Edward to greet her when he picked up the phone. "Where the hell have you been?" she demanded as he put the receiver to his ear.

He grimaced. He avoided her calls as much as possible, but it was more difficult to screen them when he was at the hospital. He felt sure that Alice knew this.

He closed his eyes and sighed. "I've been at work, Alice. That's where I am now. I'm working. What do you need?" He tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice, but his impatience slipped through.

"Edward, I haven't seen you in weeks. Are you alright? What's going on?"

"I've been busy," he began, but she cut him off.

"Edward Anthony, you have not been so busy that you can ignore your only sister. I haven't seen you in weeks. Jasper and I are worried about you. Not to mention Mom and Dad. You're killing them, Edward. Killing them. Is that what you want? You are coming for dinner tomorrow night. I will not take no for an answer. Be here at six and bring wine, and not the cheap stuff either. Good wine." With that, she hung up, and Edward chuckled and shook his head in spite of himself as he replaced the receiver.

He would go to his sister's house for dinner. Partly because she would not allow him to get out of it, but also because he had to admit that he missed her. In the back of his mind, he knew that his life could not continue on like this forever. He just didn't know what to do about it. Maybe going to his sister's house would help. She'd help him escape the reality of his life, even for a little while.

Once again, he pushed his troubled thoughts aside as he finished up with one chart and grabbed the chart for his next patient. He began to skim the details of the case as he headed for the exam area. It appeared to be pretty straight forward, and he was glad for that. He still hadn't eaten. Scanning the page, he pushed the curtain back.

"Good evening. So sorry for the wait Ms.—" He lost his ability to speak as his eyes finally fell on the patient's name at the top of the chart. Thinking that it must be some strange coincidence, he managed to drag his eyes from the chart to the girl sitting on the exam table. His eyes widened, and he struggled to keep from dropping the chart as he took in the sweet face that had haunted both his sleeping and waking moments for the past three months. He blinked twice and resisted the urge to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming. Could this be? Was this really Bella sitting here in his hospital, in his emergency room, during his shift, on his rotation?

He could tell from the way the color left her face that she was surprised to see him too. Her already large eyes widened slightly, and she sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth. The sight made Edward's heart ache. He wanted to drop the clipboard and rush to her. He wanted to gather her in his arms and never let her go. He wanted to feel her lips on his. Remembering his last night in Phoenix, he did none of these things. Instead, he gripped the clipboard to keep his hands in place and cleared his throat.

"Bella, what a surprise. How are you?" He worked to keep his voice calm and even. As he watched her duck her head as her cheeks turned pink, he became aware of another presence in the room. The elation he had felt only moments before at seeing Bella again was replaced by dread at the thought of facing James again.

Taking a deep breath, he turned to the room's other occupant. He was surprised, however, to see a strange man standing at Bella's side.

Finally, Bella spoke. "Hello, Edward. It's good to see you." She paused and smiled as she blushed a little deeper. "I've sprained my ankle. Again."

Despite the tumult of thoughts running through his head, Edward couldn't help the smile that spread across his face at the thought of Bella's clumsiness bringing them together again. Was it possible that this was even the same exam room he'd first met her in those few months ago? He wasn't sure, but the coincidence was almost too much. Why was she in Chicago? And where was James? Who was the stranger standing at her side? The questions swirled unanswered around Edward's head. Not exactly knowing how to go about asking any of them, Edward pushed them aside and moved to examine Bella's ankle.

As he reached for a pair of latex gloves, he stopped himself. He knew it was wrong, and he knew he would pay for it later, but he suddenly had the overwhelming urge to feel her skin beneath his fingertips. He set the chart on the counter and moved across the room to the exam table.

When his skin came in contact with hers, Edward's breath caught as the almost electrical pulse he had felt the first time he had touched her flowed freely between them. He glanced up at her and saw her eyes flutter closed. Was it because of the pain, or something more? He couldn't be sure.

"So, what brings you back to Chicago?" he asked, working to keep his voice casual as he probed her ankle and foot.

"Um, I'm attending a journalism conference." Her voice was low and throaty, and her eyes remained closed as he watched her. He clenched his jaw at the sight of her lying on the table, head thrown back, eyes closed. She was just as beautiful as he remembered, if not more so.

From his corner of the room, the man cleared his throat awkwardly. Bella's eyes flew open as if she had only just now remembered his presence.

"Oh, Edward. How rude of me. This is Mike. Mike, this is Edward. Well, Dr. Cullen, I mean." She stumbled over her words as the blush returned again.

Mike nodded but made no move to shake Edward's hand. Edward continued his examination of Bella's ankle without stopping to offer his hand to Mike. Both men eyed the other curiously. Bella offered no further explanation as to the identify of either man.

When he could find no other reason to continue touching Bella's ankle, Edward wrapped up his examination and washed his hands in the small sink.

"Well, I'm sure you already know: it's not broken. I don't suppose you brought the bandage I gave you last time with you?" Edward smiled, his eyes teasing as Bella shook her head. "No, I didn't think so. I'll see if I can find you another one then. I'll also write you a prescription for the pain." As he spoke, he was making notes on her chart. He made an effort to continue writing in order to make his next question appear more casual than it actually was. "How much longer will you be in town?"

If Bella sensed the importance of Edward's question, she didn't let on. "Through this weekend. The conference goes for three days, and we fly out Sunday."

Edward nodded without speaking. He still didn't have the answers to his most important questions. He didn't know where James was, or even who Mike was. His time was almost up. He felt frantic at the thought of letting her walk out of the hospital, not knowing if and when he would see her again. He berated himself for those thoughts. He had no claim to her. She had clearly made her choice three months ago, the last time she was in Chicago.

Reluctantly, he left the examination room to find her a brace for her ankle. As he searched the supply room, he was also searching his brain for a way to get more information from her. By the time he had located the brace and was on his way back to her room, he had made up his mind to just be direct. After all, he had nothing to lose.

He gently helped her fit the brace over her swollen ankle, his heart aching each time she hissed quietly in pain. At one point, she grabbed onto his shoulder for support, her small hand warm on his solid shoulder.

Seeing that they were almost finished, Mike excused himself to go call Bella and himself a cab. Edward seized the opportunity to press Bella for the information he so desperately wanted.

"So, James didn't come with you this trip?" he asked quietly as he filled out the last of her paperwork. He found himself unable to look at her face as he asked this loaded question. But when she didn't answer, he finally raised his eyes.

Her brow was furrowed in confusion. "No. Um, James and I…we aren't together anymore." Her voice was quiet. "I thought Tanya would have mentioned it to you."

Now it was Edward's turn to look at Bella in confusion. "Tanya?" he asked stupidly. For the life of him he couldn't figure out why she thought that Tanya would have told Edward about James and Bella.

Bella smiled. "Well, I guess she's probably been too busy settling into married life to worry about things like that. Congratulations, by the way." Despite her smile, there was a hint of sadness in her voice. The whole exchange mystified Edward, and he continued to stare at her stupidly, unable to speak and unable to process her words. Tanya? Married life? What was she talking about?

When Edward didn't say anything, Bella dropped her eyes to the floor. "It was really nice to see you again, Edward. Thanks for everything."

For a moment, she looked as if she wanted to touch him, or shake his hand, or something, but instead she gave him an awkward little wave and moved toward the exit.

Still stunned by the exchange, Edward mumbled goodbye to her as she hobbled down the hallway towards the emergency room exit. He watched in mute horror as the smooth glass double doors slid open for her. Outside, the sun was just beginning to rise and the early morning rays caught her hair and made it shine like auburn fire as she disappeared around the corner toward the cab that Mike had waiting for her.

Edward followed her, unwilling to watch her walk out of his life for the second time. He wanted to run after her. He wanted to shout and make her stop, but he was so flustered by her words that he could do nothing but watch her, his thoughts racing a mile a minute. What was she talking about? How could she not be with James anymore, after everything that James had told him? Why was she asking about Tanya? Suddenly, it was as if the past three months had never happened. All of the work he'd done to convince himself that he was getting over her and moving on was for nothing.

As he watched her make her way toward the idling cab, his heart felt as raw and as broken as it had that first night in the basement of the church when he'd watched her go. His heart was screaming at him to stop her, but his feet were rooted in place, guilt turning him to stone. She looked so content, how could he go after her and throw her life into chaos again? She didn't deserve that. She deserved to have a happy life, even if it wasn't with him. But could he live without her? His inner turmoil was reaching a boiling point, and he still had no idea what he should do. What right did he have to disrupt her life again? He watched, still unable to speak, as she slammed the door of the cab. And then she was gone, again.


	15. Ch 14: Silk Robes & Bubble Baths

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 14: Silk Robes & Bubble Baths

She felt numb as she sat in the back of the cab. Next to her, Mike's voice droned almost incessantly, but she didn't even pretend to pay attention. She felt like her heart had been ripped out once more. How many times could she live through its utter and complete destruction? Each time, the scar that was left behind was a little bigger. If she was being honest, each time she saw Edward, the piece of her heart that he claimed became larger as well.

"Bella, are you okay, honey? Is your ankle bothering you?" She was pulled from her self-imposed stupor by Mike's hand on her knee. She looked down at it in confusion, unable to imagine what it was doing there, until he assumed she was trying to give him some sort of hint and awkwardly moved it back to his own lap.

"I'm okay, really. I just have a lot on my mind," she said, giving Mike what she hoped was a reassuring smile. In no way did she want his hand on her knee, or for that matter for him to get the idea that there was something more than friendship between the two of them, but she also didn't want to hurt his feelings.

In what felt like no time, they reached the hotel. Both climbed out, and Bella did not protest when Mike offered her his arm and supported her weight as they walked through the lobby. She wasn't sure if she could have made it on her own, between the physical pain in her ankle and the emotional pain in her heart.

"I don't think you should try to make it to the first seminar this morning, Bella. You're exhausted. Just go get some sleep. I'll make an excuse for you. Everyone will understand." Mike said as they rode the elevator up to their floor.

Bella hesitated for a moment before nodding. She hated missing the first meeting of the conference, and she didn't want her co-workers to think she was unreliable, but she was exhausted. The only thing she wanted to do was take some of the pain medicine she had left the hospital with and crawl into bed.

Mike assured her that he would check in on her after the morning sessions of the conference. He encouraged her to sleep, and then order room service so she could stay off her foot as much as possible. Bella smiled at him. He really was a nice guy. She thanked him for all his help, but left him at the door step, in spite of what she thought looked like a rather hopeful look on his face as he peered into her room as she leaned against the door.

Once inside, she secured the lock and headed for the bathroom, stripping off her clothing as she went. She filled the large tub with hot water, using a generous amount of the hotel provided bubble bath. When tub was as full as she could get it, she carefully climbed in and slipped below the fragrant bubbles, humming in contentment as she did.

She must have dozed off at some point, because the water was nearly tepid when she was startled awake by a loud knock at the door. Exasperated by Mike's persistence, she climbed out of the tub and headed for the door, wrapping her robe around her still wet body as she went. She was prepared to tell Mike, rather firmly if necessary, that she was fine and while she appreciated his concern for her, what she really needed was a decent amount of sleep. She huffed slightly as she wrenched the door open without looking through the peep hole. She was not prepared, however, for the sight that greeted her as she swung the door open.

On the other side of the door, still wearing hospital scrubs under a leather jacket, stood Edward. His hair looked like it had the evening she had seen him on his knees begging for her—the night before his wedding. From the disheveled look of it, she knew he had been tugging at it, and the stubble which darkened his jaw line looked thicker than it had when she'd seen him just a few hours before. His eyes were wild as they raked over her robe clad form.

She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound would come. She closed it, then opened it once more to try and speak.

This time he cut her off. "Are you free?" he asked, the words practically a growl.

She looked at him in confusion.

"Are you free?" he repeated, his tone slightly more exasperated. "Are you really not with James anymore?"

Still unable to speak, she shook her head.

He growled again before launching himself through the door toward her. She drew in a sharp breath only a second before his lips were on hers. Her breath came out again in the form of a low moan. The strange electricity that seemed to flow between them made her blood boil beneath the surface. She couldn't seem to stop herself from reaching up and entwining her hands in his hair, pulling him closer. His lips moved against hers, and it was like nothing she'd ever felt before.

Finally, when she was in danger of passing out due to lack of oxygen, she pulled away. Her breathing was labored, and she felt dizzy and light headed for a moment before a new emotion crashed down on her: guilt.

"Edward, this is wrong. We can't…you're married," She shook her head and took a step away from him as she tried to pull her robe tighter around herself. The silky fabric kept sticking to her wet skin, making the task nearly impossible.

Edward cut her off with a shake of his head. "Is that what James told you?"

She nodded, still confused.

He laughed mirthlessly. "James lied, Bella. I didn't go through with it. I couldn't marry Tanya. I didn't marry Tanya."

She took a moment to process his words. "You never married Tanya?"

He shook his head at her, grinning. "No. After that night in the church, I realized that I couldn't marry her. I broke it off the next day, before the wedding. I went to Phoenix."

"You what?" she cried, shocked.

"I came to look for you. I came to Phoenix for you. But James beat me to it. He lied and said that you had confessed and begged him to take you back."

"Son of a bitch," she hissed, the pieces beginning to come together.

Edward chuckled again at her anger for a moment before growing serious again and moving toward her. "James is a son of a bitch, Bella, but none of that matters anymore. I'm free now. There is no Tanya in the picture. There is no James in the picture. But I need to know if this is what you want. For the past three months I've thought of nothing but you, but if you don't feel the same way, I'll understand, and I'll leave you alone."

This time it was Bella who cut him off. She threw her arms around his neck, the force of her embrace pushing his back against the now closed door. She sought his lips with her own, and he growled as he ran his hands up her back.

Their kiss was filled with passion and desire, and none of the guilt that had weighed Bella down before. They were free. They could be together. Suddenly, she knew she needed to tell him what it had been like for her, without him.

With some difficulty, she pulled away from him slightly. "Edward, these past months, without you, they've been hell. I don't know how I made it through." Her voice nearly broke at the end and from the look in his eyes, she knew that he shared her sadness. But none of that mattered now. He was here with her, and nothing would take him away from her again.

In answer, he brought his lips to hers, and it was as if the past three months never happened. She could feel the layers of ache and sadness melting away from her with each caress.

He brought his hands up and tangled them in her wet hair, pulling slightly in order to tilt her head back. She allowed her hands to roam down his broad shoulders and over the taut muscles of his back to around his waist where she used them to pull him against her.

Whether it was from the increased contact, or in response to her own moan, she didn't know, but Edward responded by disentangling his hands from her hair, bringing them to her own waist, and lifting her in the air. Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around him as he carried her further into the room.

Her robe parted and fell away from her legs, but she was not embarrassed as he broke their kiss to glance down at her.

"Bella," he breathed as he reached the bed. "I want to make love to you."

Instead of answering him, she reached up, fumbling with the tie on her robe for only a moment before letting it slip down her shoulders. She heard his sharp intake of breath as the silky garment fell to the floor.

Almost reverently, he laid her on the bed, his own body hovering over hers, not quite touching her. When she was in place on the bed, he sat back on his knees for a moment and gazed down at her. His eyes were hooded and a darker shade of green than she ever remembered seeing them.

"Bella, you are so beautiful. I've wanted this from the moment I met you in the emergency room." His own voice was low and intense, but he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face when he added, "The first time."

Bella giggled and blushed, and the color seeped over her neck and down her chest. When he saw this, Edward growled again and brought his arms down on either side of her as his lips met hers again.

Bella had only been with one other man. She had assumed that sex with James had been good, but as Edward's hands moved over her naked, heated body, she now knew that there was nothing about James that could ever compare to Edward. His hands were strong, but soft, and everywhere he touched the mysterious spark of electricity seemed to follow, intensifying the feeling of his hands on her heated skin. He planted adoring kisses over every inch of her.

Soon, he had shed his own clothing and stood before her. She held her hand out to him, beckoning him to return to her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and suddenly, she was inexplicably nervous. He seemed to sense this, and paused to look into her eyes.

"Bella," his voice was rough with emotion. "Bella, I can't believe we're here right now. You don't know how happy I am, how happy you make me. Bella, I love you."

She was taken back for a moment and could do nothing except stare at him. As she thought about his words, her expression slid into a smile. Of course. It all made sense. It all fit together now. Of course he loved her.

"I love you, Edward," she grinned, no longer scared or nervous. The words sounded so true on her lips; there was no way she could ever deny them. She had loved this man since practically the first time she'd met him. They had been pulled together by fate's inescapable grasp, and now, despite all the obstacles that had stood in their way, they were together.

He made love to her, trailing kisses down her jaw and whispering his love for her in her ear. He told her how he had loved her since the first time he met her. He whispered of how extraordinary she was and how long he'd dreamed of being with her.

Afterward, they lay tangled in a mass of limbs and sheets.

Edward leaned in to kiss her shoulder and trail his finger lightly down her arm. "You are amazing, Bella."

Still not having slept since the trip to the hospital, Bella murmured her answer. She was already mostly asleep when Edward gathered her in his arms, pulling her warm body against his own. She smiled and hummed contentedly.

She was almost asleep when a stray thought wandered across her consciousness. It caused her to gasp and sit up in fear. Edward, who apparently had also been almost asleep, jumped and sat up with her.

She twisted toward him and took his face in her hands. "Edward." Her voice was sad, and she felt as if tears might well up in her eyes at any moment.

"What's wrong, love?" he asked, the concern evident on both his face and in his voice.

"Edward, please don't leave me. I can't lose you again."

"Oh, baby," he cooed, stroking her face and pushing her hair out of her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere. Do you honestly think that I'd ever let you go again, after losing you once?" his expression turned to a smile. "You're never getting rid of me."

Assuaged, she nodded, and her heart began to slow. She allowed herself to be pulled back down. She settled back against Edward's chest, and he continued to stroke her hair and whisper softly in her ear as she faded out of consciousness and into a deep sleep. In Edward's arms, Bella slept better than she ever remembered having slept in years.


	16. Ch 15: Balconies & Bed Sheets

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 15: Balconies and Bed Sheets

"Bella…" he whispered as he ran one finger down the side of her face. He smiled when she scrunched up her nose and sighed before opening her eyes to look at him. His heart seemed to stop as he waited to see what her reaction would be when she realized he was still there. Would she be upset? Would she regret making love to him?

His fears melted away when she smiled at him. He felt his heart begin to beat again as she stretched and twisted to face him. "Hi," she said, her voice rough from sleep.

"Hi," he answered, grinning back at her. "You okay?" he asked. He was fairly sure from her expression that she was, but he felt compelled to make sure.

"Yeah, I'm good. You?" Her brown eyes were big chocolate pools that seemed to bore into his soul.

"I'm very good," he said, moving his hand to wrap it around her shoulders as he bent nearer to her and kissed her.

"You stayed," she said as she pulled away from his lips.

"Where else am I going to go?" he asked, pulling her closer still.

Something in Bella' expression shifted. "So, you really went to Phoenix for me?"

Edward nodded.

"What happened?"

"Well, I left practically straight from the church. I hated to leave everything like that, but when James said you had left, I was just crazy. I had to see you. But by the time I found a hotel and got a hold of your address, James was already there. He must have been on the same damn flight as me, Bella. I couldn't believe it."

"Wait," Bella cut him off. "How did you get my address?"

"From your medical records," he paused and Bella raised one eyebrow at him. He rolled his eyes before continuing. "Anyway, I showed up at your house and James was already there. He told me that you had confessed everything to him, and that you were sorry and had begged him to take you back."

Bella growled softly next to him. He tightened his hold around her shoulders.

"I didn't want to believe him, Bella, but I didn't think I had a choice. I felt so damn guilty about everything, and the last thing I wanted to do was mess up your life. I gave up. I shouldn't have, but I didn't know what else to do."

Just as he had done to her, Bella gripped him tighter, rubbing reassuring circles on his chest, trying to soothe the ache that was so obvious in his voice.

He continued. "I came back here, but I couldn't stop thinking about you. I was a mess. You had turned me down that night in the church, and I honestly believed that you had gone back to James and the thought killed me."

"I didn't go back to him, Edward. I ended things with him that night. He confronted me and accused me of cheating on him. He told me that it didn't matter because you and Tanya had gotten married. It got intense. He…he hurt me." Bella paused and closed her eyes against the tears that were threatening to spill at the memory.

Next to her, Edward stiffened but remained silent, wanting to hear the rest of the story.

"He didn't hurt me badly, but he grabbed me when I tried to leave. I'd never seen that side of him, and it scared me. That's when I knew without a doubt that it was over. I felt so alone. I went to my sister's house. Thank God for her. She let me stay there, and then helped me get set up in my own place. James was furious, but he's left me alone for a couple of months now."

"Bella, I swear, he will never come near you again." Edward's voice was low, and he wanted her to know that he meant it. He would always keep her safe. He had felt protective of her ever since they met, and now that she was his, the need to keep her safe and happy was stronger than ever.

"Thank you," she whispered, kissing his shoulder. "I'm sorry we both had to go through so much pain and heartache. None of this would have happened if I hadn't been so stupid and turned you down that night."

"You know, as painful as it was, I think it was good for us too," Edward mused.

Bella lifted herself up on one elbow and looked at him questioningly.

He smiled at her expression. "No, I'm serious. Listen, I've been through hell these past few months, and so have you, but do you really think things would have been any easier for either of us if you had said yes to me that night in the church? Tanya and James would have flipped out. As it was they gave us enough trouble. Well, maybe not Tanya, but James."

"Yeah, but at least we wouldn't have been apart," Bella pointed out.

"That is true; but think about it. You've been able to experience things on your own. You got your own apartment, you're living your own life now. Bella, you're a different person than the girl I met four months ago."

She furrowed her brow at him, and he laughed.

"It's not a bad thing. Maybe I shouldn't say a different person, but you've definitely changed. You're much more…independent and happy. I am not happy that we had to spend this time apart, but now we can be together without anything getting in the way. Now we know that we want to be together because we love each other, and not just because we feel like we're not happy with our partners. Does that make sense?"

Bella thought about it for a moment. "Did you mean it then?" she asked quietly, ducking her head again.

"What?" Edward asked, looking at her questioningly.

"When you said that you loved me. Did you mean it?" Her voice was a whisper and she didn't seem to be able to meet his gaze.

"Bella," he breathed, reaching up and gently pulling her chin up so he could look into her eyes. "I have never meant anything more."

She blushed and smiled, and he pulled her up into his arms, bringing his lips to hers. She smiled against his lips and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders before twisting them both around so that Bella lay atop his chest.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered.

"I love you too, Edward," she breathed.

Where their lovemaking had been achingly sweet and slow the first time, this time, with Bella on top of him, it was raw and filled with need and passion. Afterward, Bella remained with her head on his chest as he stroked her hair and brushed his lips across her forehead.

"Thank you," Bella whispered after a while.

Edward smiled. "Why are you thanking me?"

"Thank you for finding me." Edward felt her arms tighten around him as warm tears fell onto his chest. He brought his own arms up and rubbed her back soothingly.

"Oh, baby. I'd do it all over again. It was worth it. This," he squeezed her shoulders, "is worth every minute of pain I had to endure."

Bella nodded in agreement, and the two lay silent for a while.

"Edward?" Bella murmured. Edward hummed in response. "How did you find me last night? Or, I guess this morning."

Edward sighed before answering. "I followed you."

"You followed me from the hospital?"

"Yes. I should never have let you leave in the first place, but what you said about Tanya had me so confused, I just stood there like an idiot while you walked away. Well, after you left, I sort of snapped out of it and realized what you had meant. I still wasn't sure about what had happened with James, but I knew I couldn't lose you again. I grabbed a cab and paid him extra to follow you. We barely made it."

"So, why did it take you so long to come in then?"

Edward didn't speak for a while. Finally, Bella lifted her head to look at him. He sighed and finally spoke. "I did come in. I followed you and Mike up here. I wasn't sure who he was, but when he left you at the door, I was pretty sure you weren't involved with him."

"Okay, but you still didn't knock or anything for, what, a couple of hours? Why?" Bella asked.

"I was afraid. I was afraid you'd reject me again, Bella. So I sat outside the hotel trying to get up the courage to come and talk to you. "

"I'm sorry you were afraid," Bella whispered, her voice laced with guilt. He knew she was thinking about that night in the church.

"No, Bella. Please don't apologize. My fears had nothing to do with you. You had every right to turn me down that night. I put you in a horribly unfair position. I'm so sorry for that. I see now why you did what you did. I don't blame you."

He felt Bella nod against his chest, though she said nothing. They remained in comfortable silence for several more minutes.

"So, where do we go from here?" Edward finally asked as he trailed his fingers up and down her bare back.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm in Chicago, and you live in Phoenix. That's kind of a problem, don't you think?" He smiled at her as he spoke.

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"When do you have to be back?" he asked quietly, not wanting to hear her answer.

"We fly out Sunday afternoon. Oh, speaking of, what time is it? I think I missed all of my morning meetings!"

"Bella, it's okay. You need to stay off your ankle anyway so it can heal. You may not be able to go to any of your meetings while you're here," Edward said, pressing his finger gently to her lips when she opened her mouth to argue with him. "Doctor's orders," he insisted.

She rolled her eyes and huffed.

"Besides, there are a lot of things that we can do to fill our time while still keeping you off your feet," Edward said, grabbing Bella by her sides and squeezing her until she squealed. He spun her around and hovered over her as she twisted and giggled beneath him.

Edward's lips were moving their way down Bella's collarbone when they were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Who is that?" Edward murmured against Bella's neck.

"It's probably someone from the convention wondering where I am."

"Let me get it. You stay here. Stay off your feet," Edward said, sliding out of the bed and pulling his boxers over his hips.

He opened the door, stepped into the hallway, and shut the door behind himself. A surprised Mike greeted him on the other side, his mouth falling open as he took in Edward's half-dressed state.

"Hi. Mike was it?" Edward said, even though he remembered very well Mike's name. Mike seemed unable to speak, so Edward continued. "Bella's resting, but I'll let her know you stopped by to check on her. I appreciate you taking care of her when I couldn't." Edward hoped that Mike would catch the subtle hint in his words. While he sincerely did appreciate Mike's assistance, Edward didn't intend to give Mike another opportunity to be there for Bella.

Mike nodded. "Yeah, sure. No problem." He paused before continuing. "Bella never mentioned that she knew someone here in town."

Edward smiled lightly and shrugged as he ran his hand through his hair. "Bella and I have a history together, but things were complicated. Fortunately, things became… uncomplicated last night."

Mike nodded awkwardly. "Oh, okay. Well that's…good. Um, do you know if Bella is planning to attend any of the sessions this afternoon? We're on lunch break right now, but the conference will start up again in about an hour."

Edward paused and thought of Bella waiting for him in the bed on the other side of the door. A slow smile spread across his face before he smoothed his expression into his most professional and serious look. He shook his head grimly. "No, Mike. As her doctor, I'm going to advise her to take the rest of the day off. In fact, it will be questionable as to whether or not she'll be able to attend any of the sessions. Since this is a reoccurring injury, it's especially important that she treat it properly. Luckily, I'll be close by to ensure that she's getting the rest she needs and staying off of her feet."

Mike nodded and thanked Edward before shuffling away awkwardly, glancing backward a couple of times as he went. Edward smiled and waved before letting himself back into Bella's suite.

As he made his way back to the bed, she glanced up at him. "Was that Mike?" she asked.

"Yes, I let him know you wouldn't be attending any of the sessions today." He paused and looked at Bella. "Who is that guy anyway?"

"Oh, he's just a guy at the conference. I only met him yesterday, but he's been very nice to me. He really watched out for me when I hurt my ankle again. Well, until you came along."

"Well, I appreciate him watching out for you, but I'm here now," Edward said, matter-of-factly as he approached the bed. Once he reached her, he bent down, gathered Bella up, wrapped her in the hotel sheets, and slung her over his back.

She shrieked and playfully slapped at his back from her position across his shoulders. "Where are you taking me?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he slid the patio door open set her down on one of the lounge chairs on the balcony. He ducked back inside the room again and returned only a moment later with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

He pulled one out, lit it and handed it to Bella before lighting one for himself and sinking down on the lounger next to her.

Neither one spoke, but as they sat in companionable silence, Edward thought how nice it was to not have to hide this part of himself anymore. Although she didn't yet know that much about him, Edward had a feeling that Bella would accept him for who he was, without question. He knew he would accept her. There was nothing she could tell him that would cause his feelings for her to change.

They watched as the sun travelled further across the sky. Finally, Edward glanced at his watch. He was disappointed to see how late it was. He would have liked to spend more time lounging around the suite with Bella, but he needed to get ready for his dinner with Alice. As he gazed at Bella, the thought of being separated from her, even for a few hours, made his heart clench. Suddenly, something occurred to him.

"Bella?" he asked hesitantly.

She hummed in response.

"Do you have any plans tonight?" he asked.

"No, I don't think so, why?"

"Well, I've been invited to dinner at my sister Alice's house, and I would like it very much if you'd accompany me."

Bella's eyes grew wide. "Edward, you want me to meet your family?"

Suddenly, Edward was unsure of his plan. As far as he was concerned, Bella was going to be an important part of his life from then on, and he couldn't wait for her to meet his family, but he didn't know if he should be putting pressure on her and asking her to meet them. What if she didn't want to? What if it was too soon?

"I'd love to meet your family, Edward," Bella smiled at him.

"Thank you," he whispered. Relief flooded through him as he leaned in and gathered her face in his hands, holding it delicately as if it were the finest china that might shatter at any moment if handled too roughly. He searched her brown eyes for a moment, and what he found there only served to cement his feelings. She was telling the truth. She did love him, and she wanted to meet his family. He brought his lips to hers and marveled at their softness. He pulled her lower lip in between his own and sucked it gently, smiling at the low moan that escaped her throat.

Bella brought her arms up and wound them around his neck as she pulled herself closer to him. Soon, she was sitting across his lap, the sheet discarded as he ran his hands all over her smooth skin for the third time that day.

With a great deal of effort, he managed to pull his lips away from her. "Bella, baby. I could make love to you all day, but my sister Alice hates it when anyone is late, so we need to get ready."

For a split second, nervousness flashed across Bella's face. Edward furrowed his brow. "Do you still want to go, love?"

"No, Edward. It's fine, I do. I'm just nervous, is all. Meeting your family is kind of a big deal."

Edward smiled and rubbed her back as he pulled her to him. "Bella, you're kind of a big deal."

Edward did end up making love to Bella again in the shower as they got ready for their evening. It took all the willpower he had to actually leave the hotel suite with her after they had dressed. Suddenly, dinner with his family seemed very unappealing when faced with the alternative of staying in bed with Bella for the rest of the evening and ordering room service.

But in the end, the thought of introducing Bella to his family was enough to motivate him to leave the hotel suite hand in hand with her.

They made a quick stop at Edward's apartment so that he could change for dinner. Bella sat quietly in the corner while she waited for him, and was polite enough not to comment on the dilapidated state of Edward's living quarters.

The drive to Edward's sister's house took them out of the city and into the suburbs, and Edward used the time to fill Bella in on his family so that Bella would have some idea of who everyone was.

"Well, there's my father, Carlisle. He's a doctor like me, except he's in practice for himself. My mom, Esme, is a social worker. Then there's my sister, Alice. She's married to Jasper. Jasper is a psychiatrist, and Alice is a dancer. Or, at least she used to be. She retired when their oldest was born. She and Jasper have two kids. My nephew Riley, and my niece Bree."

Bella listened and nodded, asking questions in all the right places, and Edward could tell by the look of concentration on her face that she was really trying to absorb all the information he was presenting her with.

They arrived at Alice's house, and Edward pulled his car in behind the others that were already parked there. Bella looked at him nervously as they approached the front door. He rubbed soothing circles in her hand in an effort to reassure her. "Don't worry. They're going to love you," he whispered as he planted a kiss behind her left ear.

Bella took a deep breath and squeezed Edward's hand. He smiled at her as he reached to ring the doorbell. "You ready?" he asked.

Bella nodded a split second before the door was wrenched open.

"Alice, I'd like you to meet Bella. Bella, I'd like you to meet my sister Alice."


	17. Ch 16: Introductions & Declarations

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 16: Introductions and Declarations

Once more, Bella tried to swallow the lump that was building her in throat. It didn't seem to do her any good though. She worked to keep her hands still in her lap so that Edward wouldn't see that they were trembling.

She didn't tell Edward, but she was seriously regretting agreeing to accompany him to dinner. She had agreed to come on a whim in an effort to prolong her time with him, but now, doubts were flooding her mind. Edward had said that his family was close friends with Tanya and her family. Wouldn't that mean that Edward's family would be resentful of anyone who wasn't Tanya? Would they hate Bella?

Edward seemed to sense her anxiety, even though she tried to hide it, and squeezed her leg from his place in the driver's seat of his Volvo. Instead of inquiring about her nervousness, he began to give her information about his family. As he spoke, she could feel her nerves begin to settle. It was as if the very sound of Edward's voice was enough to calm her and cause her nervous energy to dissipate.

Bella listened quietly as he talked about his family. She began to get the sense that, although he had not really spoken of them before, his family was very important to him. From the way Edward described each of them, Bella actually found herself looking forward to meeting them. Before she knew it, they were pulling up in front of a modest but beautiful brick house.

Edward came around and opened her door for her, just as he had the other time she had ridden with him in his car. She smiled at him as she climbed out. As they walked to the door, he reached down and took her hand in his, squeezing it lightly and rubbing the back of it with his thumb. The gesture was so achingly sweet that Bella felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. In the short time that she'd been reunited with Edward, it seemed like she was being constantly reminded of how protective and attentive he was. It was such an amazing contrast to James' aloof indifference.

Bella had been so lost in thought that she had nearly forgotten her nerves. They all came rushing back, however, when Edward reached up and rang the doorbell. She glanced nervously at him, and he whispered his reassurances in her ear before the door swung open.

"Hi, Alice," Edward smiled, stepping forward to give his sister a one-armed hug while still keeping hold of Bella's hand with his other hand.

As Bella's eyes fell on Edward's sister, she realized that she had seen this girl before. The tiny girl who stood before her now was the same girl Bella had seen and been fascinated with during the rehearsal dinner. The reminder of that night and the events that had transpired only served to increase the size of the lump in Bella's throat.

"Alice, I'd like you to meet Bella. Bella, this is my sister, Alice," Edward said, gesturing from his sister to Bella and back again.

Bella smiled and nodded politely, but before she had a chance to say anything, Alice squealed, clapped her hands together, and launched herself at Bella, squeezing her tightly around her neck. Surprised, Bella hugged her back.

"Alice, let her get in the door at least," Edward said, chuckling and shaking his head.

Alice dropped her arms and looked down sheepishly. "Sorry. It's nice to meet you finally, Bella," she said, grinning up at Bella.

Bella couldn't help smiling at her enthusiasm, even though it confused her a little. "It's nice to meet you too, Alice. Thank you for inviting me, especially with such short notice."

"It's my pleasure. I've heard so much about you. It's so great to finally meet you."

Bella was amazed by the instant acceptance and warm reception she received from Edward's sister. She glanced over at him, and he raised his eyebrow as if to say _I told you so_.

While Bella felt slightly relieved by the reception she received from Edward's sister, her nerves were not completely soothed, since there were still the other members of Edward's family to meet.

Alice stepped aside and motioned Edward and Bella inside. Edward placed his hand on the small of Bella's back and guided her through the door and into the dining room where he was greeted by the other woman Bella had watched during the rehearsal dinner. She smiled as she realized this must be Esme, Edward's mother.

"Edward, son. How are you?" She brushed the hair back from Edward's forehead and looked at him critically, the worry evident in her eyes.

"Mom, I'm fine, really," he smiled, appearing annoyed at her concern. Bella suspected that deep down he loved it. "I would like you to meet someone. Mom, this is Bella. Bella, this is my mother, Esme."

Esme dropped her hand from Edward's cheek and turned her attention to Bella. Bella felt her stomach drop. Esme eyed her for a moment before a slow smile spread across her beautiful face.

"Bella, we've heard a lot about you. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Welcome." Esme's eyes were warm and friendly as they met Bella's. Immediately, Bella's fear disappeared, and she smiled back at Edward's mother.

"It's so nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen. Thank you for having me," Bella said quietly, feeling a blush spread across her cheeks.

"Oh, please. Call me Esme. And no need to thank me, dear. We're all imposing on Alice and Jasper tonight. Don't tell them that we all plan to leave before it's time to clean up," she stage whispered, leaning closer to Bella and winking at her.

Bella laughed, surprised once again by how quickly another member of Edward's family accepted her. Edward led her around the room where she was introduced to his father and his brother-in-law. Once more, Bella was not surprised to see the handsome blonde men that she had watched from afar at the dinner.

As Bella was chatting with Jasper, they were interrupted by a cacophony of noise. Bella looked up just as two children, a blonde boy and a black haired girl, ran into the room. The girl leapt into Jasper's arms while the boy ran circles around them, yelling the entire time.

"Whoa! What is going on? Calm down," Jasper said, laughing as he held the girl out of the boy's reach. Suddenly, the boy's attention was caught by Edward's presence.

"Uncle Edward!" he cried.

"Hi Riley! Is it possible you're getting taller?" Edward cried, scooping up the toe-headed boy who flung himself into his arms.

The dark haired girl twisted in Jasper's arms and turned her face toward Edward. "Hi, Uncle Edward," she said sweetly, smiling at Edward.

Bella watched the entire exchange with a smile on her face. Then, the angel faced little girl turned and met Bella's eyes for a moment.

"Who is that, Uncle Edward?"

Edward smiled at both Bella and his niece. "Bree and Riley, I'd like you to meet my good friend Bella."

Riley climbed down from Edward's arms and walked up to Bella. He stuck his little hand out and puffed up his chest. "It's nice to meet you, Bella. I'm Riley."

Bella grinned at the boy and took his small hand in her own and shook it firmly. "It's very nice to meet you too, Riley."

Riley nodded, and Bree giggled as she hid her face against her daddy's chest.

"Don't mind her. She's kind of shy around strangers. She's the youngest. She's only five. I'm eight," Riley explained conspiratorially to Bella.

Bella nodded and winked at Riley to let him know that she understood what he was trying to tell her.

"Okay, dinner is ready. Everyone have a seat!" Alice said, practically bouncing up and down as she reappeared. Everyone laughed but obeyed, and Bella had a feeling that people usually did was Alice said.

"So, Bella, Edward tells us that you're a writer?" Carlisle said after they had all settled in. Alice had brought out heaping, steaming trays of food, and the smells wafted temptingly through the room, making Bella's stomach roll with hunger.

She turned her attention to Edward's father, nodding. "Yes, I'm a free lance writer, but lately I've been writing pretty regularly for some local magazines and newspapers in Phoenix."

"That sounds like a very rewarding job. Do you enjoy it?" Esme asked, passing Bella the mashed potatoes.

"I really do. I've been passionate about writing for as long as I can remember. I haven't had a lot of drive to write until very recently." She paused and glanced at Edward. He was watching her with a speculative expression on his face, and at her words, he smiled.

The rest of the meal went by in a similar fashion. Bella was both surprised and pleased at how easily she got along with Edward's family. They continued to pepper her with questions about herself and her life in Phoenix, but despite this, she still didn't feel uneasy or as if she was the center of attention. They made her feel comfortable.

"Alice, that was delicious, as usual," Jasper said, kissing his wife on the forehead as he began to clear away the dinner dishes. Everyone nodded and hummed their agreement, and Alice beamed at their praise.

Edward stood and gathered both his and Bella's plates. Bella moved to stand and follow him, but he stopped her. "I'll get this," he smiled, encouraging her to sit back down.

"I can help, I don't mind," she protested.

"No, really, it's tradition. The men always clean up the kitchen after our family dinners. Besides, you need to rest your ankle, love." He brushed her hair over her shoulder and kissed the base of her neck.

Bella couldn't help but close her eyes and hum audibly in response. He chuckled at her, and she was embarrassed when she opened her eyes to discover that they had an audience. Immediately, she blushed, feeling more self conscious than she had all evening.

The men finished clearing the dishes and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the women sitting at the table.

"You're good for him, you know," Alice said.

Bella looked up at Alice and smiled nervously. "Thank you. He's good for me too. I have to say, I'm a little surprised at how accepting you all have been. I mean, I'm grateful, but I'm just...surprised." She felt a nervous blush color her cheeks again.

"Why wouldn't we accept you, dear?" Esme asked, sipping delicately from her wine glass.

"Well, you know...because of...Tanya," Bella said uneasily.

Alice laughed, and even though it was a light, lilting sound, it still startled Bella a little.

"I'm sorry, Bella, it's just that you didn't know Edward...before," Alice said.

"What do you mean before?" Bella asked, confused.

It was Esme who answered. "Edward and Tanya were together for a long time. For many years, we loved Tanya like a daughter because she made Edward happy. But she hasn't made Edward happy for a long time. You make Edward happy."

Bella smiled at Esme's simple explanation. "He makes me happy too."

The three women sat in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. They were brought out of their reverie by the swinging of the kitchen door as the men returned.

"Are the dishes all done already?" Alice asked, her voice skeptical.

"We're letting them soak," Jasper said, smirking as Alice rolled her eyes at him. "We missed you ladies too much." Everyone laughed as the men sat back down at the table.

"Well, I better get Bella back before it gets too much later. She has meetings tomorrow. I got her to skip them today, but I don't think I'll be as successful tomorrow."

Edward and Bella made their way around the room and Bella was embraced just as warmly as Edward was. Alice wanted her to call before she left town so they could get together without Edward interfering, and Esme told Bella that she would have her and Edward over to their place soon. Bella explained to them that she was leaving in a couple of days, and wasn't sure if she'd be able to see them again this trip, but she assured them that she'd make time to see them on her next trip. She felt very confident that her next trip to Chicago would be very soon.

Bella thanked them for inviting her and for the lovely dinner, and soon she and Edward were back in his car, making their way back to her hotel room.

"Edward?" she asked, breaking the comfortable silence after a while. She had been watching the blurry scenery pass as the Volvo's headlights sliced through the darkness.

"Hmmm?" he murmured.

"Are you...going to go home tonight?" she asked quietly. She dreaded the thought of being away from him, but she didn't want him to feel like he had to stay with her. She could feel his eyes on her in the dark.

"Do you want me to go home?" he asked, and she sensed the hurt in his voice.

"No, of course not! I just don't want you to feel like you have to stay with me," she answered.

"Bella, I never want to be away from you again." He reached over and gathered her hand in his. His hand was large and warm, and she loved the feel of it as it enveloped her own. She thought for a moment about the meaning behind his words. As she looked at his dark profile, she knew that he wasn't just talking about the hotel room and whether or not he would stay with her this night. She knew as she gazed at him in the dark car, his face intermittently illuminated by the glow of passing cars, that she felt the same way. She couldn't imagine her life without him.


	18. Chapter 17: Trust & Betrayal

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 17: Trust and Betrayal

As much as it pained Edward, the next morning, before the sun even began to peek through the drawn curtains, he quietly unwound himself from Bella's embrace. He showered as noiselessly as possible, and slipped out the door. As he left, he glanced down at Bella's sleeping form once more. He resisted the urge to wake her so that he could get one last kiss from her. She needed her sleep.

Since Bella's hotel was close to the hospital, he opted to walk rather drive his car. The fall air was crisp and clean, despite the usual inner-city smog. Edward breathed deeply as he walked, enjoying the mixture of sounds and smells that surrounded him. As he neared the hospital, he passed a sidewalk café that he often frequented and decided to stop for coffee. Five minutes later, he emerged, balancing a coffee cup in one hand, and lighting a cigarette with the other as he passed beneath downtown Chicago's high rise buildings. Although the coffee was the same coffee that he drank nearly every morning, he couldn't help but think that this morning it tasted particularly good. He realized with a smile that this was because he was drinking the coffee for enjoyment, and not to try and stave off the massive hangover that was usually plaguing him at this hour. He felt better than he had in months, and he knew without a doubt that this had everything to do with the beautiful brunette who was most likely still curled up in the sheets of the bed they had shared for the past two nights.

It was with this sunny disposition that Edward began his rounds that morning. It seemed that everyone noticed the spring in his step as he made his way around the emergency room. He greeted patients enthusiastically, and was even overheard whistling at one point.

The day flew by, and before he knew it, his shift was over. He made his way to the locker room, his head filled with thoughts of Bella. He wondered how her day had been. She had planned to attend at least some of her meetings, and he hoped that her ankle had not bothered her too badly throughout the day. He thought about how much he would love to take her to dinner, but he realized that after being on her feet all day, she might not want to go out. Ordering room service was an alternative that Edward was definitely okay with.

He was so lost in his plans for the evening that he didn't immediately notice her standing there by the locker room door. As he reached for the door, she finally caught his eye. His heart skipped a beat, and his mouth was suddenly dry.

"Hello, Edward," she said, her voice even as she gazed at him.

"Hello, Tanya," he answered, finding his voice at last. "What are you doing here?"

She smiled. "We need to talk."

For reasons he couldn't quite identify, dread filled Edward at her words. He tried to calm himself down. There was no reason he should be afraid of talking to Tanya. Their relationship was over, and she had been incredibly gracious since it had ended.

"Sure. Give me a minute to change, and then we can go somewhere," Edward said, nodding.

Tanya agreed, and Edward disappeared into the locker room to change out of his scrubs. When he was back in his street clothes, he emerged to find Tanya waiting for him on a small sofa nearby.

"Okay, I'm ready," he said. She rose and they headed out.

They decided to walk to the same coffee shop across the street from the hospital that Edward had visited just that morning. Since it was still early in the evening, the place was relatively empty.

"What would you like? Are you hungry?" Edward asked.

Tanya shook her head. "Nothing for me, thanks."

Edward ordered a cup of coffee and returned to where Tanya was waiting for him. He sat down and sipped his coffee, and for a moment, neither of them spoke.

Finally, Edward didn't think he could take the tension anymore. "So, what's up, Tanya?"

Tanya took a deep breath and closed her eyes as if she were steeling herself against something unpleasant. "I'm not really sure how to tell you this."

Edward waited for a moment. Then he said, "Tanya, look, whatever it is, just tell—"

"I'm pregnant."

There was suddenly no air in the room. Edward's vision blurred, and he couldn't think. He closed his eyes and desperately tried to suck in air. It was a moment before he could speak. Tanya seemed to sense this and waited for him to process her news.

Slowly, rational thought began to return to him. He still had no words, but he began to be able to think about what Tanya had just told him. He thought about how only a few months ago, this news would have made him so happy. He thought about what this news would mean for his future. And last, but not least, he thought of the amazing girl who was waiting for him in a hotel room nearby. He felt his heart break as he realized the impact this news would have on her. She didn't deserve this.

As he sat staring into his coffee cup, attempting to gain control of his scattered thoughts, he realized that maybe things didn't have to change. Was there any reason why he couldn't be with Bella and still help Tanya raise their child?

Slowly, questions began to form.

"So, it's...mine, then?" he asked, finally looking at Tanya.

Tanya's eyes flashed as she answered. "Yes, Edward. Of course it's yours. I can't believe that you would even ask me that."

"I'm sorry, Tanya, but I had to ask." He felt his face burn with shame for questioning her. "How far along are you, then?"

"Ten weeks," she said quietly.

Edward furrowed his brow as he mentally counted backwards.

"Tanya, we broke up over three months ago..." He trailed off, confused. Tanya furrowed her brow at him as she began shaking her head, but Edward continued before she could interrupt him. "And even before we broke up, it had been, what...two or three months since we had been...intimate?" He didn't want to sound so excited at this news, but he couldn't help it. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his chest. There had been a mistake. Tanya couldn't be pregnant with his child. The math didn't add up. He stopped speaking when he realized she was still shaking her head, a strange expression on her face as she gazed at him.

"Edward, I...you don't remember?" she asked.

"Remember what, Tanya? Look, I'm sorry, you're obviously going through a lot right now, but there's no way that baby can be mine."

"Edward, we were together ten weeks ago. This baby is yours," Tanya stated, her voice hard.

Edward shook his head. "No. There's no way. I…what do you mean...?"

"You really don't remember?" Tanya sighed before continuing. "I was out with Victoria. She and I went to that little bar where you and I used to go to sometimes, and you were there. You were already drunk. We started talking—you were upset about something—one thing led to another, and I went back to your place." She finished with a shrug.

Edward's mouth fell open as he began to remember flashes from the evening that, before that moment, he had completely blocked out. He felt his stomach roll, and he was sure he was going to be sick. He muttered incoherently.

It was another several moments before Edward trusted himself to speak. He took a deep breath and looked up at Tanya again. "So, what is it that you want from me?"

"I don't want much from you, Edward. I just want us to raise our child together."

Edward nodded. "Of course. I'm going to do the right thing here. But I need to tell you something. I'm with someone now."

Tanya nodded, but Edward knew he needed to be completely honest. "I'm with Bella, Tanya."

Her expression hardened almost imperceptibly. "I see."

"That's not going to affect anything with you or the baby. I just thought you needed to know."

"Well, I can't say that I'm surprised. I am surprised James hasn't mentioned anything to me about it."

"James doesn't know," Edward said, his tone matching hers. "Anyway, like I said, it's not going to affect you or the baby."

Tanya nodded. "Well, I'll be in touch. I have a doctor's appointment next week, and I'd really like you to go with me."

"Of course. I'll be there," Edward said as he and Tanya both stood at the same time. He paid the bill, and then walked her to the door. As he reached for the handle, he paused and turned to her. "Listen, Tanya, I just want to tell you that I'm really sorry about all of this. I know you didn't mean for this to happen any more than I did. I just want you to know that I'm going to be here for you. We're going to do this together. This is our baby."

Tears filled Tanya's eyes, and she nodded as she looked up at him. "Thank you, Edward. I can't tell you how much that means to me."

With that, she was gone, and Edward was alone. As he made his way back to the hotel, he realized how surreal the past twenty minutes had been. He also realized that given the numbness he felt, he was most likely still in shock from the news Tanya had delivered. Thinking more and more about the implications of her news, it began to hit him just how much his life was going to change. He dreaded the impact this change would have on his relationship with Bella.

He mulled over the best way to break the news to Bella. He only had one more day with her before she returned to Phoenix, and he really did not want the news of his impending fatherhood looming over them. But at the same time, he also knew there was no way he could keep something like this from her.

He used the key card she had insisted on giving him to let himself into the room. He heard the sound of running water coming from the bathroom.

"Edward? Is that you?" she called. He followed the sound of her voice and found her in the shower. "Hi. I'm so glad you're back. I was trying to get a hold of you. Is your phone off?"

Edward fished his phone out of his pocket and realized he had never turned it back on after his shift. Before he could respond, Bella continued. "I have to go, Edward. That's why I was trying to call you. Rose called. Our dad is sick. He had a heart attack. He's in the hospital, and I have to go." Her voice broke as she shut the water off and stepped out.

"Oh no, Bella. I'm so sorry," Edward said, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her as she sobbed into his shoulder. "It'll be okay, honey."

She nodded and looked up at him. "I know. He's strong. I'm just so scared, Edward."

"Do you have a flight yet?"

Bella nodded again. "Yes, I already booked one. Can you take me to the airport?"

"Of course, sweetheart. Do you want me to come with you?"

She sniffed and thought for a moment. "I would love you to, but what about your job? You can't just pick up and go."

Edward thought for a moment before nodding. She was right. Plus, in the back of his mind, thoughts of his promise to Tanya flashed, and he realized he couldn't abandon her. "Okay, baby. You go, but I'll come join you as soon as I can, alright?"

Bella nodded, and he gathered her face in his hands, kissing her softly on the forehead. He used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the tears that were streaming down her face.

He held her for a moment, wondering how he could possibly tell her his news now. He decided, as he helped her pack the rest of her belongings, that there was no way he could add to her stress. His news would have to wait. In the meantime, he would figure out a way for the two of them to be together, despite the new found obstacles they were facing.

About an hour later, they stood waiting for her plane to board. He wrapped her in his arms again. "It's going to be okay, Bella. I promise, everything will be okay."

She nodded and gazed up at him, her big brown eyes filled with tears and trust. There was no way she could have known that Edward wasn't just speaking of her father's illness.

"Thank you so much, Edward. I don't know how I would get through this if I didn't have you. I love you so much."

He nodded. Suddenly unable to speak, he pulled her closer, and as he stood there clutching the girl he loved more than anything to his chest, he silently swore to himself that he would do everything in his power to make things right for her.


	19. Chapter 18: Waiting & Hoping

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 18: Waiting and Hoping

In a way, Bella was unsurprised by the news about her father. She and Rose had been after him for years to improve his diet. The two girls had done what they could to encourage him to eat healthy while they were at home, but now that both girls were gone, Bella could only imagine what his diet consisted of. Not to mention the smoking, something Bella had picked up from her father at a young age.

The flight back to Phoenix seemed long. When she finally landed, Rose was anxiously waiting for her. The two sisters embraced warmly, and the worry was evident on both of their faces.

"I stopped by your apartment and packed a few more things for you. Our flight to Seattle leaves in about an hour. Did you eat?" Rose was all business as she took Bella's carry on bag from her and steered her toward baggage claim.

"So, what have you heard from home? Is mom there yet?" Bella asked as the sisters settled into a small table at an airport café.

"Yeah, Mom and Phil flew in this morning. But of course, Mom isn't being much help." Rose rolled her eyes in exasperation. "It'll be better once we get there." She was pensive for a moment. Finally, she smiled, eyeing her sister with raised eyebrows. "So, fill me in on what happened with Edward."

Bella blushed as she ducked her head. "What do you want to know?" She had spoken briefly with her sister while she was in Chicago, but had purposely not given her many details.

Rose raised her eyebrow and looked pointedly at her sister, waiting for Bella to speak. Bella laughed, blushing deeper.

"Well, he was going to come with me, but he couldn't get away from work that easily." Rose kept her eyebrows raised as she waited for more. Bella giggled again then finally gushed to her sister about Edward. She told her about their chance encounter at the hospital, the mix up they had over whether or not he was really married to Tanya, and how he had tracked her down afterward. Rose smiled, her expression slightly smug, as she listened to her sister talk about her new love.

"Bella, I'm so happy for you. Edward sounds wonderful. You deserve someone wonderful in your life. I can't wait to meet him."

Bella beamed at her sister and reassured her that she would be meeting Edward soon; as soon as their father was better. Thinking about their father sobered Bella. She was sure he would be okay, but she couldn't help the worry that gnawed at the pit her of stomach as she and Rose waited for their plane.

The sisters flew from Phoenix to Seattle, and then from there, took a small plane to the tiny airport in Port Angeles. Though it was still dark, their mother was waiting anxiously for them when they stepped off the plane.

"Rose, Bella! Over here!" she called, waving her arms at them. There were only about twelve passengers on the plane, including the two sisters, and Bella found it wholly unnecessary for their mother to flail about to get their attention. But she was not surprised at her mother's display. Her mother loved to be the center of attention. It was one of the things that made her so different from her youngest daughter. While Bella preferred to be on the sidelines and fade into the background, Renée loved to be the life of the party.

"Oh, girls! It's so good to see you! I'm so glad you're here! Your father will be so glad you came!" Renée exclaimed, embracing each of her daughters in turn.

"How is Dad?" Rose asked, hugging her mother perfunctorily.

"Oh, he's excited to see you two. Let's get going."

Something in her mother's expression and the way she seemed to gloss over Rose's question made Bella's stomach lurch uncomfortably.

Their mother helped them retrieve their bags from the small carousel, and she led them to where her car was parked. The drive to the hospital didn't take long. Their father, Charlie, had been transported from Forks via ambulance to Port Angeles because the hospital in Port Angeles was better equipped to care from him.

"Hey! There's my girls!" Charlie cried when they entered his hospital room a short time later.

Bella's breath caught as she took in the sight of her usually healthy father lying in a hospital bed. He looked small and pale, and had so many tubes connected to various places, Bella couldn't count them. Despite all of this, he was grinning, the bushy moustache Bella loved so much twitching.

"Hi Dad," Rose said, bending over to give her father a gentle kiss on his cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, I'm fine. I keep telling them to let me go home, but these damn doctors need to make their boat payments, I guess. So they're keeping me here."

Bella smiled at her father's characteristic grumbling. However, underneath his gruff exterior, Bella sensed that didn't feel quite as well as he would have liked them all to believe. She couldn't help the tears that welled in her eyes as she made her way over to her father.

His face lit up when he saw her. "Bells!"

"Hi Daddy," she whispered, leaning down to kiss his cheek.

"Oh, baby girl, don't cry. I'm going to be out of here in no time."

She nodded, wiping her eyes. She felt guilty for upsetting him. She wanted to stay positive, not cause him further stress.

The two girls ended up pulling their chairs next to their father's bed, one on each side. He held each of their hands in one of his and insisted that they catch him up on all that was going on in their lives. Renée hovered in and out, ducking out several times to make and receive calls from Phil who was waiting in their hotel room across town.

As Rose told their father all about Emmett and their lives in Phoenix, Bella debated over whether she should mention Edward. She wasn't even sure whether her father knew that she and James had broken up.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard Rose speak her name. "…and, Dad, Bella has a new boyfriend."

Bella shot her sister a withering look.

"What? What do you mean Bella has a new boyfriend? Where is James?" Her father's voice was alarmed, and Bella eyed her sister again, annoyed that she had caused some of the monitors hooked up to their father to beep sporadically.

"Dad, it's okay. I meant to tell you. James and I broke up."

"Nobody tells me anything anymore," Charlie said, his moustache turning down slightly.

"I meant to tell you. I've just been busy," Bella murmured, eyes downcast.

"So what happened? You know I've always liked James."

"We just...grew apart."

Charlie huffed. "So who's this new guy?"

Bella sighed. Apparently the decision to tell her father about Edward had been made for her. "His name is Edward. He's wonderful, and he treats me better than James ever did."

Charlie looked over at Bella and seemed to regard her for a moment. "Well, as long as you're happy. Do I get to meet this Edward?"

"He was going to come with me, but he had to work."

"What does he do?" Renée chimed in from her corner of the room. Bella was not surprised that this was the first question her mother chose to ask about her new boyfriend.

"He's a doctor."

Her mother hummed appreciatively, and Bella had to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

Soon, Charlie's doctor came to check on him, removing the focus from Bella. Rosalie and Bella stepped outside to speak to the doctor. Both wanted to find out what their father's true condition was without their mother interfering, or their father downplaying everything.

"Well, I'm not going to lie. His heart attack was pretty severe. We ran some tests, and there's still a lot of blockage. We're going to try to go in through an endoscope and put some stints in to clear up some of the blockage. If that doesn't work, then we'll be looking at performing open heart surgery," the doctor explained patiently.

Bella's stomach flopped at the thought of her father undergoing such a major surgery. She and Rose nodded and thanked the doctor before making their way back into their father's room. Both worked to hide the concern from their faces as he smiled at him.

"You two must be exhausted. Did you fly all night? Why don't you go home and get some rest? You know where the spare key is," Charlie said.

"We don't want to be away from you, Dad. The doctor said they're going to do the procedure as soon as an operating room becomes available, and we want to be here. Don't worry about us, we'll be fine," Bella explained, patting her dad's hand.

It wasn't very long after that that the nurse came in to take Charlie for his procedure. Bella felt her chest tighten as they wheeled him away. "I love you, Dad!" she called, tears spilling over as she watched him leave.

"I love you too, Bells. You too, Rosie!" he called back.

Neither of them could sleep while they waited, even though both were exhausted from their all night travel. The two sisters sat together on the waiting room sofa. Renée waited nearby, but she couldn't seem to sit still. She rose periodically and paced around the room.

"Mrs. Swan?" a nurse called, pushing open the waiting room door.

"It's Mrs. Dwyer, but I'm here with Charlie Swan," Renée answered as all three women rose.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that the procedure was unsuccessful. There was too much blockage, and he was unable to get the stints in place. They're preparing Mr. Swan now for open heart surgery."

"Oh, no," Bella whispered, her hand flying to her mouth.

"The doctor will come and talk to you more after the procedure. But you need to know that the surgery can at least four hours. You all should go home and rest." The nurse smiled sympathetically and patted Rosalie's arm before leaving the three women alone.

"Oh, your poor father," Renée said, wringing her hands. Bella was glad to see that, despite all of the bad blood that there had been between her parents, they still came together in a time of crisis. "You girls should go back to the hotel. Phil and I booked a two bedroom suite so that you could stay with us."

Rosalie and Bella looked at each other. Neither of them wanted to leave their father, but there was nothing they could do for the next few hours. They decided they might as well go and shower and change clothes while their father was in surgery.

Renée ensured that the hospital had each of their cell phone numbers in case there was any news before they returned, and then she drove the girls back to her hotel room. Phil was waiting for them with hot food, a small miracle given the early hour and the size of Port Angeles. The girls took turns showering, and then picked at their food. Both were anxious to return to the hospital and receive news of their father's surgery.

As they waited, Bella decided to try to call Edward. She slipped into the second bedroom of the suite. The room was dark, and she didn't bother to turn on the light as she sat on the edge of the bed. She dialed his number and closed her eyes as she listened to the sound of the phone connecting, and then ringing.

"Bella," he breathed when he picked up on the second ring. Bella smiled at the sound of his voice. She could literally feel her heart rate slowing and some of the stress and tension leaving her body. "I'm so glad to hear from you. I wanted to call you, but I wasn't sure where you were, and I didn't want to disturb you. Are you okay?"

"Hi, Edward. I'm okay. We're in Port Angeles. They tried to put a stint in my dad's heart, but it was too clogged. He's in open heart surgery now. We're waiting to hear from the doctor." She took a deep breath, but it didn't seem to help. The stress and fear returned, and her next words came out in a sob. "I miss you so much. I wish you were here."

"Oh, baby. Sshhh... I miss you more than you can imagine. I wish I was there, too. I'm going to work on that today, okay? You just need to hold on for a little while longer. I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?" Edward said, his voice soothing.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I don't mean to put pressure on you. I'm just so scared."

"You're not putting any pressure on me, love. I want to be there with you more than anything. I just need to work out how to do it."

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you, Bella."

Feeling somewhat soothed, Bella hung up with Edward and went to join her mother and sister in the living room.

The sun was just peeking over the mountains when Renee's cell phone rang. "Hello," she said nervously. "Okay, thanks. We'll be right there." She flipped the phone shut and turned to look at the two eager faces that were watching her every move. "They're done with the surgery. The nurse said everything went well, but she didn't have a lot of details. She said the doctor would have more for us when we got there."

Bella nodded and grabbed her purse. The three women departed, and a few minutes later they were waiting for the doctor to come out to talk to them. Bella felt her heart rate accelerate when he appeared, wiping his hands on his scrubs. Once again, she wished more than anything that Edward could have been here with her in that moment.

"Charlie is out of surgery now. He's in the recovery room. Things went fairly well. I ended up having to do a triple bypass. He had three blocked arteries. We took a vein from his leg and used it to replace the damaged arteries in his heart."

"When can we see him?" Rosalie asked anxiously.

"Well, he's in recovery now. This is a very critical time for him. We're keeping a close eye on him for the next few hours. Once he's a little more stable, you'll be able to see him. It'll probably be a few hours."

The next few hours were long and tedious. Renée kissed her daughters on their cheeks and told them she'd be back later. She tried to get them to come back to the hotel to get some sleep, but both Rosalie and Bella refused. They wanted to be close by in case they were able to see their father sooner than the doctor had originally said.

The girls spent their time in the waiting room perusing magazines without really reading them and drifting in and out of sleep. After a couple of hours, the nurses took pity on them and brought them some blankets.

Bella had just drifted off to sleep when she felt a soft shake on her shoulder. She was so exhausted that she didn't immediately respond.

"Bella," a rough voice whispered close to her ear. Slowly she stirred, her sluggish mind fighting against being awakened. "Bella," the voice whispered again, more insistent this time.

Finally, remembering where she was, Bella's eyes flew open, and she sat straight up. If she had been startled before, it was nothing compared to the shock that flooded her when her eyes finally landed on the person who had been calling her name. She had expected it to be one of the nurses or doctors. In the back of her mind, she had even thought that it might have somehow been Edward who greeted her. The person standing before her was none of these people. He was the last person she thought she would see in the Port Angeles Hospital waiting room.

"James," she breathed as she looked up at him, still blinking in disbelief.

"Hi Bella," he said, smiling down at her.


	20. Chapter 19: Sofas & Morning Sickness

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 19: Sofas and Morning Sickness

Edward was lost again. He was spiraling downward once more. She was gone, and he was stuck in a nightmare. He couldn't see any escape in sight. He was drowning, and the only time he was able to surface for air was when she called. The first time she called, he had literally felt like a blind man who was able to see the sun for the first time. He had been so worried about her, and he had felt so helpless without her. He hadn't wanted to call her and interrupt her time with her family, but at the same time, the need to at least hear her voice had driven him nearly insane.

Then he had finally heard from her, and it was as though the sun broke through the clouds. The instant calm and relief that he felt at the sound of her voice was amazing. She had cried, and his heart had broken as he heard the desperation in her voice. He wished more than anything that he could have been with her. It took all of his resolve not to jump on a plane the moment they hung up. But then he remembered Tanya and his promise to her. There was no way he could abandon her right then, even if every fiber of his being was aching to be with Bella again.

The thought of Tanya made the guilt churn in his stomach. He longed for a way to tell Bella, to relieve himself of the guilt he felt. But as he listened to her speak of her father and her concern for his health, he could hear the stress and the anxiety in her voice. He knew there was no way he could tell her right then. As he hung up the phone, he resolved that as soon as he received the news that her father was more stable, he would tell her. Telling her over the phone would not be ideal, but the thought of prolonging the inevitable did not appeal to Edward either. The sooner he told her, the better.

That night, Bella called again to tell him that her father had come out of surgery and was doing well. He listened to the change in her voice, and he smiled along with her as she described how he was awake and coherent, and the doctors had high hopes for a full recovery. Something in her tone still sounded slightly off, but he couldn't put his finger on it, and decided it was probably just the added stress she was dealing with. Shrugging his concerns off, he waited for the right time to tell her his news. He waited for the opening he needed, but the longer he waited, the harder it became to make himself say the words he needed to say. How could he dampen her spirits when they were finally lifted for the first time since this whole mess began? After wishing her a good night and telling her he loved her, he hung up the phone. He sat in stunned silence, unable to believe that he had let another opportunity to clear the air between them pass by.

He lay awake that night for a long time, thinking about how he was going to tell her. He also thought about how he was going to get to her. It had only been a day since she left, but he couldn't stand the thought of being away from her any longer. He would have to work something out with Tanya so that he could go and be with Bella. He would talk to Tanya. She would understand. He would work out something with the hospital so that he could be gone for a few days. He had some vacation time left, even after the two weeks he had frittered away that was supposed to be his honeymoon. He resolved that in the morning he would pay a visit to both Tanya and his boss, and then he would fly out to be with Bella. When he got there, he would break the news about the baby to her. She would be upset, but surely she would understand his reasons for keeping the news from her for as long as he did. They would spend some time with her family until her father was recovered enough, and then they would leave together. Then, they could make permanent plans to be together.

He was lost in these thoughts when his phone rang, jarring him back to reality. Startled and worried about Bella, he glanced at the clock. It was entirely too late for social calls. He was surprised when he checked the caller ID.

"Tanya? What's going on? Why are you calling so late?"

"Edward." Her voice was low, and it sounded as if she were in pain. The sound made Edward sit straight up in bed.

"What is it Tanya? Are you alright? Is the baby alright?"

"I'm so sick, Edward. The baby is fine, but I can't keep anything down, and I'm so sick. I'm all alone, Edward." Her voice broke into pitiful sobs, and Edward couldn't help feeling sorry for her.

"I'm sorry, Tanya, what can I do?"

"Can you come over? I hate to ask you, but I didn't know who else to call," she sobbed.

"No, it's fine. Of course you should call me. Yes, I'll be right over. I'll bring you some medicine too, okay?"

"Okay, Edward. Thank you. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be silly. I'll see you in a few minutes."

With a sigh, he pushed all thoughts of Bella aside and pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt. Once he was dressed, he climbed into his car and began the drive through the dark Chicago streets to the house that he used to share with Tanya. He stopped at an all night drug store and picked up some anti-nausea medicine that was safe for pregnant women, some saltine crackers, and some clear soda.

Tanya answered the door in her bathrobe; her strawberry curls a jumbled mess around her head. She looked at him through tear streaked bleary eyes, and she looked so pitiful he couldn't help but pull her into a hug.

He steered her inside to the kitchen where he sat her down at the table and made her take the medicine. When she kept that down without any problem, he made her sip some of the soda and nibble on the crackers. She was able to keep all of this down, and seemed to be feeling better now that Edward was there.

"I hope Bella didn't mind you coming over here," Tanya said quietly, looking at the table.

"Actually, Bella left to go home for a little while," Edward said. For some reason, he was unwilling to discuss Bella with Tanya. But he decided he may as well be honest. "Her father had a heart attack, and she went home to be with him."

"Oh." Tanya didn't seem to have much to say about the matter.

"Well, you seem like you're feeling better now. Would you like to try and sleep?" Edward asked, happy to change the subject.

Tanya nodded and stood up. "Edward?" Her voice was unsure. He hummed his response as he cleaned up the soda and crackers. "Would you mind...staying?" He raised his eyebrows in surprise, and when she saw his expression, she hurried on. "Just because I don't really feel like being alone, and if Bella isn't in town anyway, you have no reason to rush home. You could just sleep on the couch. I'd just feel better knowing you were here."

He considered her words for a moment. "Alright. If it will make you feel better, I'll stay."

Tanya smiled. "Thanks. That means a lot to me. A lot of guys wouldn't do what you're doing. Thank you."

Edward felt a twinge of guilt at her words. Only a few hours ago he had been plotting a way to get out of going with Tanya to her appointment, now she was praising his dedication. He took a deep breath. "Listen, Tanya, I meant what I said earlier. I am going to be there for you. We're going to do this together. If that means that you need me to sleep on the couch so that you can sleep more comfortably, then that's what I'll do. We're in this together."

He reached out and pulled her into an embrace. It felt all wrong. She didn't fit the way Bella did, and he found himself wondering how he had never noticed before how awkward she felt in his arms. She latched her arms around his waist and didn't seem to want to let go. After a moment, he gently pulled her shoulders back.

"Okay, I'll be right out here if you need me, okay?"

Tanya nodded and turned to walk back to the bedroom. After she had left, Edward finished putting things in the kitchen away, pulled the extra pillow and blanket out of the linen closet and settled himself in on the couch. The sofa was hard and modern and very uncomfortable. It was too short for his tall frame, and his feet hung over one end. He did his best though, taking comfort in the fact that his presence was helping Tanya get through a difficult situation.

Finally, he drifted off to sleep. He slept fitfully for a few hours, but was awakened by the sound of Tanya calling his name from the bedroom. He shook the sleep from his head, stood, and made his way to the bedroom.

He found Tanya in the bathroom, bent over the toilet, retching and coughing into the bowl.

"Oh, Tanya." He rushed to her side and gathered her hair back to keep it from getting dirty. She retched a few more times before reaching up and pulling on the handle to flush the toilet. She sat up and wiped a hand over her mouth.

"Ugh," she whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"So much for the medicine making everything better," Edward sighed. "Come on. Are you ready to go back to bed?"

She nodded and stood up, clutching Edward's shoulder for support. He grabbed her around her waist and led her back to the bed. He pulled the covers back and helped her climb in. After she was settled, he pulled the covers over her and pushed her hair out of her eyes.

"Edward?" she asked, her voice raspy from being sick. "Will you stay?"

"I already told you, I'm not going anywhere."

"No, I mean, will you stay in here? Will you lie next to me?" Her voice was still rough and tears ran down her cheeks, landing on her pillow.

"Of course," he said, immediately feeling awkward at the thought of being back in the bed the two had shared for so many years. Feeling selfish, he pushed those feelings aside and moved around to his old side of the bed. He carefully climbed in, trying to disturb the mattress as little as possible.

"Thanks," Tanya smiled at him from her side of the bed.

The bed was large enough that they weren't touching each other as they lay in the dark. Edward began to drift off to sleep again, despite the awkwardness he felt at being in Tanya's bed. The uneasiness in his stomach was off set by the increased comfort he felt at being able to stretch out, rather than being cramped on the tiny couch.

He was awoken a short time later when Tanya stirred in her sleep. She rolled toward him, and suddenly, she was resting her head on his shoulder, her arm draped over his chest. He froze as the length of her body made contact with his. Again, she felt wrong in his arms. She smelled wrong. He longed for the girl who felt and smelled so amazingly right. He was about to move her when she whimpered, and he realized she was sound asleep. For the hundredth time that night, he was besieged by guilt, so instead he did nothing, letting the woman who was carrying his child lie, unhindered across his chest, pressing herself against him in her sleep.


	21. Chapter 20: Truth & Consequences

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 20: Truth and Consequences

"James? What are you doing here?" she asked. Next to her, Rosalie stirred and bristled immediately when she realized who had awoken her. She stayed silent, however, as she shot daggers at James from her place next to Bella.

"Ben called me," he said simply, as if the answer should have been obvious.

And really, it should have been. Bella and James had all the same friends from college, some of whom were from Forks. In a town the size of Forks, it didn't take long for news to spread. Especially when the news had to do with the town's chief of police.

"Besides," James said, shrugging, "Charlie and I have always gotten along. I knew he'd want me here with him, even if you and I aren't together right now."

Bella couldn't help but shudder slightly at the phrase he ended with. Right now. She decided that it wasn't the time to tell him that she would have rather died a horrible, painful death than be with him. Instead, she nodded and told him that Charlie would be touched that he came.

Touched turned out to be an understatement. When the doctor finally allowed them to see Charlie, his face lit up like a Christmas tree as James walked in behind Rosalie and Bella.

"James! Is that you?" Charlie whispered, wincing in pain as he turned to look at the trio entering his room.

"Hey Charlie, what the hell are you doing in here? Let's go home, man," James said, waltzing up to Charlie's bed as if he were family.

"That's what I keep telling them, but they don't listen to me," Charlie grumbled.

"How are you doing really, Charlie?" James asked, his tone softer.

"I'm okay. It hurts, but I'm okay."

Bella's heart ached when she saw her father's pale form lying on the bed under the bright, warming lights. He was pale and covered with several blankets. He was hooked up to even more machines than he had been earlier.

"Dad, you need to rest. Don't try to talk," Bella said, cutting off any further conversation between the two men.

After that, James took the hint and backed off, choosing to sit in a chair in the corner as Bella and Rosalie hovered around their father, trying to ensure that he had everything he needed.

Soon, Charlie drifted off to sleep, still under the influence of the anesthesia. Exhausted, Bella settled in on the small sofa in the back of the room.

James came to sit beside her. "Bella, you're exhausted," he whispered, glancing at Charlie to make sure his words had not woken him.

"I'm fine," she said, unwilling to speak to James any more than necessary. She was glad that he was concerned about her father, but his presence did nothing but complicate things for her.

"Have you eaten? Let me buy you lunch."

"I'm not hungry," Bella insisted. But her stomach rumbled and gave her away.

James raised one eyebrow at her. "Come on, Bella. We need to talk anyway."

The last thing she wanted to do was talk to James, but she was too tired to argue. So instead, she sighed, picked up her purse, and followed James down to the cafeteria. Bella picked out a sandwich and a bottle of water. When she reached for her wallet, James insisted on paying. Bella raised her eyebrows but thanked him as they found a table.

Bella's head seemed to be in a fog as she sat, picking at her sandwich. James didn't seem to notice.

"So, what have you been up to?"

She shrugged. "Working mostly."

"How is work going?"

Bella set her bottle of water down and sighed before looking at James. "Look, James. It's really nice of you to come and see my father. I know he really appreciates it. But I have to ask you: why are you here?"

James looked puzzled for a moment before smiling at her. "I don't know what you're talking about. I came because I'm concerned about Charlie."

"Bullshit," Bella said simply, leveling a steady gaze at him.

His eyes flashed, and he took a deep breath. Bella knew him well enough to know what he was thinking. She had never spoken to him that way before, and it was obvious he wasn't pleased by it. He glared back at her, obviously attempting to intimidate her, but it didn't work. She gazed right back at him, never even blinking as she raised one eyebrow. Edward was right. She was a different person than she had been a few months ago. Her freedom, combined with Edward's love and support, made her a stronger person and gave her the confidence she needed to stand up to James.

After a moment, James looked down at the table and sighed. "Look, Bella. I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm going to let it slide because I know how worried you are about Charlie."

She recognized the slight edge in his voice and it made her smile. There was a time when that tone would have sent her scurrying about trying to appease him. But now, it just made her smile and shake her head.

"My concern for my father has nothing to do with you, James," she said evenly. "I just want to know what you think you're doing coming here uninvited." James stared at her for a moment, but said nothing, so she continued. "I mean, we haven't seen each other for three months, and you think it's alright for you just to show up out of the blue? The last time I saw you, you were yelling and screaming at me like a mad man. Did you honestly think that I'd want you to come here?"

James narrowed his eyes at her. "Fine, Bella. You don't have to believe me. But the truth is I'm here for your father. Not for you, not for anyone else. Now, I did think that maybe you would appreciate someone by your side during this time, but apparently I was wrong. You'd rather be alone." His voice was sharp, and his words were clipped.

It was Bella's turn to bristle at his words and his implication. "I'm not alone," she said before thinking.

James raised one eyebrow, his expression turning amused. "Oh really? Are you telling me you're with someone, then?"

Bella immediately regretted her words. She wasn't ashamed of her relationship with Edward by any means, but she didn't want to explain herself to James. "Just forget it, okay," she had mumbled, fidgeting with her water bottle.

James smiled triumphantly. "That's what I thought."

Bella rolled her eyes and sighed. "You know what? You really haven't changed. Not that I expected you would."

He laughed lightly, leaning back in his chair. "Well, I wish I could say the same thing about you. But you've changed quite a bit." He gazed at her appraisingly for a moment before she shook her head in disgust and stood up from the table.

"I've got to go check on my father. Feel free to stay out here as long as you need to." Without a backwards glance, she turned on her heel and walked out of the cafeteria.

But she didn't go back to her father's room immediately. Instead, she turned and walked to the hospital's designated smoking area. Her conversation with James had left her feeling anxious and on edge. She desperately needed a cigarette. She fished one out of her purse, grateful that she no longer had to find creative hiding places for them. She smoked it and felt immediately better. She was just considering lighting up a second time, when her phone rang. She smiled as she glanced at the caller ID.

"Hi, baby," she said, closing her eyes so she could better picture his face.

"Well, you sound much better than the last time I spoke with you. How's everything going?" His voice was warm and smooth and sent chills up and down her spine.

"Talking to you always makes me feel better."

He chuckled. "Well, I'm glad I have that affect on you, love. How's your father?"

Bella gave him a detailed explanation of her father's condition, knowing that, as a doctor, he would appreciate and understand it.

"Well, it sounds like everything is going well. The doctors there obviously know what they're doing. How's everyone else holding up?" he asked when she had finished.

She was touched by his concern for people he'd never even met. Thinking about how everyone else was doing reminded her of James, and she sighed. She needed to tell him about James. Yet as she sat there, describing her mother's erratic behavior, and how strong Rosalie had been throughout the entire ordeal, she couldn't bring herself to tell him about James. She knew deep down that she had done nothing wrong, that it wasn't her fault that James had shown up uninvited, but she couldn't help the irrational fear that flooded her.

So she said nothing. She told him she loved him, and he assured her that he was making plans to come to Port Angeles. Then he was gone, and she sat there slightly stunned, knowing she had made a big mistake in not telling him the truth.

Bella sighed, ran a hand over her tired face, and stood to go back inside. She made a promise to herself that the next time she spoke with Edward, she would tell him all about James.

When she entered her father's room, Rose lifted her head from the chair where she had been dozing on and off. She looked at Bella questioningly, but Bella just shook her head at her sister as she moved to her father's bed. He was still sleeping, having been once again sedated by the nurses. Rose stood and came to stand by her sister's side. She rested her head on Bella's shoulder while looping her arms around Bella's waist. Bella leaned into her sister, and the two stood gazing down at their sick father for a while.

"Well," Rose finally sighed, releasing Bella to stand up straight. "We might as well go get some sleep."

Bella nodded in agreement, and the sisters gathered their things. Exhausted, Bella couldn't wait to climb into bed at her mother's hotel room. The two girls were on their way to the waiting room to call their mother to pick them up when James strolled around the corner. Bella groaned inwardly.

"Where are you two going?"

"Back to Phil's hotel," Rosalie answered, her voice hard as she eyed James warily. She had obviously not forgotten James' most recent encounters with Emmett.

"Let me give you a ride," James said.

Both girls tried to protest, but James insisted. When it came right down to it, both of them were too tired to put up much of a fight, so after a few feeble protests on their part, the two sisters soon shuffled after James to his waiting rental car.

At the hotel, James insisted on walking them to their rooms to ensure their safe arrival. Bella thanked him, but did not invite him in. She was grateful for the ride, but really just wanted to climb into bed.

Inside, she and Rose changed into their pajamas, and both climbed into bed. There was a pull out couch available in the living room, but neither had the energy to pull it out. Besides, they had spent many years as children sharing a bed. This was nothing new.

Bella's last thoughts before she faded into unconsciousness were of Edward. She wondered what he was doing. She wondered if he missed her half as much as she missed him. And last of all, she wondered why she hadn't thought to call him again before she crawled into bed.

It seemed like only minutes later that Bella was being shaken awake. For the second time that day, she opened her eyes to find James standing over her. This time, however, she was immediately awake.

"What the hell are you doing here? Who let you in?" she hissed, sitting up abruptly. She looked down at Rosalie's still-sleeping figure.

"Your mom let me in. She and Phil were on their on their way back to the hospital, and I told her I needed to talk to you." James' face was hard, and for some reason, Bella felt a pit of fear in her stomach as she followed James out of the room and into the empty living room. She was about to protest when James held out her cell phone. "You left this in my car."

Still puzzled, Bella reached for the phone. "Thank you, I—"

He interrupted. "It rang, and I thought it might be you looking for your phone, so I answered it."

Apparently groggier than she had first realized, Bella struggled to keep up with the conversation. "It wasn't me who called. I didn't even realize it was missing."

"I know that, Bella." His voice was exasperated. "It was Edward."

"Oh," Bella said, unsure of what else to say.

"So, you're with him now?" James asked.

Bella sighed. She didn't want to go down this path with him. She didn't want to tell him about Edward, it was none of his business. But if James was going to insist, then she had a few things of her own to bring up.

"Listen, I really don't think that you have any reason to be upset with me. First of all, you and I aren't together anymore, and second of all, you are the one who lied to me in the first place and told me that Edward had married Tanya," Bella said, her voice rising as she spoke.

James shook his head. "Bella, that's not it."

But Bella cut across him. "I can't believe you answered my phone. What did you say to him? I swear, if you made it look like your presence here is anything more than an unwelcome intrusion—"

"Bella!" James shouted.

Bella stopped speaking and glared at James for a moment. "What?"

"There's something you should know." He waited to make sure she wasn't going to interrupt him again. Bella rolled her eyes but motioned for him to continue. "Tanya's pregnant."

Bella furrowed her eyebrows. "So?"

James sighed and looked at her as if she was a small child. "So, the baby is Edward's."

Bella stood, staring at James for a moment. Finally, she spoke. "No. There's no way," she said simply, shaking her head.

James raised his eyebrows at her. "You think so, huh? What makes you so sure? If he'll cheat on her with you, why wouldn't he cheat on you, sweetheart?" His tone was mocking, causing Bella to clench her fists.

"First of all, he didn't cheat on Tanya with me. We were never together until very recently. Second of all, there's just no way that the baby is Edward's."

James sighed and then shrugged. "Okay, Bella. I'm just letting you know what Tanya told me."

Bella glared at him for another moment before turning on her heel and stalking to the bathroom where she quickly shut the door behind her. Once inside, she slid down the wall until she was sitting on the cool tile floor. She listened to the sounds of James letting himself out, and then she looked at the phone James had returned to her. Her hands shook slightly as she dialed his number. She knew it couldn't be true, but she needed to hear it for herself.

"Bella," Edward's voice was a mixture of concern and relief when he answered. "What the hell is going on there? Why did James answer your phone? Why didn't you tell me he was there?"

Bella closed her eyes. "Not now, Edward. I need to know something. James says that Tanya is pregnant. Is that true?"

Edward was silent for a moment. "Yes."

Bella felt the pit of fear in her stomach grow larger. "Is it yours?"

There was another moment of silence, and then a sigh. "Yes."

Bella tried to stifle the sob that bubbled up her throat. "Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered.

"Oh, Bella. I wanted to tell you, I really did, but I found out on the night you found out about your dad, and I didn't want to add to that."

Bella took a deep breath and leaned her head against the door. "What do you mean you just found out? Why would Tanya wait so long to tell you? She's got to be, what? Four months along at least?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

"Edward? Are you there?"

Edward sighed. "Yeah, I'm here. I didn't want to tell you any of this over the phone."

"What is it? Please just tell me," Bella whispered, her voice rough with tears.

"Tanya is only two months along."

Bella's head swam for a moment. She thought she must have heard him wrong. "What?" she asked.

"Tanya is only two months along," he repeated. "That's why she just told me."

"But two months ago...Well, I mean, we weren't together...but..." Bella faded off as she tried to wrap her head around what this latest piece of information meant.

"Apparently we met up at a bar. I was drunk. I don't remember any of it. I didn't even remember that night at all until Tanya came to me and told me she was pregnant."

"Do you remember it now?" Bella asked, praying that Tanya had made the whole thing up.

"Bits and pieces."

Bella closed her eyes again and drew in a shaky breath.

"I'm so sorry. First of all, I should have told you. Second, I'm just sorry about the whole thing. It was just a really dark time for me."

Bella's laugh was sharp and hard. "A dark time for you, Edward? Really? Listen, it was no bed of roses for me either, but I wasn't passing the time by screwing my ex."

"Bella, I—" he began, but she cut him off.

"No, seriously. Was it all just a lie? The whole thing about how lost you were during the months we were apart? Because it wasn't a lie for me."

Edward's voice was anguished, the sound breaking Bella's heart, and almost her anger. "No. It wasn't a lie. I made a mistake. It was a horrible mistake, and I'm going to be paying for it now for the rest of my life. And you are going to be paying for it now too, and for that I am truly sorry. Please believe me."

Bella leaned her head against the door, knocking it softly against the wood several times. She couldn't help but hope that if she knocked hard enough, maybe she'd wake up from this nightmare she found herself in. Was it really just two days ago that she'd been holed up with Edward in her hotel room thinking that her life couldn't get any better?

"Bella?" He sounded hesitant and unsure. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here," she sighed.

"I need to see you. I'll get a flight out tomorrow morning, okay. I'm going to come there, and we can talk."

Bella felt conflicted. On one hand, she wanted nothing more than to see Edward. She missed his touch and his smell and the way she felt when he held her. On the other hand, she felt so hurt and betrayed. She knew that rationally, she had no reason to be upset with him. She and Edward were not a couple during his fateful night with Tanya. However, she couldn't help but feel betrayed. They had spent the majority of her time in Chicago discussing how much they had missed each other during their time apart, and how broken they had both been, and now to find out that Edward had spent that time seeking comfort in Tanya's arms; It was almost more than Bella could bear. Not to mention the fact that Edward's actions would now tie him to Tanya in a very permanent way.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Bella said, her voice sad and weary. "I think I need some time. I know that's probably not fair to you, but I don't feel like I can think right now, and you coming here is not going to help. Just give me some time, please."

Edward was silent for a few moments. "Okay. Whatever you need. I'll be here, okay?"

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Bella."


	22. Chapter 21: Hallways & Hospitals

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 21: Hallways and Hospitals

Edward sighed and leaned his head back against the pillow. Once more, he tried to relax enough to let sleep overtake him, but once more, it eluded him. He punched the pillow in frustration as he replayed his conversation with Bella again. The worst part was that he had no defense. He couldn't blame her for being upset with him. He had screwed up. There was no getting around it. He wanted to call her again, he wanted to beg her to understand, but he couldn't. He felt helpless as he laid there in the dark.

Finally, when he couldn't take it anymore, he grabbed his phone, glancing at clock as he dialed her number. Would she even answer? Or would she allow his call to go straight to voicemail?

"Hello?" While the voice was female, it was not Bella's.

"Um, hi. May I speak to Bella?" he asked, his tone hesitant.

"Is this Edward?" The woman's voice was brusque, and Edward was slightly intimidated.

"Yes. Is this Rose?" he asked.

"Yes. Bella is not able to speak at the moment. She'll call you when she's ready." Rosalie's tone left no room for argument.

"Okay, could you give her a message for me?" he asked.

Rosalie sighed. "Okay, what is it?"

"Tell her that I'm sorry, and that I understand. Tell her that I'll always be here for her."

Rose's voice was softer when she responded. "Okay, Edward. Listen, you know she really does care about you, right?"

"I know she does. I love her. More than anything," Edward answered eagerly.

"Then make this right," Rosalie said before hanging up.

Edward sat in the darkness for a moment, pondering her words. As he thought about what she had said, a plan began forming in his mind. The longer he sat there on the edge of his bed, the more solid it became. He had to get to her. If he could just see her, he knew he could make everything all right.

With renewed purpose, he grabbed his suitcase and began haphazardly throwing clothing into it. As he packed, he dialed. First, he called and booked a flight to Seattle, then he made the call he was dreading.

"Hello?" Tanya answered, her voice sleepy.

"Hi Tanya, sorry to call so late. Listen, I need to go out of town. I just wanted to let you know. I shouldn't be gone for more than a few days, but it means I'll miss your doctor's appointment."

"Where are you going?" she asked, yawning.

It was the question he had hoped she wouldn't ask. He didn't want to lie, but he was sure that Tanya would be upset to learn why he would be missing her appointment.

"I'm going to Seattle," he said. It wasn't a lie. She could draw her own conclusions as to why it was he was going there.

"Okay, well, if you have to go, I guess. There will be other appointments that you can come to. Don't worry about it."

Slightly surprised by her reaction, Edward thanked her and promised her he'd be back within a few days and would call her when he returned. After he hung up with her, he called his boss at home, and then a taxi, completing his packing while he waited for it to arrive.

As the taxi drove through the crowded city streets to the airport, Edward thought about what he was going to say to Bella. He also thought about the fact that James was there with her. Edward didn't doubt Bella's feelings for him, nor did he question her loyalty, but in Edward's eyes, James' presence in Bella's life could result in nothing but trouble. He would be lying if he said that his anxiousness to get to Washington had nothing to do with James' unexpected arrival. Bella hadn't said anything to Edward about James being there, and when Edward had discovered it, the circumstances were hardly ideal for Edward to question her about it. But as he boarded the plane, Edward resolved that once he arrived and was able to fix things with Bella, he would deal with James.

His plane landed in Seattle, and he boarded a smaller plane to Port Angeles. During his flight, he began to wonder about how prudent it was for him to simply show up. He had no doubt he'd be able to find Bella. Port Angeles was a small town with only one hospital. He knew he'd have no trouble locating her father's room, and since he was sure Bella was never far from her dad at this point, he knew he'd find her.

But as the tiny plane rumbled and bumped through the sky, Edward doubted himself. In the first place, he'd screwed up. He'd slept with Tanya. He hadn't lied to Bella. He had spent the three months they were apart thinking about her and grieving her loss. But somehow, he'd allowed himself to sleep with Tanya. The thought was unfathomable. Then, he'd been stupid enough not to use protection, the consequence of which he was going to be paying for the rest of his life. Was it fair of him to ask Bella to pay for this mistake also? He knew deep down it wasn't.

However, the thought of walking away from Bella, of leaving her, of not having her in his life anymore, was more than he could bear. Edward knew then that, despite his fear that he had done irreparable damage to their relationship, he would do everything in his power to make it up to her. He had no idea if he would be about to do enough, but he would try. She could push him away, but he would not leave unless she asked him to.

The plane landed uneventfully in Port Angeles, and at the rental car counter, he inquired as to how to get to the hospital. A new wave of nerves washed over him as he entered the front doors of the small hospital. The woman at the front desk directed him to Charlie Swan's room, and soon he found himself walking down the tiled hallway toward the room where he hoped he would find her.

He hesitated at the doorway, listening to the muted voices inside. He strained to pick out Bella's. As he was attempting to steel his courage and round the corner, he heard someone approach from behind him.

"Edward?" Her voice was colored with surprise, and he would have recognized it anywhere. The emotions that coursed through him at the sound of it were enough to cause him to stagger back slightly, leaning against the wall for support. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before turning to face her.

"Bella," he breathed when his eyes finally found her. He wanted to cry out at the sight of her. Was it possible that she had grown more beautiful in his absence? His heart clenched painfully.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" She sounded breathless and surprised, but beyond that, Edward was unable to read her emotions.

"I needed to see you." He ran his hand through his hair, more unsure than ever that he would be able to say the right words to let her know how sorry he was. "I know you said you needed time, but I just had to see you." He paused, and when she continued to say nothing, he asked, "Do you want me to go?" He waited, breath held in nervous anticipation.

After a moment, Bella's expression broke, her face crumpling in a way that tore at Edward's gut. She scrubbed a hand across her face and sighed loudly. "No. I don't want you to go. All I've wanted since I got here was for you to be here with me. But there are just so many things wrong right now." She paused and looked up at him, the pain and the betrayal that she felt shining in her eyes.

Edward loathed himself for being the cause of her pain. He would have given anything to take it away. His hands itched to reach out to her, to envelop her in his arms. His lips longed to feel her sweet softness. But he stopped himself, not sure if he had the right to comfort her anymore.

"I know. I know that I've hurt you and that what I did was inexcusable. But I'm here because you're hurting. I'm here because I had to see you. I had to try and find a way to make you understand how sorry I am. You're my life now, Bella."

She closed her eyes and dropped her head. "Except I'm not, Edward. There's no way that I can be now. Not once Tanya has the baby."

Pain and fear stabbed his heart once more. Part of him longed to cry out in objection. But the other part of him recognized the truth of her words. The baby would tie his and Tanya's lives together in a very permanent way. There was no denying that.

Bella sighed again. "Look, I'm not saying that I don't want to be with you, I'm just saying," she paused for a minute, as if trying to find the words she needed. "I'm just saying that it's going to take some time. I'm trying to be realistic about this, and I would like it if you could be too."

Edward considered her words for a moment before nodding. As much as it pained him to admit it, he knew she was right. But he also knew that he had to find a way to strike a balance. If Bella could find it in her heart to forgive all his mistakes, he would find a way to have her in his life, despite Tanya and the baby.

"Okay. I understand, and I'm not asking anything from you, except that you give me a chance to explain and to show you how sorry I am." He paused, his emotions overwhelming him for a moment. "I love you." His voice was a whisper, but it seemed to echo in the empty hallway.

Bella's eyes filled with tears, and she looked away from him again. "I love you too, Edward. That's what makes all of this so hard."

"I know."

The two stood silently in the hallway for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts. After a moment, Bella seemed to recover herself slightly. "Well, now that you're here, would you like to meet my dad?"

Edward nodded and worked to hide the nervousness he felt at the thought of meeting her father. In a small part of his brain, he wondered where James was, but he pushed the thought aside as Bella moved through the doorway into her father's room.

"Hi, Dad. How are you feeling?" she asked as she approached her father's bed. Edward lingered near the doorway, unsure of himself.

"I'm doing okay, Bells."

"Good. There's someone I'd like for you to meet." Bella turned and motioned for Edward to come closer. "This is Edward Cullen. Edward, my father, Charlie Swan."

Edward approached the bed and stuck his hand out. The older man gripped it with one of his bandage and tube covered ones.

"It's very nice to meet you, Mr. Swan. Although, I do wish it was under better circumstances. How are you feeling?"

"It's nice to meet you, too. But please, call me Charlie. I'm feeling better. I'd like to go home, but these damn doctors..." Charlie faded off, and Edward imagined that he probably remembered Edward's profession.

"Yes, I do know how they can be," Edward said, chuckling.

"Well, it's nice of you to come all this way," Charlie said, glancing between Bella and Edward.

"Well, sir, Bella is very important to me, and you're very important to her," Edward answered.

His answer seemed to satisfy Charlie. He nodded and then said, "Well, I'm sure you two have some catching up to do. You didn't come here to hang around a sick old man all day."

Bella smiled. "That's exactly why we're here. But you need your rest. We'll check on you in a little while. Do you need anything before we go?"

When Bella had been reassured that Charlie would be fine without her for a while, she and Edward headed out into the hallway.

"Is there somewhere we can go to talk? I have a rental car," Edward asked quietly as he walked beside her. He ached to take her hand, to touch her in some way, but again, he restrained himself, unsure of her feelings.

"Yes, there's a small park nearby."

They reached the parking lot, and Edward led Bella to his car. As he reached for his keys to unlock her door, he heard the sound of a car approaching. He turned in time to see a car idling across the aisle from where his car was parked. The window was rolled down and James sat in the driver's seat, a confident smirk on his face.

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up." The bravado in James' voice made Edward's jaw clench and almost unconsciously he moved to place himself between James and Bella.

Behind him, Bella sighed. "James, what are you doing here? We talked about this. Go home."

Edward was surprised and pleased by the tone and the confidence in Bella's voice.

James feigned an innocent look. "Bella, I have been friends with your father for many years. Would you really deny me the opportunity to see him when he is in need?"

Edward suppressed the growl that was building in his throat. So that's what this was about. James was here under the pretense of Bella's father's heart attack. Edward saw through his ploy immediately, and he was pleased to see that it appeared Bella did too.

Bella sighed again and then turned her back on him. "Fine, James. Suit yourself."

Taking her cue, Edward unlocked her door and helped her in. He couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face as he moved around to the driver's side. James' expression was murderous for a moment before he hit the gas and sped away, leaving Edward and Bella alone in his car.

"You know, he's not really here for your father," Edward said quietly.

"I know," Bella said just as softly.

Edward didn't push the issue. Instead, he threw the car into gear and headed out of the parking lot. "Where to?" he asked, once they were on the road.

Bella directed him, and it wasn't long before he was pulling into the parking lot of a small, neatly maintained park. He got out and helped Bella out also, the two of them making their way over to a small bench beneath a large, shady tree.

They sat close together, but still without touching. The breeze picked up and blew pieces of Bella's long hair across her face and toward Edward. He inhaled deeply as her sweet scent reached him. Closing his eyes, he fought the urge to reach out to her. Being in her presence without touching her was a torture he knew all too well. It reminded him of their days together when they had first met.

Bella was the first one to break the silence. "I know that you didn't mean to hurt me, Edward." Her voice was low, and Edward had to strain to hear it over the sound of the leaves rustling in the breeze. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me, but you did."

"I know I did. I don't know what to say about that, except that I am so sorry. I wasn't thinking. I was just so…" he paused, searching for the words to adequately describe the pain he felt. "…lost without you." He looked over at her, and saw her eyes flash, so he continued hastily. "I know it's not an excuse. Please. I'm so very sorry."

Bella sighed and was quiet for a moment. "The thing is, I know just how lost you were, Edward, because I was lost too. But just because someone is lost or devastated, it doesn't give them the right to behave any way they would like. There are consequences for those actions." She paused and cast a mournful glance at Edward. "I know I don't need to tell you about consequences."

"No, you don't. I'm going to be living with those consequences for the rest of my life. I can't undo what I've done. Believe me, I wish I could." He stopped, running his hands through his hair, pulling it in frustration. "I don't know how to fix this. I don't know if anything I say or do is going to be good enough to make you see how sorry I am, and how much I love you."

He felt tears prick the corners of his eyes, but he didn't try to stop them. He twisted to face her, feeling bold enough for the first time since he'd arrived to reach out and touch her. He took her face in his hands, holding her tenderly. He groaned at the familiar electricity that sparked in his fingertips at her touch.

Bella's eyes fluttered closed and he felt her inhale quickly. He allowed himself a small smile at the thought that, despite everything, she could still feel their connection too.

After a moment, she sighed, reaching up to pull Edward's hands away from her face, her eyes apologetic as she severed their contact.

"I just don't know how it's going to work, Edward. I mean, I understand that there are lots of people who have children with other people and manage to maintain relationships. But it just seems like there is so much working against us." She paused and sighed again, the pain and agony etched into her face. "Maybe we're not supposed to be together." Her last words were spoken in a soft whisper, but she might as well have physically slapped Edward.

Before she had even finished speaking, Edward was shaking his head. "No," he said, the volume and tone of his voice causing Bella to jump slightly. "I'm sorry, Bella, but I'm not going to accept that. I know we have challenges, I know there are things that seem impossible for us to overcome. I wish I had an answer for those things, but I don't. I don't know how to fix everything. But I'll tell you what I do know: I know that I have felt drawn to you since the very first time I met you. I know that when I'm with you, everything is perfect, and when I'm not with you, nothing is right until I see you again. I know that I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, and I know that I cannot imagine what my life would be like without you."

After his speech, both were quiet for a moment. Edward didn't feel like it was possible for his heart to hurt anymore than it did. But he was proven wrong.

"I know, Edward. Everything that you're saying to me, I know. But I need you to understand something. I wasted a lot of time in a relationship that I had no business being in. It's taken me a long time to get to where I am now. You were right before, I'm not the same person I was when we first met. I know that now. But when this happened, when I found out from someone else that you had gotten Tanya pregnant, it took me right back to that place I used to be in. The place where I was afraid to stand up for myself, the place where I let James do whatever the hell he wanted. I can't be in that place anymore."

Edward nodded, understanding what she said, even though her words cut through him like a knife. The idea of being similar to James in any way was enough to make him throw up.

"I love the person you've become. I love that you don't allow anyone to walk all over you anymore. It kills me to think that I've done something to set you back. Tell me what I can do to make it right?" he pleaded.

Bella looked out across the park for a moment, lost in thought. "I don't know that you can."

Edward buried his head in his hands but said nothing. He was out of arguments. He was out of apologies. He didn't know what else he could say that would sway her. And, after listening to her reasons for not trusting him, he no was no longer sure he deserved to be able to change her mind.


	23. Chapter 22: Visitors & Voices

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 22: Visitors and Voices

She wanted to shut her mouth. She wanted to stop the words that flowed so easily from her. She wanted to turn to him on the little park bench and let him wrap his arms around her. She wanted to go back to when things were right. But as she sat there, watching the man she loved pull his hands through his hair in obvious agony, she knew she couldn't do any of those things.

All her life, Bella had let others tell her what to do. All her life, she had believed in people's best intentions, even when their actions showed otherwise. She couldn't be that girl anymore. She couldn't push her own feelings aside. She loved Edward. She knew, without a doubt, that she loved him. There was a huge part of her brain that seemed to be shouting to her about how much he loved her too. However, since this whole incident with Tanya, there was a small, but equally insistent part of her brain that kept asserting itself into her consciousness and suggesting that perhaps he didn't love her quite as much as she thought he did. After all, would he have gotten together with Tanya if he really loved her as much as he said he did? Bella wasn't sure what the answer to that question was yet.

She was uncertain of so many things lately. As she sat, looking out across the park, absent mindedly watching a group of children playing soccer, she thought back to her life before Edward. It had been so much easier for her to push her emotions down and pretend that she didn't feel the things she felt. Now, for some reason, she seemed unable to do that. Every emotion was right there, and she found herself unable to deny any of them.

Although she didn't trust Tanya, she had to admit that the root of her uneasiness over the situation lay with Edward. She couldn't help feeling betrayed. She couldn't help but be reminded of James when she thought of what had happened. While she had never outright caught James cheating on her, she was sure there had been other women while they were together. But the old Bella had ignored her suspicions, pushed aside her hurt feelings and the betrayal that she felt, and put on a brave face.

The new Bella refused to do that. It wasn't fair to her, and she knew in her heart that it wouldn't be fair to Edward in the long run. If she swallowed her feelings and never talked to him about this, chances were, eventually it would come back to haunt her. The new Bella realized that in order to be healthy and happy, she needed to be true to her feelings. She needed to have a voice in all this. Even if that meant letting Edward go.

The thought of living without him made her heart clench in a way that was so painful, she nearly gasped.

She had nearly come undone when he had told her how much he loved her and how nothing felt right if she wasn't with him. She nearly cried out and told him that she felt the same way. But she didn't. Instead, she took a deep breath and said the hardest words she'd ever had to say in her life. She told him that she didn't know. She told him that she wasn't sure if he could fix things for her.

His heartbreak had shown so clearly in his eyes that she had physically winced. At the sight of his agony, she had almost caved. She had almost backed down and told him that everything would be okay. The only thing that saved her was when he had finally torn his gaze away from hers and buried his head in his hands. That action had been the respite that she needed to steel her will power. Relieved to be out from under the intensity of his gaze, she took a deep breath.

Finally, Edward spoke. "Okay. I understand, and I don't blame you." He lifted his head again and turned to face her. She felt her breath catch as she was once again caught in the force field that was his gaze. "But I will promise you one thing, Bella. I promise that I will do everything in my power to make this up to you. I don't know how, and I don't know if it's going to be enough. But I will be able to look at you and say that I tried everything I could to make this right."

Bella felt almost burned by the intensity of his words. She found herself unable to speak. Instead, she nodded at him, her eyes wide, and her mind even more confused than ever. She was grateful when Edward didn't push her any more. The pair sat in silence for a few more minutes.

Finally, Edward sighed heavily and stood. "Come on then. Let's go back and check on Charlie." His voice was subdued, and Bella wanted more than anything to be able to know what he was thinking. Once again, she longed for the time when things had been easy and relaxed between the two of them. She ached for him to touch her. But again, the newer, more mature version of her prevailed, and she said nothing as she stood and followed him to the car.

Their silence continued as he helped her into the car. It seemed to stretch endlessly before them as he drove them back to the hospital, and, as much as she yearned to hear his voice, he remained silent, even as they walked back through the quiet hallways of the hospital to her father's room. His silence was a double edged sword, however. On the one hand it made her anxious and unsure of herself, but on the other hand, it allowed her to attempt to sort through her thoughts without the chaos that his velvet voice seemed to wreak upon her soul.

They reached her father's room and found him sleeping. She motioned to Edward, who took her cue and hung back so as not to disturb Charlie in his fitful sleep. Bella fluttered around the room for a few minutes, quietly straightening here and there, and moving things around. After a few minutes, she realized she had moved the same pillow three times. She set the pillow down on the chair, sighed, and scrubbed her hand over her face.

Edward was by her side in an instant, his inviting scent nearly overpowering her in its proximity. His expression was laced with concern as he fixed his gaze upon her. Wordlessly, he took her hand, leading her out of the room and into the hallway. She tried to ignore the relief she felt from the deliciously familiar, almost electrical zing of his touch.

"Bella," he said, breaking his silence, and Bella felt like she could breathe again. "You're exhausted. Let me take you back to your hotel room."

She considered putting up a fight for a moment, but then, as if on cue, her physical and emotional exhaustion seemed to weigh her down and she slumped against the wall. She closed her eyes and nodded weakly.

Satisfied with her answer, Edward gently placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her down the hall and to his waiting car. She allowed him to lead her, enjoying the feel of his hand on her back, even though it was interrupted by clothing.

"Where is your hotel?" he asked once they were on the road again. She gave him the directions, and in no time he was pulling into the lot.

"Do you want to come in?" she asked, looking over at him hesitantly, torn in what she hoped his answer would be.

"Do you want me to?" he asked, voicing the very question she didn't want to answer.

Bella meant to take longer to reply. She meant to think about her answer. But her heart seemed to reach up and nod her head for her. As soon as she responded, she immediately regretted it. His presence made it so much more difficult for her to think clearly. Yet, she couldn't bear the thought of being separated from him, even for a short time. If he noticed any change in her expression, he didn't comment on it. Instead, he gave her a small, slightly heartbroken smile before stepping out of the car and moving around to help her out.

"It's okay," he said softly as she climbed out of the car. "I understand. I'll give you some space. Can I take you out to dinner tonight? I'm sure you've been eating nothing but hospital cafeteria food for the past few days."

Bella nodded, looking forward to the prospect of getting away from the hospital.

"Okay, what time should I pick you up, then?" he asked, smiling at her acceptance.

They worked out a time, and Edward walked her up to the door. For a moment, Bella was afraid that if he asked to come in again, she would not be strong enough to deny him. He didn't ask, however, so Bella had nothing to worry about.

She said goodbye to him and let herself into the room, her heart breaking a little as she shut the door on his beautiful face. She decided that she needed to try and sleep before he came to pick her up again.

As she lay down in the cool, dark room, she wasn't sure if she would be able to sleep, so chaotic were her thoughts. It wasn't long, however, before she felt herself drifting off to sleep.

Bella was awoken a while later by the sound of a knock on the door. Realizing that she had fallen asleep, and thinking that she was now late for her dinner with Edward, she began rushing around the suite throwing her things together. Ridiculously eager to see him again, she wrenched the door open.

"James," she breathed her voice slightly breathless from her exertions.

"Hi Bella," James said, looking warily past her. "Is Edward with you?"

"No. He's going to be picking me up soon. What time is it?" She glanced at her watch and realized it was still very early, and Edward would not be there for another hour or so. Disappointment flooded her.

James smiled and let himself into the room, catching Bella off guard when she glanced down at her watch.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, annoyed by his presumption that, once again, he was welcome.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"I don't have anything to say to you," Bella said, working to make her voice as cold as she could. It wasn't difficult.

James looked down at her again, much as he had that day in the hospital cafeteria; as if he wasn't sure whether to be upset with her or impressed by her new-found courage. Finally, he spoke. "That's fine. You don't have to talk. Just listen."

Bella felt a pit form in her stomach as she thought back to the last time James had showed up with something to tell her. She eyed him warily. Part of her wanted to kick him out, but another part of her was morbidly interested in what he had to say. She looked at him darkly, folding her arms across her chest, waiting for him to speak.

"So, you're going to take Edward back, even though Tanya is having his baby?"

Bella heaved an irritated sigh, her shoulders rising and falling as she threw her arms down in frustration. "That really is none of your business," she hissed.

"Fine, it's none of my business. But I care about you, and I am not happy that Edward is not being honest with you."

"Edward had good reasons for not telling me about the baby sooner. You don't know the whole story," Bella said, her need to defend Edward for the very thing which she herself was angry with him for, surprising her.

James looked down at her with one eyebrow raised. "Neither do you."

She glared at him, her heart screaming for her not to take the bait. Her head had other ideas. "What do you mean?" she asked softly.

"Edward has been spending a lot of time with Tanya while you've been gone." James made his tone slightly mournful, as if relaying this information to Bella caused him great pain, but she saw though his act. He was so pleased he was almost bursting as he watched her process the information.

"Well, that doesn't surprise me." Bella worked to keep her tone even. "They're preparing to have a child together. I'm sure he's been accompanying her to doctor's visits and stuff."

James narrowed his eyes at her and shook his head. "You really don't see it, do you?"

She bristled at his thinly veiled implication that she was naïve and easily fooled.

He continued. "You are so taken with him that you're willing to forgive anything aren't you? He's really got you duped, babe." James chuckled and Bella felt her fists clench as she worked to maintain her calm.

"You don't know what you're talking about," she hissed, her voice on the verge of cracking.

"Bella, Edward has been spending the night at Tanya's. It's more than him just being there for her because of the baby." He paused, watching Bella's reaction. "Look, I've never been close to Tanya, but from what I know, this is how it's always been with them. They break up, they get back together. It's been this way for years. Nothing's changed."

Bella stumbled backwards as she felt her world tilt on its axis, the air suddenly gone from the room. Could his words be true? Was she just a distraction for Edward during his time away from Tanya?

He'd spent the night with her. The edges of her vision became tinged with black as she took deep gasping breaths, unable to get any air into her lungs.

"Bella!"

She heard James's worried voice, but it seemed to be coming from a great distance away, and she couldn't focus on the sound. Suddenly, she felt herself being lifted, and then she was sitting, leaning back against the couch.

"Are you okay?" James was leaning over her. It felt wrong having him so close to her, but she was still struggling to fight against the dizziness that was threatening to overtake her, so she was unable to do anything about it.

"I'm fine. I just got a little dizzy," she lied, sitting up slowly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted you to know the truth. You don't deserve to be lied to."

Bella glanced at him, wondering if there was more to his words than what was on the surface. She was too frazzled to examine them more closely though. Instead, she sighed and leaned back on the couch once more. How much more was she to be expected to take? How many times could her heart be broken? She wasn't sure, but something told her she was close to finding out.

"It's fine, James. I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to find out." She couldn't help the resentment that colored her tone. She knew it wasn't James' fault that Edward was keeping things from her, but it still felt like James was getting some sort of pleasure out of being the bearer of all this bad news.

James sat down next to her on the couch, and Bella groaned inwardly. "I know you're going through a rough time right now, with your dad and everything. I know that finding out that your boyfriend isn't being honest with you is the last thing you need. But I want you to know that I'm here for you." His voice was gentle, and as he finished speaking he placed his hand over hers.

Bella reacted without thinking, yanking her hand out from under his.

James narrowed his eyes at her, clenching his jaw as he watched her. "You know, it really is enough," he said after a moment.

"What are you talking about?" Bella asked, her voice rising slightly in pitch for some reason she couldn't quite identify.

"This whole thing with you and Edward. You've had your fun, but now you've gotten burned. I warned you." Indeed his voice did sound like a warning, and suddenly Bella was hyper aware of him. His eyes were dark and bore holes into her, and his jaw continued to flex in a way that made Bella's stomach flip nervously. She had seen this look from him once before. The last night they were together. The night he had hurt her.

"James, I—"

He cut her off. "I warned you that he was no good. I warned you that you'd get hurt, but you didn't listen to me. Now look where you are. This whole thing could have been avoided if you'd just listened to me." The volume of his voice was escalating with every word until, but the end of his speech, he was shouting at her.

Bella's eyes widened, and she felt paralyzed with fear as she watched him, his chest heaving with emotion after his little diatribe. She jerked backward as he moved closer to her on the couch. He was close enough now to touch her, but thankfully, he didn't.

"Bella. Don't you see. All of this is happening because we're not together anymore. We're supposed to be together. Forget about Edward. He's going to go back to Tanya anyway. They're having a kid together. It doesn't get more serious than that. You don't want to be involved. You belong with me." As he finished speaking, he moved even closer to her, placing one hand on her cheek.

"James, I—" Bella began, attempting to move off the couch. He was quicker than her, though, and brought his other hand to rest on the couch next to her shoulder, effectively trapping her there on the couch beside him as he hovered over her. "James—"

"Come on. You know I'm right. Don't fight this." He brought his face nearer, and Bella felt her stomach roll as she realized what he intended to do.

Desperately, she pushed against his shoulders. "No!"

He cut her off. "Stop fighting, Bella." His voice was rough, and before Bella could stop him his lips were on hers, moving roughly and feeling all wrong. She felt dizzy and angry, yet despite how hard she pushed against him, she couldn't get him to move. He had to know that she didn't want this. He had to sense from her furious fists and the way she was just laying there, lips immobile, that she did not want this.

Bella had just resigned herself to waiting him out when she heard a noise at the door. Despite James' heavy breath near her ear, Bella heard the distinct sound of the electronic key card sliding into the door. Relief flooded through her as she realized that someone was there to save her from James.

Bella had never in her life been so relieved to hear the sound of her mother's voice as the door swung open. Apparently oblivious to the sudden commotion at the front door, James remained rooted in place over Bella, his lips still moving over hers. The relief Bella felt that this ordeal would soon be over was quickly replaced by dread when she heard a second voice accompanying her mother's.

"I'm sure she's almost ready if she said to pick her up at five," Renée said as she stepped through the doorway. "Come on in, you can wait for her."

"Thank you, Renée." Edward's voice was unmistakable and caused Bella's stomach to churn with fear. She redoubled her efforts to push James off of her, and this time she was successful. James sat up, wiping his mouth as he turned to face Renee and Edward.

Finally, no longer obstructed by James' form, Bella could see Edward. He was staring at her, and even from across the room, she could see his jaw clenching tightly. Edward's eyes were black with rage and his voice was a low growl.

"Son of a bitch."


	24. Chapter 23: Lessons & Learning

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 23: Lessons and Learning

"Sure, Edward. I'm sure Bella's almost ready. You can just come up and wait," Renée's voice was sugary sweet and matched her smile as she led Edward to the hotel room she and Bella were sharing. She had caught his eye in the parking lot, and he knew immediately by her resemblance that she must be Bella's mother. He had introduced himself to her as she stared at him with almost child-like wonder.

"Bella has told us so much about you," Renée gushed, turning to look back at him periodically as they walked.

"That's nice to hear," Edward said, not really sure what else to say and wondering exactly what Bella had told her mother. He knew Bella wasn't close with her mother, and he wondered how much she knew about their situation.

They reached the door to the suite, and Renee slid her keycard in the slot. As she pushed the door open, she turned to Edward. "I'm sure she's almost ready if she said to pick her up at five. Come on in, you can wait for her."

"Thank you, Renée," he said, stepping through the doorway after her. It was then that he caught a glimpse of the room's other occupants. He was momentarily confused. He recognized the greasy, stringy ponytail and the back of James' head at once. What he couldn't figure out was what he was doing there, twisted up on the couch.

As Edward glanced down and saw the small fists clenching the fabric of the sofa, his vision turned red.

Finally, it seemed that James became aware of their presence. He moved back to a seated position, and for the first time Edward could see Bella's face. It was paler than normal and her eyes were wide with fear. His blood boiled, and rage made his fists clench almost uncontrollably.

"Son of a bitch," he said, lunging at James.

For a moment, James wore a self satisfied smirk. He stood, and the cocky smile slid off his face when he took in Edward's expression as he advanced on him. Edward stopped, fists clenched, his face inches from James, his height advantage causing him to tower menacingly over James. He paused for a moment, turning to Bella.

"Did you want this?" he asked her through clenched teeth. He already knew the answer, but he had to be sure.

Bella remained frozen on the couch, only her eyes darting back and forth between the two men. For a moment, it seemed she was unable to respond. Then, slowly she shook her head back and forth.

That was all the confirmation he needed. If Bella had wanted this, it would have been another matter. However, just as Edward had suspected, she clearly did not ask for James' advances. The thought made Edward's blood boil even hotter, and he could no longer control the rage that bubbled up inside him.

Fists already clenched, he pulled back, putting as much force as he could behind his fist as he connected with James' surprised face, landing square on his mouth. The sound of his fist connecting made a sick, crunching noise, but as he pulled his arm back and clenched and unclenched his knuckles, shaking his hand slightly, he was pleased to discover that his hand was relatively pain free.

"What the hell!" James hissed, spitting blood onto the carpet. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

Edward reached out again, grabbing James by the shirt and bodily carrying him across the room. James' eyes became wide with fear as Edward's hands curled into fists around the fabric of his shirt. When they reached the wall, Edward slammed James into it, causing it to reverberate around them.

"No, James. Who the hell do you think you are? I swear, if you ever touch her again, I will break every bone in your body." Edward's words were low, and he willed James to understand the promise behind his threat. His hands released him, and the shorter man dropped a few inches to the floor. However, before James had time to react, Edward pressed his forearm against James' throat, shoving him back into the wall and lifting him off his feet again. "How dare you? How dare you try to take advantage of her?" Edward was so angry he was practically spitting his words in James' face.

He became vaguely aware of someone pulling on his back and arms. His vision cleared slightly as he realized it was Bella. Without letting James go, he turned slightly to see her peering up at him, her hands clutching at his shoulder.

"Edward, stop. Please. I'm fine." Her voice seemed small, but Edward wasn't sure if it really was, or if it was due to the ringing in his ears.

Taking a deep breath, Edward closed his eyes before releasing James. James found his feet again and stood choking and gasping, rubbing his hand across his throat.

Ignoring him, Edward turned to Bella. "Are you okay?" Without thinking he reached out and wrapped her in his arms. She came willingly, folding herself into his embrace, and Edward sighed at the relief he felt holding her again. She sighed too, and without hesitating, wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his still heaving chest.

"I'm fine. I promise."

They were reminded of Renée's presence again when she cleared her throat. They turned toward her. "Um. I think maybe you should go, James," Renée said, her tone flat and cold, giving Edward hope that she would understand his actions. And if Renée understood, wouldn't Bella?

James swore under his breath, still wiping blood from his mouth. He gave Edward a disdainful look, but when Edward stared back at him, he quickly averted his eyes and slunk out of the room.

Edward turned his attention back to Bella, not caring about the audience they had with Renée in the room. "Baby, are you okay?" He ran his arms gently over hers and up her shoulders, his eye turning clinical as he took in the details of her condition that she would not tell him. After examining her for a moment, he concluded that she seemed to be telling the truth. She seemed to be all right.

The fact that Bella seemed to be physically fine did nothing to decrease the rage he felt toward James. He didn't allow himself to think about what would have happened had he and Renee not shown up when they did. Edward had no doubt that James would not have taken no from Bella, no matter what it was he was asking for.

He pushed those thoughts away, knowing they would do him no good in that moment. "We should go eat. You need food. You're probably in shock," Edward said softly as he gazed down at her.

For a moment, she looked like she might argue. Then, she simply nodded and allowed herself to be guided to the door. They bid Bella's mother farewell, and as they walked to his car, Edward glanced around for signs of James, but found none.

They drove in silence. Edward was still so angry, he didn't really trust himself to speak. Bella looked out the window, and Edward wished she would say something so that he would know that she was okay.

"Bella," he asked softly after they'd been driving for a few minutes.

She hummed her response and turned to look at him.

"Are you okay? I mean, I know you're not okay, but are you all right?" He knew his question was convoluted, but he hoped she'd be able to decipher his meaning anyway.

"I'm fine." As she spoke her eyes slid from his face down to her lap, and Edward felt a knot in his stomach. Was there more that happened than what she was telling him?

Sighing, he pulled the car off the road, turning to give her his full attention. "Please be honest with me. Tell me what happened."

At his words, something in her expression shifted, and her eyes seeming to darken a little. She gazed at Edward for a moment before shaking her head and looking away.

"What is it, Bella?"

She sighed and looked out the window again. "James told me about you and Tanya." Her voice was so low that Edward had to concentrate to hear her.

"What do you mean? What about me and Tanya?" he asked, confusion furrowing his brow.

Bella sighed and turned to look at Edward again, her eyes flashing once more as she spoke. "That you've been spending the night with her, Edward." Her voice was hard, but he could hear the unmistakable pain lying just under the surface.

Surprise took over his expression and rendered him momentarily speechless. Of course. Of course James would know. Of course he would try to make it look like something it wasn't. How could he have not seen that one coming? He scrubbed a hand over his face in frustration.

"It wasn't like that. First of all, it was one time, and second of all, I only came over to bring Tanya some medicine to help her with the nausea. She was all alone, and she asked me to stay with her. So I did. Nothing happened." As he spoke, he thought of how he'd spent the night in her bed. He wanted to be honest with Bella, but in hindsight he wasn't sure if he should tell her about that part.

Bella looked at him, suspicion clear on her face. "So, you just slept on the couch, or what?"

Edward closed his eyes and made a decision. He would not be dishonest with her anymore. He owed her that much. "I started out on the couch, but when she got sick, I went in to lay with her on the bed. Bella I swear, nothing happened. We just slept. I know it was stupid, but I didn't know what else to do. She was so sick, and she's carrying my child." His final words were a whisper and carried with them the impossible weight of their situation.

Bella considered him for a moment, her brown eyes boring into his green ones. "I believe you," she said after a moment. "I don't like it. I think it was a really bad decision for you to go over there, but I believe you. Thank you for being honest with me."

"Thank you. I know I don't deserve your trust, but I appreciate it anyway. More than you know. It won't happen again, I promise."

Bella nodded. Edward continued to stare at her for a moment.

"Bella," he said, the word a whisper in the close confines of the car. She responded by looking at him. He continued. "Bella, I'd really like to kiss you." Even as he said it, he felt unworthy. He knew he didn't deserve to touch her, but he couldn't help the overwhelming desire to feel his lips against hers.

To his surprise, Bella's eyes fluttered closed for a moment, and she nodded. His breath caught as he began to lean closer to her, sure that at any moment she would tell him that he had misunderstood her, that she didn't want him to kiss her. But she didn't. She watched him as he drew nearer, bringing his face close to hers. Tentatively, he brought his hand up, stroking her cheek ever so gently with the backs of his fingers. At his touch, her eyes fluttered closed again, and he heard her draw in a small, but sharp breath. He smiled a little at the feel of his skin against hers, once again amazed by how his world seemed to settle into place when he touched her.

He slid his hand down her cheek to her jaw and traced the line of her jaw back toward her ear, wrapping his fingers gently around her neck and weaving them into her hair. He smiled as he watched her react to his touch, her eyes still closed as she shivered. It seemed to take an eternity for his lips to reach hers. When they were only inches apart, he whispered her name, the ache and desire clear in his voice. She moaned, and the sound spurred him to close the last few centimeters, pressing his lips against hers. He thought he heard her moan again, but he couldn't be sure, since his own moan filled his ears. He moved his lips against hers and was surprised when he felt her tongue pressing against his lips. His heart soared and he moaned again, wrapping his hand more securely behind her neck. He groaned when he felt her arms snake around his shoulders, pulling him toward her.

Was it possible? Did she miss his touch as much as he missed hers? He felt hope stirring within him at her reaction to his kiss.

After what was not nearly long enough, Edward felt himself gasping for breath. Concerned about Bella's ability to breathe, he gently pulled his lips from hers. Her eyes were open and she was looking at him with unmistakable desire, her breathing shallow.

He licked his lips, still tasting her on them. "I love you," he whispered. "Please, tell me what I can do so we can get past this. I don't want anyone else, only you."

She blinked, looking at him for a moment. "I love you too, Edward. I want to get through this."

He heard the hesitancy in her voice, and felt his heart cracking again. "Tell me how," he whispered.

Her words were so soft that even in the small, cramped interior of his rental car, he had to strain to hear her. Even after she'd spoken them, he wasn't sure he'd heard her correctly. He looked at her blankly for a moment and she smiled and repeated herself, louder this time.

"Take me to your hotel, Edward. Take me with you."


	25. Chapter 24: Decisions & Discussions

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 24: Decisions and Discussions

"Bella..." His voice was a whisper, and even in unconsciousness she responded to it, smiling sleepily as she felt his fingers sliding up and down her arm. "Sweetheart, your phone is ringing."

Her eyes fluttered open as she became aware of another sound, the ringing of a phone in the distance. She sat up, unconcerned about the sheet that fell from her bare shoulders. He grinned at her and handed her the still ringing phone. She glanced at the display before answering it.

"Hello?" she said, even though she knew who it was.

"Bella, where are you?" Rosalie's worried voice cut through the phone and into Bella's still drowsy consciousness.

"Um," Bella said, glancing at Edward as she fell back against the pillow. He was smiling down at her, absentmindedly twisting a strand of her hair in his fingers. "I'm with Edward."

"Oh."

"Yeah." She felt herself blushing. "We'll be at the hospital soon. Is everything okay with Dad?"

"Yes, everything is fine, don't worry. I just didn't know where you were," Rosalie said quickly. "But I'm glad you're with Edward," she added, and Bella could almost hear her smile.

"Me too."

A few minutes later, the two sisters hung up, and Bella looked up at Edward.

"Is everything all right with your father? Do we need to go to the hospital now?" Edward asked his expression concerned as he laid down on his side, facing her.

"No, everything is fine. I just forgot to call Rosalie last night. She was worried about me."

"I'm sorry, love. I should have reminded you. I guess we were both a little...distracted." He smiled his eyes full of love as Bella smiled back at him.

Edward propped himself up on one elbow, his expression turning serious. "So, Bella, does this mean that..." he faded off, seemingly unsure of what he wanted to say.

Bella's heart ached at his raw vulnerability. She reached her hand out and stroked his face, reveling in the way his rough stubble felt against her palm. "Edward," she said softly, "I'm still hurt, I can't just make that go away. But I want to make this work, I want to try."

"Bella," he whispered, his voice wrapping around her name like an embrace. "Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me." As he finished speaking, his mouth was on hers, and just like the night before, she could feel herself responding to him. Would she ever not respond to him like this? She reached up and wound her fingers in his hair, stroking his neck as his mouth devoured her, moving from her lips down to her chin and neck.

The night before, when they had finally arrived back at his hotel, it has been so intense between them. It was as though each of them had channeled all the raw hurt and need they had been feeling over the past few days into that one experience. He had made love to her, and she had welcomed him, both of them falling apart over and over.

She had known then that she had to be with him, no matter what the cost. She couldn't deny the pull he had on her. She couldn't walk away from him, despite the hurt she still felt over his actions. She was his, and there was no turning back. Surprisingly, the realization of this fact didn't make her feel trapped or stuck. Instead, she felt free. She felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. There was still a chance that she may get hurt, but it was a chance that she'd gladly take in order to be with him.

Now, once again lost in the sensation of him all around her, she closed her eyes and threw her head back on the pillow as he made her his again. She realized through her haze of desire that he was like a drug for her. She couldn't deny him, and she'd never get enough. She would let him have her, even if he consumed her and left her a smoldering pile of ashes in the process.

He whispered his love in her ear, and she showed him her love with her fingertips and lips and her fingernails along his spine.

It was much later in the day when they finally stumbled out of the hotel room and made the drive to the hospital. Bella knew there were still things they needed to discuss, but she couldn't help the joy she felt as he held her hand and walked her to the car, ghosting his lips across her neck as he opened the door for her.

Her father was doing well. Much to everyone's delight, the doctors announced that he would be returning home the next day, and the family began to prepare for his departure. No one commented on James' sudden disappearance, and Bella wondered what her mother had told the others. She decided not to worry too much about it, as everyone seemed happy to see Edward by Bella's side.

Bella also noticed that he seemed to have an almost unconscious need to be in physical contact with her at all times. Whether he slid his foot next to hers, or ran the backs of his fingers along her arm, he couldn't seem to stop himself from touching her. She shivered in delicious anticipation at his touch and leaned into his side whenever possible.

"Do you want to go get some food, Bella? You must be starving?" Edward whispered, his breath warm on her neck.

Her eyes fluttered closed and she nodded. They agreed to eat in the hospital cafeteria so that they could stay close by. Bella wanted to have as much time as possible with her father, knowing that she would soon be leaving him. One question kept running through her mind, however. Where would she go? Back to her life in Phoenix, or to Chicago with Edward? The more she thought about it, the more sure she became of her decision.

She was still thinking about it as she and Edward settled into a table with their food. He watched her, as he seemed to so often lately. She smiled at him as she began to eat.

"Bella," he asked softly.

"Yes?" she asked, lifting her eyes to meet his gaze.

"Your father is going home tomorrow. What are your plans after that?" His voice was gentle, and she could tell he was working hard not to put any pressure or expectations in his words. She appreciated it, recognizing how hard this was for him.

"Well," she answered, swallowing her bite and setting her napkin down. "I've actually been thinking a lot about that."

He watched her but said nothing.

"I have my apartment and some other obligations in Phoenix."

His face fell almost imperceptibly, and had Bella not been watching him closely, she might have missed it, so quickly did he work to cover it up. She smiled a little, enjoying her next words.

"But I think after I wrap things up with my lease and talk to my boss, I'd like to see what life is like in Chicago."

He studied her for a moment, almost as if he didn't believe her words or his ears. Then, his face melted into the most achingly beautiful grin. "Are you serious?"

She laughed as he practically bounced in his seat.

"You want to come to Chicago with me? Well, I mean, we'll get you your own place, but you'll be there, in Chicago...with me!"

She giggled again and nodded.

"Bella!" he cried, pushing his chair out and circling the table quickly before pulling her out of her seat and into his arms. "I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to make sure you love Chicago. We'll get you your own place, and we'll find you some magazines you can write for, and you're just going to love it." He gathered her face in his hands and kissed her, causing her to giggle against his lips.

When he finally released her, she was slightly breathless and a little lightheaded. "Um, Edward?" she asked, holding onto his forearms as she tried to catch her breath. "I was thinking that maybe I could stay with you." After she'd said the words, she was suddenly unsure of herself. Was she being too forward? Would he want her to live with him? They hadn't really even known each other that long. Doubts flooded her mind, and she was just about to find some way to retract her words when he swept her up again in another searing kiss, sliding his hands up her back and winding them in her hair again.

"Bella," he growled, "You want to live with me?"

She nodded, biting her lip.

"That would make me so incredibly happy."

Bella laughed again as her fears dissolved. They finished their lunch, and as they walked hand in hand back to her father's room, she wondered if it was possible for her heart to be any lighter. Edward loved her. They were going to make it work. Nothing else mattered.

As they stepped into her father's room where Rosalie was packing up his things, she heard the faint buzzing of Edward's phone in his pocket. He furrowed his brow as he pulled it out, glancing at her and holding up one finger as he stepped into the hallway. She nodded at him and continued into the room to help Rosalie.

Her blood turned cold, however, when she heard him address the person on the phone. "Hi, Tanya."

Her hands shook slightly. How could she have forgotten about Tanya's presence so easily? Edward stepped into the hallway, and his voice became muffled. Bella tried to ignore the pit in her stomach as she and Rosalie worked together to pack her father's belongings, getting him ready to go home the next day.

Edward returned a few minutes later, and she watched him carefully. He smiled just as he had earlier, but there was something off about it. She chose to say nothing to him, however, as he settled into a chair and read a magazine while the girls worked.

As she packed, Bella's head was full in a very different way than before. She knew Tanya was going to be a part of Edward's life now. There was no escaping that with the baby. Bella realized that she would just have to learn to deal with Tanya. With any luck, her interaction with her would be minimal. That was the price she would pay in order to have Edward in her life. She knew that now. She also knew as she watched him thumbing through his magazine, that she would gladly pay it.

They spent the night in Edward's hotel room again that night. They made love again, and Edward held her late into the night, stroking her back and her hair as they discussed their plans for the future.

They agreed that they would get Charlie settled at home, then they would both fly home. Bella to Phoenix, where she would spend a couple of weeks tying up lose ends, and Edward to Chicago where he would work to get things ready for her arrival.

"Edward," Bella asked softly, her cheek resting on his bare chest. Edward hummed his response while running his hands through her hair. "I was thinking that maybe we could look for a new place to live, once I get to Chicago."

She felt his laugh rumble in his chest. "Baby, of course we're going to get a new place. I wouldn't let you live in my place. It's awful. I just got it after I moved out of Tanya's place. We're definitely getting a new place." He laughed again and kissed her shoulder. "Do you want me to pick something out without you, or wait until you get there?"

Bella smiled and looked up at him. "No, you can find something without me. I trust you."

Edward gazed down at her, his smile fading. "Good. I'm glad you trust me," he said, his expression intense as he met her eyes.

Bella nodded, knowing they were no longer just talking about an apartment. "I do trust you, completely."

Edward squeezed her to him more tightly, and it wasn't long before they drifted to sleep, Bella lying across Edward's chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders. Her last conscious thought was that she could get very used to falling asleep this way every night.

In the morning, she awoke before Edward, slipping out of bed quietly so as not to disturb him. She looked around, and the first thing she saw was Edward's discarded boxers and undershirt. She smiled to herself as she pulled his boxers over her hips and slipped his t-shirt over her head, inhaling deeply as his scent washed over her. They were too big and nearly fell off when she moved, but she loved the idea of wearing his things. She made a mental note to ask him for a few items of clothing to take with her to wear during the time they would be apart.

At the thought of being separated from him, Bella's heart clenched a little. She knew it would only be temporary, but she was dreading it. The past few days, since the whole mess with James, they had been inseparable. He was so much a part of her life now; she couldn't bear the thought of being without him. Actually, if she was honest, he'd been a part of her life since she'd met him. Even when they had both belonged to others, it was as if their hearts had known the truth: that they belonged together.

Clutching Edward's boxers to keep them up, she moved as noiselessly as possible out onto the patio, taking with her a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. She sank down into one of the patio chairs, curling her knees up to her chest and lighting a cigarette. She leaned her head back against the chair and exhaled, closing her eyes as she did.

At the sound of the patio door sliding open, Bella lifted her head and opened her eyes, squinting against the early morning light. Edward stood, the sheet wrapped loosely around his hips, his hair in disarray. She grinned up at him and held her hand out, offering him the cigarette she had just lit. He smiled and took it from her, placing it between his lips and inhaling deeply. He stood there for a moment, cigarette dangling from his lips, gripping the sheet around his hips, and Bella found herself very distracted by the sight of him. He was so beautiful. After a moment, he moved to sit on the chair next to her.

"Good morning," he croaked his voice rough from sleep and smoke. He looked her up and down and raised his eyebrows, a slow smile spreading across his face. "Are you...are you wearing my underwear?"

Bella looked down. "Oh, yes, sorry. I hope you don't mind…" she faded off, embarrassed, thinking he would find her desire to be close to him in any way possible silly.

"Bella." His voice was a low growl. "You in my underwear has to be one of the sexiest things I've ever seen."

She blushed and smiled, her hair creating a curtain around her face as she looked at the ground.

"Hey," Edward said softly, reaching up to brush her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. "That was a compliment, you know." He smiled at her, and she finally met his eyes.

"I know," she answered, smiling up at him.

Next to her, Edward sighed, taking another drag of his cigarette and blowing the smoke to the side. "What the hell am I going to do without you for two weeks?"

Bella smiled sadly at him. "I was just wondering the same thing."

He shook his head at her. "You need to hurry and get everything done." His voice was serious, but she sensed the playful tone just under the surface. "I swear to you, Bella. If you are not in Chicago in two weeks, I will come to Phoenix and drag you back with me." He grinned at her, and she couldn't help but giggle.

"I think if I'm away from you for more than two weeks, I'll gladly allow myself to be dragged back."

Edward looked at her appraisingly for a moment. "Really?"

The smile slid from Bella's face and she nodded solemnly. "Yes, really. I can't stand the thought of being away from you. I'm going to do everything I can to get back to you so that we can start our life together."

Satisfied, Edward nodded. As they sat there, smoking together, an unwelcome thought intruded upon Bella's consciousness.

"Edward?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"Um, I know it's none of my business, but I was wondering, did Tanya call you yesterday?" Bella chewed her lip nervously as she waited for Edward's answer, though she already knew it.

He turned to her and smiled. "Well, first of all, Bella, everything I do is your business. You don't ever need to excuse yourself for asking questions. If you want to know something, just ask. No more secrets, okay?" He ducked his head to catch her gaze and smiled. She nodded and he continued. "Yes, Tanya called me yesterday. I missed her doctor's appointment, so she was wondering when I'd be back."

Bella nodded, satisfied with his answer. It was no more than what she expected.

Edward continued to gaze at her. "Bella, I know things with Tanya are going to be tough, but I promise, I'm committed to you, and to making our relationship work. I know we can do this." His voice rang with sincerity and Bella smiled.

The two of them sat out on the patio, enjoying cigarettes and each other's company, watching the sun rise higher in the sky.

As Bella sat there, she realized something. Despite all of the obstacles that still stood in their way, she was excited to move to Chicago. She would miss Rosalie and Emmett, but there really was nothing that was going to keep her from Edward.


	26. Chapter 25: Furniture & Phone Calls

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 25: Furniture and Phone Calls

"It's perfect. I'll take it," Edward said, nodding to the real estate agent.

She nodded back and smiled before ducking out of the room to make the necessary phone calls. As she left, he pulled his own phone from his pocket, pushing number one on his speed dial. As it rang, he smiled and thought of all the hours he had spent on this phone over the past two weeks.

"Bella, I found it!" he cried when she answered on the first ring.

"You did? Oh, I can't wait to see it! Send me pictures!"

He grinned as she matched his enthusiasm. "I will. I'm telling you, it's perfect though. I can't wait until we live here!"

"I'm sure I'll love it, I just want to see it," Bella said impatiently as she laughed, the sound like music to his ears.

"I know. I can't wait until you get here!" Edward exclaimed.

"Two more days, sweetheart," Bella said the excitement in her voice unmistakable.

Edward was still smiling as he hung up and began to wander around their new place, snapping pictures to send her as he went. As he was putting them together in a slideshow, his phone rang again. This call made the smile fade from his face.

"Hi, Tanya," he said, sitting down in a window ledge and scrubbing his hand over his face.

"Hi, Edward."

"What's going on?" He wasn't in the mood to make small talk with her. He sighed and pushed his feelings of resentment down as the inevitable feelings of guilt made their way to the surface.

"I just wanted to remind you about my doctor's appointment."

"When is it again?"

"It's on Wednesday at two o'clock."

Edward sighed again. How could he have forgotten? "I totally forgot. I'm not going to be able to make it."

"Why?" Tanya's voice was suddenly hard and cold.

"That's the day Bella arrives. I'm picking her up, and then we're moving into our new place."

"I see."

"I'm sorry. Is there any way you can reschedule?" he asked, feeling like a horrible father. "I'd really like to be there."

"No. I've had this appointment for weeks. My doctor is booked solid."

"Who is your doctor?" Edward realized with everything that had been going on, not only had he missed all of her appointments thus far, but he'd failed to find out who her obstetrician was. If it was a colleague, he was sure he'd be able to make a phone call.

"It's no one you know. His name is Dr. Green. He doesn't practice at your hospital."

"Tanya, why would you choose a doctor that I don't know? I have plenty of obstetrician friends that would have been happy to take you on as a patient."

Tanya was silent for a moment, and when she spoke again her voice seemed intentionally even and measured. "Well, Edward, I sort of figured that you wouldn't want any of your colleagues to know about the situation, given your new relationship with Bella."

He was rendered momentarily speechless by this uncharacteristic act of thoughtfulness. After a moment, he cleared his throat. "Wow, Tanya. That's really thoughtful of you. I don't know what to say. Thank you."

Tanya sighed. "Anyway, so you're not going to make it?"

"I'll try, okay? It's going to be a crazy day but—"

She cut him off. "Listen, either you'll be there, or you won't. It's no big deal either way," she snapped.

"I want to, but…hello?" The line was dead. He cursed under his breath as he shoved his phone back into his pocket, the slideshow for Bella forgotten.

The next few hours were spent signing papers with the real estate agent, writing out deposit checks, and making phone calls to set up utilities. It was much later in the day when he finally had time to think about his dilemma with Tanya again. The guilt still gnawed at him like a parasite. Did things really have to be this difficult? Was he always going to feel like he was choosing between Tanya and Bella? Or, more specifically, Tanya's baby and Bella. The confidence he'd felt in Port Angeles at his ability to make everything work was quickly being eroded away by the doubt that was creeping into his mind. How could he be fair to Bella and Tanya? Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. Maybe there was a way he could do both. Quickly he dialed the number.

"This is Eric."

Edward grinned. "Hey there, buddy."

"Edward, what's going on, man?" Eric spoke through a yawn. Edward glanced at his watch. Eric would be only a few minutes away from ending his shift at the hospital.

"Listen, I know you're about to go home for the afternoon, but can you do one favor for me?"

There was silence for a moment. "The last time you asked for a favor I had to risk my job." Eric's voice was flat.

Edward laughed. "I promise. There's nothing illegal about this request. I just don't have the resources here at home that you do at the hospital. I need a phone number for a Dr. Green. He's an obstetrician."

Edward heard the sound of Eric's fingers tapping the keyboard as he searched for the name. Edward smiled to himself at his ingenuity. If he could talk to Tanya's obstetrician, doctor to doctor, maybe he could change the appointment time so that he'd be able to make it to the appointment, and still be able to pick up Bella from the airport.

After a moment, Eric spoke. "There are four Dr. Greens that practice in Chicago, but none of them are obstetricians."

Edward frowned. "Okay, I must have heard the name wrong. Thanks anyway, have a great night."

No sooner had he disconnected with Eric than his phone buzzed. It was Alice.

"Hello. What are you doing?" she chirped before he could speak.

"Just finishing up arrangements for our new place," he answered.

"Oh! You found a place! Excellent!" she squealed. "But then, what's wrong?" she asked, her voice suddenly wary.

Knowing it was futile to try and hide anything from his eerily perceptive sister, he sighed and related the conversation he'd had with Tanya. "I just don't know what to do, Alice. I can't win. Tanya refuses to try and change the appointment, and I can't get a hold of her doctor," he finished.

"Tanya needs to realize that just because she's having your baby doesn't mean things are going to be like they were when you two were together. You can be a good father and still make Bella a priority, Edward."

"It just doesn't feel like it sometimes."

"Look, why don't you let me go pick up Bella on Wednesday. That way you can go with Tanya to the appointment," Alice suggested.

"You'd do that?" Edward asked.

"Of course. That's what family is for. What time is Bella's flight?"

Edward gave her all the details, and immediately felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. After hanging up with his sister, he dialed Bella.

"What happened? I never got the pictures you promised," Bella said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I completely forgot. I'll send them as soon as we hang up. Listen, something has come up on Wednesday," Edward said.

"Okay," Bella replied. The uncertainty in her voice tugged at his heart. He wanted so much to be stable for her, to be the rock that she needed.

"I need to go with Tanya to her doctor's appointment."

"Oh. So do you need me to change my flight?" she asked.

Edward smiled. She was so willing to be accommodating. "No, not if you don't mind Alice picking you up."

"Not at all. That's fine."

"Are you sure? The appointment should only take an hour or so, and I'll pick you up from Alice's. I'm really sorry, Tanya just reminded me about the appointment today. I wanted to change it, but I couldn't—"

"Edward," Bella interrupted him. "It's fine. I understand that you have an obligation to Tanya. You need to be there for her. Alice will pick me up, and it will be fine, okay?"

He sighed, realizing once again how lucky he was to have her. "Thank you, sweetheart. Thanks for being so understanding. I know this isn't an ideal situation, but we're going to make it work, I promise. I love you."

"I love you, too. I know we're going to be fine," Bella said. "I can't wait to see you in two days. Tell Alice thank you for volunteering to pick me up."

They hung up, and Edward dialed Tanya's number to let her know he would be able to make it to the appointment after all. After a few rings, her voicemail picked up.

"Tanya, it's Edward. It looks like I'm going to be able to make your appointment on Wednesday after all. Give me a call back. Thanks."

Tuesday flew by. Edward spent most of the day picking out new furniture and arranging deliveries at their new apartment. He didn't plan on taking much from the rundown place he currently called home. Bella was having a few things shipped from Phoenix, but most things they'd buy new. Somehow, the acquisition of all new belongings seemed symbolic to Edward. New life, new start, new things. Though he wanted to wait for Bella, he also wanted the apartment to be as ready for her when she got there as possible, so he decided to purchase the essentials on his own.

Bella filled his thoughts as he wandered among an array of couches, love seats, sectionals, sofa tables, dining room tables, and beds. He did his best to select items he thought she would like: a neutral colored sofa, some coordinating lamps, a stainless steel refrigerator, and a king sized bed with an ornate wrought iron frame. He arranged for all of the items to be delivered and set up Wednesday morning so everything would be ready when he picked Bella up from Alice's that afternoon. As he left the furniture store, he called Bella.

"I hope you like the things I picked out," he said as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed for what would only be his home for one more night.

"I'm sure I'll love everything, but tell me what you got," Bella laughed.

He chuckled, and after describing his purchases to her, he asked, "Are you all packed for tomorrow, love?"

"I think so," she sighed.

Edward furrowed his brow as he lit a cigarette. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"What? No, no! Not at all. There's just so much to do and remember when you move. A lot of the magazines that I write for are panicking about me moving. I've been trying to assure them that nothing will change, but I'm not sure they believe me." Bella sighed.

"Well, once you get here and get established, they'll see that you're still just as dedicated to your writing as you were in Phoenix. Don't worry about it."

"I know, I'm trying not to. It's just stressful. I'll be fine. I—Oh, that's Rosalie calling on the other line. Can I call you back?"

"Sure. Tell Rose hello for me. She's bringing you to the airport tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, I'll call you later. Love you," Bella said before clicking over.

Edward smiled. He couldn't wait to see her. No matter how much time they'd spent on the phone over the past couple of weeks, it wasn't enough. He needed to see her, and more importantly to hold her. He felt sure that once she was in his arms again, everything else would be all right.

He pulled into the parking lot of his apartment and made his way inside, stubbing out his cigarette with his toe as he fumbled to fit the key into the lock. Once inside, he flipped on the light switch, the bare bulb in the middle of the ceiling casting a paltry glow on the sparse living room. He would be so glad to leave this chapter of his life behind the next day.

Edward walked to the refrigerator and pulled open the freezer. He pulled out the first frozen dinner he put his hands on and threw it in the microwave before grabbing a beer and settling onto his tiny, worn sofa.

He took a swig of cold beer and sighed. It had been a long but productive day. The next day he would go with Tanya and fulfill his obligation to her. Then he would get to see Bella. He couldn't wait to pick her up from Alice's house and start their life together. After tomorrow, Edward hoped he'd never have to spend a night away from her again.

The microwave beeped, signaling that his dinner was ready. He was still musing about Bella as he grabbed a fork and sat down at the small table. He was halfway through his baked ziti before he realized he hadn't heard back from Tanya. Puzzled, he pulled out his phone to see if he'd missed a call from her. He hadn't. He dialed her number, but again it went to voicemail after a few rings. Edward sighed in frustration and then left her another message.

"Tanya, I called you yesterday to let you know that I can make it to your appointment tomorrow, but I need to know the information. I don't think I heard your doctor's name correctly, so I don't know where to go. Or, I can pick you up. Whatever is easiest, but please call me so we can make plans. Thanks."

He set the phone on the table so that he wouldn't miss it when she called back. He finished his meal and cleared away the remnants of his dinner, washing by hand the few dishes he had used. He smiled as he thought of picking out new dishes with Bella.

He yawned as he headed down the hall to the bathroom, stripping his shirt and pants off as he went, leaving them where they landed in the hallway. The hot water of the shower felt therapeutic against his skin and helped to loosen his tight muscles.

After his shower, he made his way to the bedroom, smiling to himself as he stepped over his discarded clothing. He doubted whether he'd be able to continue that sloppy habit after tomorrow. That was one vice he'd gladly forsake. Plucking his phone off the table, he dialed Bella's number and smiled when she answered on the first ring.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen."

"Hello, Ms. Swan." He grinned at her mischievous tone, relieved by how much more relaxed she sounded. "I know you said you'd call me back, but I couldn't wait."

"Hmm. A little impatient are we?" she teased.

He chuckled as he reached the bedroom and flopped onto his bed, drops of water still clinging to his bare chest. "I can't help it. I miss you. It's a good thing you're flying here tomorrow, otherwise I might have to take desperate measures."

Bella giggled. "Desperate measures, huh? Like what?"

"Like, I'd have to fly to Phoenix, throw you over my shoulder, and drag you back here with me," Edward growled.

"Hmm, yes. I seem to remember you threatening to do that. Well, it's probably a good thing for both of us that I am flying out tomorrow. No caveman antics will be required."

"You're lucky," Edward grumbled playfully.

"Yes, I am," Bella whispered, her tone suddenly serious.

Neither of them spoke for several moments, each listening to the other's quiet breathing across the hundreds of miles that separated them for one last night.

"I love you. Go finish packing," Edward said finally.

"Okay. I can't wait till tomorrow."

"This is the longest night of my life, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward," Bella whispered.

They hung up, and Edward rolled onto his stomach, placing his phone on the pillow next to his head. Despite the exhilaration he felt at Bella's impending arrival, it wasn't long before Edward drifted to sleep, alone for what he hoped would be the last time.


	27. Chapter 26: Farewells & Fresh Starts

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 26: Farewells and Fresh Starts

"You're not taking this? I love this top," Rosalie exclaimed, holding the shirt up for Bella to see.

"You can have it then," Bella answered without looking at Rosalie.

"Bella..." Rosalie chided.

"It's not that big of a deal, Rose. I just don't want to take a ton of stuff with me. I can get new stuff in Chicago," Bella insisted.

Rosalie pursed her lips but said nothing as she threw the blouse back on the pile of things Bella was donating to charity. Bella rolled her eyes. They'd been going on like this for days. As always, Rosalie wanted to question every decision Bella made. She would have been more annoyed, but Bella understood that this was just Rosalie's way of dealing with her leaving.

"So, do you have everything you need?" Rose asked, turning her attention back to Bella.

Bella looked around the nearly barren apartment and took a deep breath before nodding.

"Yes, I think so."

She glanced around again and sighed. She loved this apartment. It had been the first thing that had been truly hers. It was a symbol of her independence and her freedom. It was where her life had finally started to come together. There was only one thing, or one person more specifically, that could make her want to leave it behind. Because of him, she would leave this place with absolutely no regrets, and with complete exhilaration at the thought of what her future held.

"When are the movers coming again?" Rose asked.

"They'll be here tomorrow. The apartment office has the key, so you won't have to worry about anything." She paused, "Well, except taking me to the airport tomorrow morning."

Since all of Bella's stuff had either been sold, donated, or was packed up ready to go to Chicago, Rosalie had offered to let Bella stay at her house that night. It would also make it easier to get her to the airport the next day.

After one final look around, the girls left Bella's apartment behind and headed to Rosalie's where Emmett was waiting for them with dinner.

"Smells delicious," Bella said as they walked into the kitchen.

"I wanted to make you something nice for your last night here," Emmett said, shrugging.

Bella smiled, touched by the sentiment. She stood up on her toes and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Thanks, Emmett." He was like a brother to her, and she would miss him as much as she was going to miss her sister.

Bella could not have asked for a more perfect last night in Phoenix. The weather was beautiful, so they ate their meal out on the back patio by the light of three huge candles Rose had for just such occasions. The food and the wine were excellent, and the three of them chatted for hours.

"Well, Bella," Emmett said, slowly swirling the wine in his glass. "We're going to miss having you around here." He glanced at his wife who was making an effort to hide the tear sliding down her cheek. "But, I know you're going to be fine. Edward is...good for you." He finished with a nod.

Once again, Bella was touched. "Thank you. You know your opinion means a lot to me."

From by his side, Rosalie nodded. "Emmett's right. Lord knows I'm going to miss you like crazy, but I wouldn't let you go all the way across the country if I didn't think you were doing the right thing."

Bella sighed. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you two," she said, shaking her head and wiping away a tear of her own.

"Oh Bella," Rosalie whined, no longer able to keep her emotions at bay.

The two sisters embraced warmly and after a moment, Emmett stood and joined them, wrapping both of them in a huge bear hug. No one spoke. Words were unnecessary.

Finally, Emmett broke the silence. "Well," he said, breaking away from the group hug. "This wine isn't going to drink itself."

The sisters chuckled as they rejoined him at the table and held their glasses up for him to fill.

It didn't take much effort for them to finish off the wine, and before the evening was over, there was laughter, more tears, and much reminiscing. By the time Bella made her way unsteadily to the guest bed, she had a smile on her face.

Tuesday dawned, and Bella found Rosalie in the kitchen sipping a cup of coffee and reading the paper.

"Good morning," Bella said, wiping sleep from her eyes.

"Hi," Rosalie said quietly, smiling at Bella.

"Where's Emmett?" Bella asked.

"He already left for work. He didn't want to wake you, so he said to tell you goodbye."

Bella nodded as she helped herself to a bowl of cereal.

Since Bella didn't have to be at the airport for a couple of hours, the girls spent a leisurely morning drinking coffee and reading the paper, enjoying their last morning together for a while.

But in what seemed like no time, Bella was standing at the security check point hugging Rosalie goodbye.

"Call me when you get settled tonight," Rosalie said.

"I will. Thanks for everything, Rose. You and Emmett better come and visit Edward and me soon."

Rosalie nodded and wiped her cheek. "Edward better take good care of you. I know he will, but you tell him I said so, anyway."

Bella chuckled and hugged her sister again. "I'm going to miss you."

With a final embrace, the two sisters parted, and Bella made her way through security, glancing back at her sister until she had to turn the corner and couldn't see her anymore. Taking a deep breath, Bella wiped the tears from her cheeks and squared her shoulders. This was it. She was on her way to Edward.

The flight went by faster than Bella expected and before she knew it she was being swept along in the crowded O'Hare airport toward baggage claim. As she approached the carousels, she began to scan the crowd for Alice, wondering briefly how she'd be able to spot the miniature girl amongst the throngs of people.

"Bella!"

She turned toward the sound, but it wasn't Alice calling her name. Puzzled, she scanned the crowd again, gasping when she saw him.

"Edward!"

In no time, he closed the space between them as the crowds of people melted away.

"Bella," he said again. Her name sounded like a prayer on his lips. He closed the last of the gap between them, and she was in his arms.

"I thought you couldn't make it?" she asked breathlessly as he covered her face with kisses.

"Me either," Edward shrugged and pulled away. "But Tanya never called me back, so I came to get you." He grinned, and Bella felt her heart melt once more.

"I've missed you," she whispered, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against his chin as he cupped her face in both his hands.

"That doesn't even begin to describe what I've been feeling these past two weeks, Bella," Edward murmured as he planted a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm here now."

Edward took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, yes you are." He grinned and took a step back. "You look amazing."

Bella blushed under his appraisal.

"Let's get out of here. Do you want to see our new place?" Edward asked, the excitement evident in his voice.

Bella beamed and nodded. "Yes! I can't wait! Can we go there now?"

He laughed at her enthusiasm. "Yes, everything should be all set up for us. Let's go."

They worked their way through the crowd to the baggage carousel where they waited for her luggage. When it appeared, he insisted on getting it, and refused to let Bella's hand go, hefting the bag up and over his shoulder with one hand. They walked hand in hand through the parking lot to Edward's car. He opened the door for her, and as she stepped past him to climb in, he gripped her hand and pulled her close to him again.

"I'm so glad you're here. I'm never going to let you go again," he murmured before bending down to kiss her deeply again.

Bella couldn't help the quiet moan that escaped her lips as she felt his body press against hers. She slid her free hand up his back and into his hair which caused him to groan and pull her against him tighter.

"I'm not going anywhere," she whispered.

He pulled away to look down at her and smiled. "Good."

With one last kiss, he helped her into the car. Then he secured her suitcase in the trunk, climbed in the driver's side, and they were off. As they drove, Edward pointed out various landmarks he thought it would be helpful for Bella to know about. She listened and commented, eager to make his city her new home.

Soon, they pulled up in front of a high rise building with lots of chrome and glass.

"This is it," Edward said, pulling into the parking garage located under the building.

"Wow," was all Bella could manage to say.

He chuckled. "It's not really all that impressive. Just different from what you're used to in Phoenix, I think."

He pulled into a numbered spot and shut off the ignition.

"We have this space and the one next to it, for when you get a car," he explained.

Bella nodded and they climbed out of the car. Edward grabbed her bag.

"Is this really all you brought?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

Bella nodded and found his hand. "I didn't want to bring too much." She paused and looked down, suddenly self conscious. "I wanted this to be sort of a fresh start."

They reached the elevator, and Edward turned to face her. "That's exactly what this is, for both of us." He tilted her chin up with one finger and kissed her lips softly.

The elevator dinged, signaling its arrival, and before long Edward was leading Bella down a long hallway padded with soft carpet and flanked on both sides with numbered doors. He stopped near the end and turned to her, his expression suddenly anxious.

"This is it," he said as he fit his key in the lock. He opened the door, and they stepped inside.

"Oh," Bella gasped as she looked around. "Edward, it's perfect." And it was. The furnishings were still sparse, but the apartment itself was beautiful. It had huge picture windows which allowed light to stream across the hardwood floors. The ceilings were high and the walls were painted a beautiful taupe color.

Edward stood back and watched as Bella circled around the room. "You really like it?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

She looked back at him. "I do, Edward. I mean it. It's exactly what I would have picked."

"Good because it's ours." Edward closed the door, dropped her bag, and in a flash, swept Bella up in his arms. "And I'm not going to let you go," he growled in her ear.

Bella giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. "Good because I don't ever want to be let go."

Bella's breath quickened in anticipation as he carried her through the apartment. "Wait," she said, breaking his kiss.

Panting slightly, he furrowed his brow. "What's wrong, love?"

"I haven't seen the entire apartment yet. Aren't you going to give me a tour?" Bella asked eyes wide.

He growled and tightened his hold on her. "Here is your tour," he said as his hands began to work her t-shirt up her torso. "Living room."

They continued down a short hallway. "Kitchen," he grunted.

He tugged on her shirt, pulling it up over her head and tossing it onto the kitchen counter.

"Mhm," Bella murmured as her fingers began to work on the buttons on Edward's shirt.

"Guest bathroom," Edward said as he helped her remove his shirt. He tossed the shirt into the bathroom and continued down the hallway.

"Guest bedroom," he murmured as they passed the doorway of an empty room.

They reached the door at the end of the hallway. Bella groped behind her until she found the doorknob. She turned it, and Edward carried her through the doorway.

"And this," Edward said as he fumbled with the clasp on her bra, "is our bedroom."

Bella pulled away from Edward's lips for a moment in order to look around. She was afraid for a moment that this room would be empty too. She sighed in relief when she saw the large bed standing in the middle of the room.

Interpreting her sigh, Edward laughed. "You didn't think I'd forget the bed did you, love?" He deposited her gently on the edge of the bed, then stepped back to look at her.

Bella blushed as she felt his gaze.

"I've missed you so much."

Despite their frenzied trip to the bedroom, they took their time, undressing each other the rest of the way slowly. Bella felt Edward's love for her in every kiss and touch. She did her best to impart her love for him too.

"I love you," he whispered over and over.

"Edward," she murmured, unable to articulate anything more than just his name.

Twice they made love in their new bed. Afterward, Edward laid with his head on Bella's stomach, running light fingertips up and down her thighs.

"Edward," Bella said as she ran her fingers through his hair.

His answer was an inarticulate mumble.

"I'm hungry," she giggled.

He lifted his head to meet Bella's eyes, resting his chin lightly on her bellybutton.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry. I didn't even think about it. You must be starving. There's absolutely no food here, but we can go out. Or, if you'd prefer, I can go get us something and bring it back here. Whatever you'd like."

Bella thought for a moment. "I think I'd like to shower and get settled in a little, if that's okay."

"Of course," he said, placing a hand on either side of her and pushing off of the mattress into a sitting position. "What would you like me to bring back?"

Before Bella could answer, Edward's phone rang. He paused for a moment, listening to determine where it was coming from, and then fished it out of the back pocket of his discarded pants. He sighed when he looked at the caller ID.

"Hi, Tanya," he said, glancing at Bella, an apologetic look on his face.

Bella smiled in an attempt to reassure him that she didn't mind. Not wanting to eavesdrop, she climbed out of bed, gathered up her discarded clothes, and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

She was in the shower when Edward appeared on the other side of the shower door. Carefully, he slid the door part way open. Bella grinned.

"You're going to get all wet!" she chided. He had put his pants back on and dark drops of water from the shower spray were already visible on his thighs.

"I don't care," he grinned.

Bella rolled her eyes. "You may not care, but I do. I'm starving!"

Edward laughed, "Okay, okay. I'm going. Did you decide what you want to eat?"

They decided on Chinese food, and Edward kissed Bella on the forehead before heading out the door. Once he was gone, Bella finished her shower and found a pair of sweats in her suitcase. She was still rubbing her wet head with a towel, wandering around the apartment, when the doorbell sounded.

Smiling, she opened the door. "Did you forget your key, Ed—" The smile died on her lips. "Tanya, I..." she faded off, not sure what to say.

"Hello, Bella. Is Edward here?" Tanya asked her voice smooth. Bella inwardly cringed as she felt Tanya's eyes on her, taking in her tattered sweats and wet hair.

"No. I'm sorry, he stepped out. Was he expecting you?" Bella asked, working to keep her voice even and unwavering.

"Actually, yes. He missed my doctor's appointment today, so I told him I'd drop off these ultrasound photos for him." Tanya held up an envelope.

"Oh. I'm sorry," Bella said, immediately wondering why she was apologizing. "There must have been some sort of miscommunication. I know he wanted to be there."

"Yes, well..." Tanya faded off, arching one eyebrow at Bella. The two stood eyeing each other awkwardly.

"I'm sorry. Where are my manners? Would you like to come in?" Bella asked after a moment.

Tanya thought for a moment before nodding. Bella's heart sank, but she did her best to hide it. She stepped aside, and Tanya moved past her through the doorway.

"I don't even think I can offer you a drink. We haven't bought any groceries yet. Actually, that's the reason Edward isn't here. He went to get us dinner," Bella said, seemingly unable to stop herself from rambling.

"I'm fine. I don't need anything," Tanya said.

"Did you want to wait for him?" Bella asked, unsure of what else to say to Tanya. "I'm sure he won't be long."

"Listen, Bella. I think we can cut out the chit chat," Tanya said, her voice cutting through the end of Bella's sentence.

Bella furrowed her brow. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"You know exactly what I mean," Tanya said, her voice growing colder by the syllable. She placed a hand on her abdomen, and Bella looked down, feeling a pit form in her own stomach. Tanya didn't wait for her to answer. "This baby, Bella. Do you really want to stand in the way of Edward and his child?"

Bella was stunned. She felt hot tears welling up in the corners of her eyes but was determined not to shed them. "I don't see how—"

Again, Tanya cut her off. "Your very presence," Tanya hissed, stepping closer to Bella. "Your very presence here is a distraction. Do you really think it was a 'miscommunication' this morning that kept Edward from being there for his unborn child's ultrasound? No. It was you. Edward couldn't bear the thought of not being the one to pick you up."

Bella shook her head. "No, you don't understand. Alice was going to pick me up. It was all arranged."

Tanya shrugged. "Well, obviously something changed, because I was there at the doctor waiting for him, and he never showed. Once again, he chose you over his child."

Bella felt her hands shake. She didn't trust herself to speak.

"Don't you see?" Tanya's voice was gentler now. "He's always going to feel like he has to choose between you and the baby." She laughed softly. "I know what you're thinking, but this isn't about me. This is about my baby." She brought her hand to her stomach again and rubbed it softly. "I just want him or her to have a father."

"So what do you want from me?" Bella asked, finally finding her voice.

Tanya laughed quietly and shook her head. "Do you really have to ask? You should know Edward well enough by now to know that he will never tell you, but deep down he's always going to resent you for coming between him and his child."

Neither woman spoke for a moment, but the silence in the room was deafening. Bella no longer tried to hide the tears that were cascading down her cheeks unchecked.

After a moment, Tanya spoke. "I should go."

Bella nodded and held the door open for her.

From the hallway, Tanya paused and turned back to Bella. "I'm not trying to be cruel. I just have to do what's best for my child. I guess you'll never understand that until you're a mother yourself."

Bella said nothing, instead focusing on the carpet. When she looked up again a few moments later, Tanya was gone.


	28. Chapter 27: Letters & Lies

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 27: Letters and Lies

Edward whistled as he walked down the hallway, a bag of Chinese food tucked under his arm. He smiled to himself when he realized what he was doing. He was not someone who normally whistled to himself, but he took it as a manifestation of his newfound contentment. He realized that happiness was coming home to Bella. As far as he was concerned, true fulfillment was making her happy; whether it was taking her to pick out new furniture and décor for their new home, or bringing home her favorite take out food. He reached their door, smiling again at the thought of the door belonging to the two of them. This was the beginning of their life together, and it was off to a fantastic start.

"Bella," he called as he let himself in. "I'm back. I found the hot and sour soup that you wanted." He set the bag down on the kitchen counter and listened for her response. When she didn't answer, he smiled to himself. Was it possible that she was still in the shower? Had she waited for him so that he could join her?

He walked down the hall to the bathroom, listening as he went, looking forward to the possibility of sharing the shower with her. But as he approached the bathroom, he realized the shower wasn't running.

"Bella?" he called again as he reached the bedroom. He pushed the bedroom door open, expecting to find her curled up in the jumble of bed sheets. Instead, the giant bed sat deserted.

Puzzled, he returned to the kitchen, calling her name once more. As he reached the counter, he noticed something he'd overlooked before: a piece of paper sticking out from under the bag of Chinese food he'd set down earlier. He furrowed his brow as he picked it up and unfolded it. As he began to read his blood ran cold.

Dear Edward,

I know that I should have waited for you and told you this in person, but I knew that you would try and talk me out of the decision I've already made. I want more than anything to stay here in Chicago with you and start a new life. I want us to be together. But I now realize that it wouldn't be fair to you. I don't want you to always feel like you have to choose between me and your baby, so I'm making the choice for you. I love you, Edward. That will never change.

Bella

Edward's hands shook as he read the words on the page. Unable to believe that he understood them correctly, he read them again slowly, and then a third time, his anger growing each time.

Trying to control the trembling of his hands, he fished his phone out of his pocket. Relief flooded through him when she answered on the third ring.

"Bella, what the hell is going on? Where are you?" he asked, working to keep the panic out of his voice.

"I can't stay here, Edward. My letter explained everything." Bella's voice was quiet and she sounded as if she was trying very hard to sound cold and aloof.

"But, why? I don't understand," Edward said, his voice cracking despite his best efforts.

"Please don't make this any harder than it has to be," Bella pleaded, her own voice finally showing the emotion she felt.

"I don't know what to say. What happened?" Edward asked.

She sighed. "I just realized how unfair this all is to you, and to the baby, and to Tanya."

Edward clenched his teeth. "You and I have nothing to do with Tanya."

Bella took a deep breath. "Why didn't you make it to Tanya's appointment this morning?"

Edward felt baffled. "I told you. Tanya never called me back to give me the information. I didn't know where to go. I called her three times this morning."

Bella paused for a moment. "Tanya said that it was just because you wanted to be the one to pick me up."

Bewildered, Edward tried to wrap his head around what she was saying. "I did want to be the one to pick you up. I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't happy that I was able to after all, but I would have gone to the appointment if she'd called me back." He paused as something she said sunk in. "Wait a minute, you talked to Tanya?"

She was silent for a moment. When she finally answered, her voice was reluctant. "She came over to bring the ultrasound pictures while you were out."

He cursed under his breath. "Bella, I don't know what she told you, but this is ridiculous. Come home," he pleaded, desperation clear in his voice.

"I can't," Bella whispered.

"Where are you?" he asked.

"At the airport."

"Don't get on a plane. I'm coming to get you," Edward said, already frantically looking for his keys.

"No, Edward, please don't. This hasn't been an easy decision for me, but I've made up my mind," Bella said, her voice just as desperate. "I'm going home."

Edward clenched his jaw and took a deep breath. He wanted to scream and yell. He wanted to race to the airport and demand that she come home with him immediately. He wanted to drag her back to their apartment, sit her down and talk sense into her. But something inside him held him back. Instead he simply took a deep breath.

"I think you are making a huge mistake. I don't know what else I can say to you. I love you more than anything. You are my life. Please don't do this." His voice was low and sad.

"I love you so much. I don't want to do this. I want so badly to be with you. But I can't be your life. Not when you have a baby coming. Don't you see? I'm doing what you never will. I now realize it's not fair for me to ask you to choose. If I stay, you're always going to feel torn, and eventually you'll resent me for that." Bella's words were said in a rush, as if she had rehearsed them and needed to get them out before she lost her nerve.

Edward shook his head and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "This is ridiculous. I can do both. I can be there for you and still be a good father, I know I can. Please, Bella."

"I have to go. My plane is boarding," Bella said quietly.

Edward clenched his fist, crushing the note that changed everything. "So there's nothing I can say, then?"

"No. Please don't be mad at me. I'm doing this for you."

Edward spoke through clenched teeth. "I know that you think you are doing the right thing, but please do not insult me by saying that you are destroying my happiness for me."

Bella didn't speak for several moments. Finally she said, "Goodbye, Edward." Then the line went dead.

Unable to control himself any longer, Edward hurled his phone across the room, watching as it crashed into the far wall and disintegrated into dozens of tiny pieces. It wasn't enough though. He looked frantically around for something else to absorb the brunt of his frustration. Unable to find another suitable object, he drew his fist back and slammed it into the wall. The feel of the plaster and drywall giving way around his hand was strangely satisfying.

Panting slightly, he removed his fist from the wall; the broken plaster and pieces of drywall crumbled to the floor below. Defeated, Edward followed suit and sunk to his knees. How could this be happening? Everything he had ever wanted had been within his grasp, only to be yanked unceremoniously away before he even had a chance to enjoy it.

Tanya. Rage filled Edward once more as he remembered Bella's words, so obviously planted in her head by Tanya. He had never dreamed that when she had casually asked about his new place earlier that day, she would show up on his doorstep almost the minute he left Bella alone. He needed to speak to Tanya. He needed to get to the bottom of what exactly she had said to Bella.

The fact that he no longer had a phone didn't deter him. This was not a conversation he would be satisfied to have over the phone anyway. Edward rose to his feet, snatched his keys off the counter, and headed out the door.

The drive from his new house to his former one was a blur. It was as if he was on auto pilot as he drove, smoking cigarette after cigarette in a vain attempt to calm his nerves and focus on the discussion he would soon be having with Tanya.

He barely noticed the pain in his fist as he pounded relentlessly on the front door, completely unconcerned with the hour, or potentially disturbing any of Tanya's neighbors.

After a moment, Tanya's face appeared in the doorway as she cracked the door open.

"Edward," she said, clearly surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Cut the shit, Tanya. Let me in," Edward snapped, pushing the door open and stepping inside. "What the hell did you say to Bella?"

Tanya stared at him, and for a moment she looked a little frightened. Then, in a flash her expression changed, morphing from slightly panicked to smooth and confident.

"I don't know what you mean," she said, her tone light.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Bella told me what you said. You put some crazy idea in her head that she was going to come between me and the baby. What were you thinking? Why would you tell her that?"

Tanya narrowed her eyes. "Because it's true," she hissed, no longer attempting to appear nonchalant. "She will always come between you and the baby. You're never going to be able to be there for us as long as Bella is around. You will always have to choose between her and me."

It was Edward's turn to narrow his eyes. "I'll always have to choose between Bella and you?" he asked slowly.

Tanya opened and closed her mouth several times, but before she could respond, Edward continued. "Tanya, there is no you and me, you know that, right?" He eyed her suspiciously, a sickening realization dawning on him.

Tanya stared back at him for a moment. Then she smiled. "Edward, you and I are always going to be in each other's lives now that we are going to have a child together. Don't you see? We're bound together in a very real way." There was a glint in her eyes that he found unsettling.

"We've been over this. I will love our child, and as the mother of that child, I will always care for you, but you and I are over," he said, shaking his head.

The glint Edward had noticed in Tanya's eyes a moment ago seemed to brighten and she took a step toward him. "Edward, this is crazy. Don't you want to have a family?" she asked, smiling as she looked up at him.

He frowned and shook his head. "What are you talking about? We've been through this." He shook his head again in an attempt to clear it. He felt like he was losing his mind. Could this really be happening?

Her eyes hardened, and the smile faded from her face. "Edward, we belong together. You know this. We should be together." Her expression softened again and she reached up, placing her hands on his chest.

Instinctively, Edward took a step back, brushing her hands away. The confusion he'd felt a moment ago morphed into anger as he began to realize that he had been allowing himself to be manipulated by her. "Dammit, Tanya, stop it. We're having a baby, that doesn't mean that we're together. I love Bella, and now, thanks to you, she's gone." Edward's voice increased in volume as he spoke until he was nearly shouting at the end.

She smiled and shrugged. "Well Edward, if she was so quick to leave then maybe it wasn't meant to be."

"You don't know what you're talking about," he growled. He turned his back to her and began to pace the floor.

"I know that you and I should be together," Tanya said quietly from behind him. "I know that I never should have let you walk out of that church, and this baby proves it. We're meant to be together."

Edward whipped around, eyes wide. "You and I were over long before I cancelled our wedding. We should have never even gotten engaged. I thought after the discussion we had that day in the church you saw that too."

Tanya's voice was filled with emotion, and Edward could see tears beginning to stream down her cheeks as she spoke. "The only thing I see is that we belong together. This baby is fate, Edward. Don't you see?"

Edward shook his head again, scrubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "Tanya, you got pregnant because we made a mistake. We were drunk. That's all."

"Our baby is not a mistake!" Tanya cried as she clutched her stomach.

Edward glanced down at her and his expression softened. "Okay, calm down." The last thing he wanted was to be responsible for her becoming upset and something happening to the baby. "Sit down," he said, guiding her to a chair.

She sat down and looked up at Edward as he stood over her, his expression concerned.

"Could I have some water?" she asked, wiping her forehead.

"Sure," Edward said, springing into action. He filled up a glass with ice water and brought it back to her. "Here. Drink this and take some deep breaths."

Tanya nodded as she sipped the water. "Thank you. I feel better."

He nodded. "Good." He sat down on the floor next to her chair, examining her carefully for further signs of distress.

They sat in silence for a while. Edward contemplated what he had learned that evening. So many things made sense now. On one hand, Edward was furious with Tanya for what she said to Bella, but on the other hand, he now understood a little better where Tanya was coming from. She was pregnant, and scared, and felt very alone.

He sighed and sat up on his knees in front of Tanya's chair.

"Tanya," he said, taking her hands in both of his. "I promise you I'm always going to be here for you and for our baby."

Tanya looked at Edward, her eyes shining. "Thank you, Edward. That means a lot to me."

The two sat together for a few moments more before Edward stood.

"It's late. I should go," He said as he smoothed his pants.

Tanya looked at him for a moment as if she wanted to argue, but instead she nodded and stood to walk him to the door. As they reached the door, Edward turned.

"I almost forgot. Let's see the pictures," he said, suddenly excited.

"What?" Tanya asked, furrowing her brow.

"Bella said you came by to bring the ultrasound photos. I'd like to see them," Edward explained.

"Oh, I left them with Bella. She didn't give them to you?" Tanya said as she opened the door.

"Oh. No. I'm sure she left them at the apartment. I'll look for them when I get home. Thanks."

Tanya nodded, holding the door open as Edward stepped through it. He was almost to his car when she stopped him.

"Edward," she called.

He turned back to her.

"I hope you can work things out with Bella."

Edward nodded. "Thanks. Me too."

The distraction that his visit to Tanya had provided wore off once he was back in his car, and the weight of his sadness pressed down on him once more.

He found he couldn't maintain his anger towards Tanya anymore. He was irritated by her actions, and he knew that she had greatly contributed to Bella's abrupt departure, but he now realized that Tanya was motivated by fear. Despite what Tanya herself claimed, he didn't believe it was about her being with him. It was about her being scared and feeling alone. Edward promised himself that no matter what happened with him and Bella, he wouldn't let Tanya feel alone anymore.

He knew there was one more stop he needed to make before returning to his empty apartment.

Lights were shining through the windows of Alice's house as he pulled into the driveway. Before he had even had a chance to properly knock on the door, his tiny sister was standing before him.

"What's wrong, Edward?" she asked in greeting.

Edward sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Can I come in?"

"Of course."

Alice showed Edward inside, and the pair settled down on the couch in her front room. After a moment, Jasper appeared in the doorway. He apparently realized that Edward needed to speak to his sister in private, because he didn't stay longer than to wave hello to Edward.

"What's wrong?" Alice repeated once they were alone again.

"Bella left," Edward whispered, barely able to form the words as sadness and despair washed over him once more.

"What? Why?" Alice gasped.

"Tanya came and filled her head with a bunch of nonsense about me having to choose between Bella and the baby. She freaked out and left," Edward explained.

"What?" Alice asked staring at Edward in disbelief. "I'm going to kill Tanya."

Edward shook his head. "I just came from Tanya's. I was furious with her, but I realized something while I was over there."

Alice quirked her brow, but said nothing, instead waiting for Edward to continue.

"I realized that Tanya is terrified. She's so scared that I'm not going to be there for her and the baby. She feels threatened by Bella, and I sort of can't blame her." Edward looked at Alice and shrugged. "I haven't exactly given her a lot of confidence. I haven't made it to a single doctor's appointment—"

Alice interrupted, "That hasn't been your fault. This last appointment she never even called you. What did she say when you asked her why she didn't call you back?"

"I forgot to even ask. But that's not the point. There have been plenty of other times when I've let her down. I need to do better," Edward said.

Alice sighed and shook her head. "I don't know, Edward. I think you're being too hard on yourself. What are you going to do about Bella?"

Edward sat back on the couch and scrubbed his hand over his face. "I don't know. I tried to stop her, but she refused. She's so damn stubborn."

"Are you going to go after her?" Alice asked.

Edward thought for a moment. "I want to. I want more than anything to be on a plane right now. I'd like to drag her back here and talk some sense into her." He paused and looked at his sister. "But what then? What about the next time that Tanya says something rude to her? I can't keep chasing her and convincing her that it's a good idea for us to be together," Edward finished his voice full of sadness.

Alice looked at him sadly. "Oh, Edward," she said, patting his arm.


	29. Chapter 28: Honesty & Anger

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 28: Honesty and Anger

Bella sighed as she leaned her head against the smooth plastic of her chair. For the hundredth time, she looked at her boarding pass and then checked her watch. It was strictly a nervous habit, she knew what time her flight left, and because of her obsessive checking, she knew exactly what time it was.

Her phone rang and her hand shook as she answered it. She had known this phone call was coming, but she had hoped that it would come later when she had put some distance between them. But she should have known Edward would call immediately.

The conversation was as painful as she had feared it would be. He offered to come and get her. It was all she could do to tell him no. She tried to explain her reasons for leaving but she knew he didn't understand. She could hear the pain in his voice, and it nearly brought her to her knees. How could doing what she knew to be the right thing cause him so much pain? Then his pain turned to anger when she tried to tell him that she was doing it for him. She just didn't seem to have the words to make him understand.

As she boarded the plane, her heart and her feet felt heavy. She propelled herself toward the jetway by sheer will. She took one last look back at the waiting area before she slipped through the doorway and down the ramp. Part of her heart ached at the fact that she didn't see Edward. She would be lying to herself if she didn't admit that at least a part of her wanted to see him running to the gate, breathless as he called her name and swept her into his arms, refusing to allow her to leave. But the more logical part of her realized that this wouldn't work. She had to go, and his presence there would only make the decision she had already made more difficult.

The plane was only about half full, and she was able to get a window seat with a row all to herself. As the plane rose into the air, she looked out over the nighttime landscape of Chicago. Her eyes scanned the building tops, and she realized she was unconsciously trying to locate the shiny chrome and glass building that would have been her home with Edward. With this realization came the hot, heavy tears that she'd been trying to hold at bay. Keeping her seat belt on, she curled her legs up and tucked her knees under her chin, watching as the city that was almost hers grew smaller and smaller until it disappeared completely beneath her.

At some point she must have dozed off, because the next thing she heard was the sound of the pilot announcing their arrival in Phoenix. As soon as it was authorized, Bella switched on her cell phone. In spite of herself, her heart sunk a little when she saw that she had no missed calls. She dialed Rosalie's number.

"Bella!" Rosalie squealed when she answered. "I thought you would have called before now. You must have gotten in hours ago!"

"Hi Rose. Um, actually, things have changed. Can you come get me?"

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. "Where are you, Bella?" Rosalie finally asked.

"At the airport. In Phoenix."

"Oh, Bella. What happened?" Rosalie's voice was filled with the sadness that Bella had been trying to ward off, and her eyes filled up with tears again.

"I know, Rose. I'll explain everything when you get here. My flight just landed."

Wonderful, dependable Rosalie agreed to pick her up, and the two hung up.

As Bella exited the plane and moved through the airport, she thought about how different her mood and circumstances were than they had been the last time that she'd been in this airport. Had it really only been that morning? It didn't seem possible. Her entire life had changed in just a few hours.

Bella was waiting on the curb when Rosalie pulled up. She stubbed out her cigarette and climbed into the car, ignoring her sister's furrowed brow and inquiring look. Bella sighed and laid her head back against the seat as Rose pulled away from the curb and headed back to her house.

The car was silent for a while until Rosalie couldn't take it anymore.

"What happened, Bella?" she asked quietly.

Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she told her sister the whole story. She told her about how wonderful everything had been when Edward had picked her up. She described how perfect their apartment was, and how happy she felt there. Then she told her about Tanya's visit. Her eyes filled with tears as she described how she'd felt when Tanya had pleaded with her not to make Edward choose between her and their baby.

By the time she was finished, they had arrived at Rose's house. Rosalie hadn't said a word while Bella spoke. She put the car in park and shut off the engine before taking a deep breath and placing her hands on the steering wheel. After a moment, she turned to Bella. She opened and shut her mouth several times as if trying to determine exactly what she wanted to say.

Bella furrowed her brow and waited. Finally, Rosalie found her voice.

"Bella, I can't believe you."

"What do you mean?" Bella asked, raising one eyebrow.

Rosalie shook her head. "I can't believe you just left."

Bella felt her hackles rising. "What the hell was I supposed to do, Rose?" She practically shouted in the small confines of the car.

Rosalie's voice matched Bella's. "You should have stayed there and fought for your man!"

"What do you mean fought for him? He's having a baby with her. I can't compete with that." Bella asked.

Rosalie raised her eyebrows. "So it's not about sparing Edward from choosing then, is it?"

It was Bella's turn to open her mouth in mute surprise. After a moment, she sighed. "I don't know what else I could have done." Her voice was sad, and she sank back down in her seat, dropping her eyes to the floor.

Rosalie reached out and stroked Bella's hair. "Oh, sis. There's so much more you could have done. Do you love him?"

Bella's head snapped up. "Of course I do! How could you even ask that?"

"Because if you did, you would have stayed," Rosalie said simply.

Bella felt the sting of Rosalie's words. Her head was spinning. She had expected nothing but support from her older sister.

Rosalie sighed and turned to look at her sister again. "Bella, I'm not sure how to say this to you, and I know it's going to hurt. But I think you really need to hear it." She paused, obviously waiting for a response from Bella.

Bella sighed and nodded. "Go ahead. Say what you need to say." She tucked her knees beneath her chin as she had on the plane and silently wished for a cigarette, knowing that was out of the question. Rosalie barely tolerated Bella smoking in her presence, let alone inside her car.

Even after Bella acquiesced to hear what Rosalie had to say, it was still several moments before the older sister spoke. Finally, she sighed again and began. "You've never fought hard for anything your whole life. Things have always come pretty easily for you, and you've never had to. But you've never seemed particularly happy either. You've sort of just always...gotten by." She paused to glance almost apologetically at Bella. When Bella made no attempt to argue, she continued. "I mean, take James for example. Anyone who spent even a minute with you two could tell that you weren't happy. I don't know if he necessarily mistreated you, but everybody knew you could do much better. But you stayed with him for so long. I mean, why?" She paused and shook her head, and Bella could tell she was growing frustrated with the subject of James. Still, Bella remained silent. Rosalie hadn't really said anything that Bella herself didn't know.

After a moment, Rosalie continued, her voice softer now. "But then, you met Edward. Whether you realize it or not, he was the catalyst that you needed to propel you forward and get you to see James wasn't good for you. When you met him I saw such a change in you. It was like he made you a better version of yourself. Does that make sense?"

Bella nodded. Although she hadn't thought about it in quite that way, it made sense. Edward made her happier than she'd ever been.

"You left James, and even though you weren't with Edward, you made changes for yourself that improved your life. At the time, I wasn't aware that it was Edward's influence that was responsible for these changes, but now I can see that it was him all along. And I didn't know Edward before he met you, but I'd be willing to bet that you had the same positive influence on him, would you agree?"

Bella thought for a moment. "Yes, I think so." She let out a deep sigh and scrubbed her hand over her face in frustration. "Okay. Great. Everything you say is true. So what?" Bella cried, throwing her hands up in the air. "What am I supposed to do about it now? He's having a baby with her. I can't interfere with that!"

"Who says you have to?" Rosalie shot back immediately. "Do you realize how many people in the world have children with people they are not romantically involved with? It happens. You're not the first, and you sure as hell won't be the last!"

The passion in Rosalie's voice surprised Bella. "So," she asked tentatively, a pit of dread building in her stomach. "You think I made a mistake?"

Rosalie smiled a sad smile. "Yes, my dear. I think you made a huge mistake. I don't know Tanya, but I know James, and I have a feeling manipulation runs in their family."

Tears filled Bella's eyes as her sister's words continued to sink in. "I really thought I was leaving for him, Rose."

Rosalie opened her arms and the two sisters entered an awkward embrace in the confines of the car. "I know you did, honey. I know you did." She stroked Bella's hair as Bella stained her shirt with the tears that would no longer be contained.

"What do I do? I've messed everything up now."

Rosalie sighed. "I don't have an answer for you. I wish I did. Have you talked to him?"

Bella nodded into Rosalie's shoulder. "He begged me not to go, but I left anyway."

Rosalie sighed and patted Bella's shoulder. "Come on. There's no use sitting in the car crying about it all night."

Bella smiled through her tears. Her sister was nothing if not practical. The two headed inside. Emmett was already asleep, and the two agreed to continue their conversation in the morning.

As Bella made her way silently to the guest room, her heart and her head ached. Fully clothed, she made her way to the bed and slipped between the sheets without even turning on a light. Her limbs felt as heavy as her heart, and she was suddenly overcome by exhaustion.

However, as she lay in the cool, dark room, sleep did not immediately overtake her as she had hoped it would. Instead, Rosalie's words ran on an endless loop through her mind. Was it possible that her sister was right? Her sister knew her better than anyone else in the world. When she had left Chicago she had been so sure of her choice. As much as her heart had broken, she had been positive that she was doing the right thing for Edward. Now, as she replayed her conversation with Rose in her head again and again, her mind was flooded with doubt.

The darkness outside her window had already begun to fade into the pale light of early morning before Bella finally fell into a fitful sleep. As she drifted in and out of consciousness, she came to a disturbing realization: she should never have left Chicago. She had been immature and impetuous. Not surprisingly, this realization did not bring her the comfort or the relief she sought. Instead, as the sky outside turned from gray to pink, and finally a brilliant fiery orange, Bella rose from her bed.

Once fully awake she wasn't sure what to do next. Her hands itched to dial Edward's number, but her own self doubt stopped her. Hadn't he begged her to stay? Hadn't she insulted him with her self righteous claims of leaving him for his own good? How could she call him now and admit that she had seen the error in her thinking? She couldn't.

Instead, she decided to take a hot shower. She stripped off her clothing and climbed under the hot spray. The warm rivulets of water ran down her body and began to relax her muscles. The shower reminded her of the last shower she'd taken back in Chicago; the one in the new bathroom she would have shared with Edward. Things had been so perfect. How could they have gone so wrong so quickly? How had she let that happen? What could she do about it now?

The questions swirled around her as endlessly as the steam from the shower, and by the time she had wrapped herself in her bathrobe and made her way to the kitchen, she still had no answers.

Emmett was sitting at the kitchen table, eyes trained on the laptop in front of him, a mug of coffee in his hand. As Bella entered the room, he glanced up at her. If he was surprised to see her, he gave no indication of it. Bella figured Rosalie must have filled him in on Bella's sudden reappearance.

"Hey, sis," he said simply.

"Hi, Emmett," Bella replied quietly as she poured herself a bowl of cereal and took a seat across from him at the table.

After a few more moments of silence, Bella sighed and said, "So, aren't you going to let me have it? Tell me how stupid I was for leaving him? Tell me how I should have just sucked it up and stayed?"

Emmett looked up from his computer again. His face was impassive as he regarded Bella silently for a few moments. Finally he asked, "Is that what Rosalie told you?"

Bella nodded.

He shrugged. "Well, it sounds like she already covered everything, so I don't think you need to hear it all again from me."

Bella rolled her eyes but silently appreciated Emmett's unwillingness to rehash what she clearly already realized.

The pair lapsed into silence again. The only sound for several minutes was the quiet clicking of Emmett's mouse and the occasional scraping of Bella's spoon against the side of her cereal bowl.

"So what do I do now, Em?" Bella asked after a moment, her eyes still fixed on the table.

Emmett looked up from his computer and sighed as he gazed at his sister-in-law. He shrugged. "I wish I could tell you that, Bell. I would say you need to do some serious thinking and figure out exactly what you want, and exactly how you are going to make things happen."

"I can't call him," Bella said quietly, still refusing to look away from the smooth wood grain of the table. "I was so sure I was right. How can I tell him how very wrong I was?"

"Only you can answer that."

Silence fell over them again, and Bella finished her cereal and rinsed the bowl out in the sink before returning to her room. She intended to attempt to sleep again, but just as she was preparing to lie down, she heard the familiar buzz of her phone.

Her heart leapt into her throat as she frantically searched her belongings, desperate to remember where she had left it. Finally, she retrieved it and had to consciously work to control the shaking in her hands when she saw who it was.

"Hello." She tried to keep her voice even, but was fairly sure she failed and that he heard the nervous tremor anyway.

"Bella," Edward said simply.

"Hi, Edward." Bella's voice was not much more than a whisper, and when he was silent for a moment she was afraid he had been unable to hear her. She had just opened her mouth to speak again when he finally answered.

"How are you?" he asked.

Her heart fell when she detected the frosty tenor of his tone.

"I'm doing ok. I'm at Rosalie's."

"Oh, good. I'm glad you made it back okay," he said politely.

She closed her eyes as her hopes plummeted. "Yes," she answered lamely, completely unsure of what she should say. There were a million thoughts screaming in her head at the moment, but she didn't seem to be able to turn any of them into words.

"Well, I'm sorry to bother you, I just had a quick question for you," Edward said. "I spoke with Tanya last night."

Bella's heart skipped a beat. Before she could form a response, Edward continued. "She mentioned leaving some photos of her ultrasound with you, but I didn't see them anywhere in the apartment. Do you know where they are?"

Bella furrowed her brow, trying to think back to the blur of horrible moments that made up the visit from Tanya. She remembered seeing the envelope, but she was fairly sure Tanya had not left anything with her.

"I'm sorry. I don't think she left anything with me. She had an envelope with her, but didn't leave it."

Edward was silent for a moment. Finally, he said, "Okay, I'm sure she just forgot that she took them back with her. Thanks anyway."

"You're welcome."

The little voice inside her head was screaming at her not to let the conversation come to an end without saying something to him. Desperate, she searched her brain for what to say, where to begin.

"Edward?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"I...I love you," she blurted.

Edward was silent for a moment. Then he sighed heavily. "Don't do that." His voice was tight and angry, and Bella immediately regretted her words. They were true. They would always be true, but she somehow knew that she'd lost the right to say them to him. "You made your choice, Bella. It's not fair to keep reminding me."

With that, the line went dead. Stunned, Bella sat on the bed, staring mutely at the phone she still clutched in her hand. She had thought she had felt the loss of hope before, but as she curled up in a ball in the middle of the tangled bed covers, she felt that for the first time in her life, she knew what it was to feel truly hopeless.


	30. Chapter 29: Suspicions & Intuitions

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 29: Suspicions and Intuitions

Edward sat in the dark on-call room, eyes closed but completely awake. After he'd left Alice's house, he hadn't been able to bring himself to go home. Not without her. Alice had begged him to stay, but he'd felt too restless to settle down anywhere. He'd driven around for a couple of hours, and finally ended up at the hospital. He wasn't scheduled to work until the next night, but the hospital was always a good place to hide out. Luckily, the emergency room was fairly busy, and the on-call room had remained deserted all night.

He watched dawn break outside the tiny window but still he sat, unable to think of a reason to get up or somewhere to go if he did. The thought of returning to the empty apartment was unbearable. He knew he couldn't handle going there and seeing the things he had picked out with her in mind.

As he sat in the mind-numbing silence, the realization that had begun to form at Alice's house strengthened into resolve. He couldn't allow this girl to keep hurting him. As much as he loved her, as much as he wanted her to be his whole life, as ready as he was to give her everything, she wasn't ready to give him her life in return. She didn't trust him. He couldn't change the past. He couldn't undo what had happened with Tanya. He couldn't change the fact that he would soon have a baby with Tanya, and that event would tie him to her in a very real way. But he could do everything in his power to make Bella a priority. As far as he was concerned, he'd told her that and shown her this countless times. He knew he could make it work, but none of that mattered if she didn't believe him.

He'd thought a lot about it, and he was convinced that Bella's claim of leaving him for his own good was her way of shielding herself. It was an excuse. It was Edward's turn to shield himself.

When one of his colleagues burst into the room, Edward decided it was time to go.

"Oh, Dr. Cullen. I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were on call," she'd said, clearly surprised to see him.

"I'm not," he'd said, rising from the small cot and gathering his things. "I just...I was just leaving," he said, stumbling over his words as he made his way out of the room and down the hall.

Outside, the day was bright and clear, a stark juxtaposition to Edward's mood. He had no idea if Bella had landed safely since his phone was lying in pieces on the floor of their apartment. He climbed into his car and drove to the cell phone store. He told himself that he needed a working phone anyway, but if he was being honest, he was in a hurry to replace it so that he could call her.

New phone in hand, he dialed her number. As it rang, a new thought occurred to him. What if she didn't want to talk to him? She hadn't called him when she'd landed. Or at least she hadn't left him any voicemails. He'd been checking those from the hospital. When she answered, his misgivings melted away, and the relief he felt in hearing her voice again was strong.

Through the phone, she sounded small, and her voice trembled slightly. The sound of it caused his heart to clench painfully. He wanted to break down and beg her to come back but he resisted the urge. After a moment though, he felt his resolve begin to crumble. He paused in order to steel himself. "How are you?" he finally asked when he was sure his tone was cool enough.

"I'm doing ok. I'm at Rosalie's," Bella said.

Edward's heart ached at the thought of her being so far away. But he set his jaw and fought the urge to yell at her and demand that she get on a plane to Chicago immediately. Instead he said, "Oh, good. I'm glad you made it back okay."

He knew he was in dangerous territory and decided to move on. "Well, I'm sorry to bother you. I just had a quick question for you. I spoke with Tanya last night. She mentioned leaving some photos of the ultrasound with you, but I didn't see them anywhere at the apartment. Do you know where they are?" He'd stormed out of the apartment pretty quickly the night before, but he was fairly sure he'd have noticed an envelope of photos amongst the sparse furnishings of the apartment.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I don't think she left anything with me. She had an envelope with her, but didn't leave it," Bella answered.

Edward frowned and thought for a moment. Then he said, "Okay, I'm sure she just forgot that she took them back with her. Thanks anyway."

"You're welcome," she answered, and then there was a pause. "Edward?" Bella said again, a note of panic clear in her voice.

"Yes?" he answered.

"I...I love you," she said, her words rushed.

Edward's heart clenched painfully. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her. He wanted to feel her in his arms and never let her go. But he couldn't. She had left. She'd made the decision to go and left him to deal with the consequences, and the more her words sunk in, the angrier he became.

"Don't do that. You made your choice, Bella. It's not fair to keep reminding me." He knew his words were harsh, and he pictured her flinching as they hit her. For a moment, he was overwhelmed by the desire to apologize and beg her one more time to come back to him. Panic stricken, and afraid to lose the resolve he'd worked so hard to build, he quickly disconnected the phone.

Horrified by what he'd done, he nearly called her right back. But something stopped him. Instead, to distract himself, he decided to get to the bottom of the missing ultrasound pictures. He really was excited to be a father, despite all of the other distractions that seemed to be keeping him occupied.

As much as he didn't want to, he knew he'd have to return to the apartment eventually, so he headed there to search for the pictures Tanya had dropped off. He held his breath as he walked through the door. It wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. Bella hadn't actually been there long enough to leave many traces of herself behind. Although he still hadn't found the pictures, he was feeling pretty good about his ability to handle being in the apartment when he pushed open the bedroom door.

He stopped short, his hand still resting on the cold, metal doorknob. He felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him, except it hadn't been, because he could still breathe. That was part of the problem. He couldn't help but breathe her in. Her scent was everywhere. It overpowered him, and he slumped against the door, feeling the texture of the wood grain against his cheek as he tried to reign in his emotions. He looked at the bed—its sheets still tangled from the day before—and let out a strangled moan. He had to get out of there. He scanned the room quickly for anything that looked like it could be the missing photos. Seeing nothing, he quickly pulled the door shut behind him, pausing to take some much needed deep, calming breaths in the hallway.

In the relative safety of the living room, he pulled his phone out and dialed.

"Tanya, it's Edward. Sorry to bother you at work, but I wanted to ask you something. Bella said you didn't leave the pictures, and I can't find them anywhere in the apartment. You must have them. Can I come by and pick them up? I'd really like to see them."

There was silence for a moment. "You know what? I left them at home. I'm so sorry. I'll bring them by after work this evening," Tanya said.

Edward sighed, "Fine. I'll be at the hospital tonight," he said. Then he thought of something else. "Listen, why didn't you call me back the other day? I would have gone to the appointment with you."

Tanya sighed. "Oh, Edward, I don't know. I was just annoyed with how reluctant you were to change you plans in order to go."

"Look, I'm not going to pretend that this whole situation is a dream, but I'm committed to you and this baby. I'm here for you. When is your next appointment?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. I'll have to check my calendar and let you know," she answered.

"Please make sure that you do. I'd like to go with you," Edward said. He paused for a moment and then added, "Also, who did you say your doctor is again? I must have heard you wrong before."

"Dr. Green," Tanya answered. Something in her voice changed, but Edward couldn't put his finger on what it was.

"Are you sure? That's what I thought you said, but when I looked him up, I couldn't find any obstetricians by that name."

"Of course I'm sure," Tanya snapped. "I think I'd know my own obstetrician's name."

Before Edward could respond, Tanya continued. "Look, I have to go. I'm at work." With that, she hung up.

Edward sat on the couch for a moment, confused. Something wasn't sitting right. Something he couldn't identify began to form in his stomach. He needed to get to the bottom of this doctor thing. Maybe Eric had gotten the information wrong. Unwilling to entrust the task to anyone else again, he decided to head back to the hospital early to look for Dr. Green again before his shift. He wasn't anxious to spend any more time in this apartment anyway.

He showered quickly. The effort to keep his mind numb and not think about the shower's last occupant was huge. Then, steeling his resolve, he headed into the bedroom again. He held his breath the entire time and only stayed long enough to grab all of his possessions from the room. He would stay in this apartment, mainly because he'd given up his other place and had no where else to go, but he wouldn't spend any time in that room. He dropped his things in a pile on the floor of the empty guest room. He'd get some blankets from the hospital and sleep on the floor or on the couch, but he resolved not to set foot in the master bedroom again.

A short time later, he locked the front door and sagged against, relieved to be leaving. Staying in an apartment that had been picked out and filled with her in mind was going to be more difficult than he thought.

Once at the hospital, he pushed thoughts of Bella out of his head as he logged into the hospital's physician database. It didn't take him long to come to the same conclusion that Eric had reached. There were several Dr. Greens, but none were obstetricians. Not even close. There was one neurologist, two general practitioners, and a pediatrician. To be safe, he picked up the phone and called the general practitioners. After identifying himself, both offices confirmed that they did not have Tanya as a patient.

The feeling that had taken root during his last conversation with Tanya began to grow. Something wasn't adding up, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Was Tanya lying about her doctor? If so, why?

Before he had time to think much more about it, his shift began. The emergency room was especially busy that evening, and before he knew it, his shift was finished and he was walking to his car. As he walked, he began to think about the situation with Tanya again. He stopped short as he realized Tanya had never brought the photographs like she'd promised. He'd been so busy treating patients, he hadn't noticed before that moment.

Irritated, he cursed under his breath and checked his watch, deciding it wasn't too late to call her. He lit a cigarette as he listened to the phone ring and felt his irritation growing. What the hell was going on? He felt like he was missing something, like he was trying to put together a puzzle without all of the pieces, or while blindfolded. Once again, he felt like he couldn't put his finger on exactly what he was feeling, but there was a definite pit of unease in his stomach.

The phone continued to ring until he was met with Tanya's voicemail. Too aggravated to leave a message, he disconnected the phone and climbed into his car.

The drive was one he knew well. After all, it used to be his daily commute. There were no lights on in the house as he pulled into the driveway. He knocked on the door and waited. He was considering using the key he still had when he heard the lock turn and the door opened a crack.

Tanya stood blinking in the dim light. She was wearing pajamas, and it was obvious from her hair that she'd been asleep.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" she asked, yawning, her voice full of sleep.

Edward's irritation flared again. "You know, I can't be the only one trying here," he said, shifting his weight back and forth as he stood impatiently on the porch.

Tanya knit her brows together in confusion.

Edward sighed, "The pictures. You were supposed to bring the pictures to me tonight."

Realization dawned. "Oh, I'm sorry, I was so tired. I came straight home and fell asleep. I'm sorry."

Edward felt a twinge of guilt. Of course she was tired. She was pregnant. Then he remembered the doctor.

"Look, can I come in? I'd like to see the pictures and talk to you about a couple of things," he asked, stepping forward slightly.

She made no move to allow him in, and Edward thought he detected something in her eyes for a split second. What was it? Panic maybe? He wasn't sure. It was gone before he could be sure that he'd actually even seen it.

"Edward, I'm tired. I've got to work tomorrow. Can't it wait?" Tanya sighed.

Edward wavered. The last thing he wanted to do was put undue stress on the woman who was carrying his baby. But he felt a twinge from somewhere deep inside. It was the same strange, unidentifiable feeling he'd had earlier. He had to investigate what it was that was triggering this unease.

"Let me in please," he said maneuvering around her and through the door.

Once inside, he suddenly wasn't sure what to do next. What could he say to her? How could he articulate the feeling of disquiet that was plaguing him? He paced the room for a moment while Tanya watched him from near the door.

"I tried looking for your doctor again today," he said finally.

Tanya sighed. "Why? Why do you care?"

He stopped pacing and looked at her. "What do you mean why do I care? This is my baby. Of course I care!" The feeling that had been nagging him all day surged and he tugged on his hair in frustration. "What the hell is going on, Tanya?" he cried.

"Nothing is going on. I don't know why you can't find my doctor!" Tanya answered, throwing her hands in the air.

Edward shook his head, refusing to be derailed again. "Something is going on. You're not being honest with me. You don't call me back, you sent me on a wild goose chase for the ultrasound pictures, and now I can't even get a straight answer about your doctor, it's like—" he stopped mid-sentence as it all came crashing down on him like a ton of bricks. It was like the piece of the puzzle that had been eluding him for weeks just snapped into place, and he could finally see the whole picture.

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words would come. He stood there staring at her, his eyes wide in mute horror. The fleeting panic he'd thought he'd seen earlier returned to Tanya's face in full force as she stared back at him.

Finally, slowly, desperately, he found his voice. "There's no baby," he said almost to himself. As he said the words, the truth of them rang in his ears. "There's no baby," he repeated.

It was as if the events of the past few weeks were racing through his head on super speed. So many things he'd overlooked; so many little things that didn't add up. He'd ignored the hundred little oddities in Tanya's story. He realized suddenly that the little tug that he'd felt so insistently in his gut earlier that day had been there all along. But he'd pushed it aside and shoved it down into oblivion. Why? The answer was suddenly crystal clear: guilt. When it came to Tanya, he was weighed down with an all-consuming, mind numbing guilt. He felt guilty for proposing to her when he really didn't want to marry her. He felt guilty for leaving her at the alter. He felt guilty for having a one night stand with her. He felt guilty for getting her pregnant. He felt guilty for not being at her beck and call at all hours. He felt guilty for falling in love with Bella. It was an endless tide of guilt that constantly threatened to knock him over and pull him under.

He looked over at Tanya. Her eyes were wide, and she was shaking her head back and forth, a look of pure terror on her face.

"What are you talking about, Edward?" she asked, moving her hand to her stomach. "Of course there's a baby. Our baby." But her voice shook, and Edward knew she was lying.

He shook his head. "Stop it Tanya. It's over. I'm done." The anger in his voice was unmistakable. "I just..." he faded off, so overwhelmed by the new revelations that were flooding him. "Just...why?" he asked, his voice low, and his hands spread in front of him.

Her expression hardened, and when she spoke her voice matched. "Because we belong together," she hissed.

The panic in her eyes was gone, replaced by something that made Edward take a step back. It was an emotion Edward could only describe as fervor. Before he could react, Tanya continued.

"We belong together, Edward. Everything was fine until she came along. She ruined everything. We would have been married by now, and I would be having your baby if it weren't for her!" There were tears streaming down her cheeks and she took several steps toward him, arms extended. "We belong together! Can't you see that?"

Appalled, Edward stepped back. "What the hell are you talking about?" He couldn't believe he'd been so blind. She continued to move forward, and unable to avoid her, he grabbed her shoulders instead. "Tanya, this is insane. Are you crazy? You lied to me! You created a fake pregnancy! What the hell were you thinking?" The more he thought about it, the angrier he got, and he shook her shoulders slightly as he spoke.

At his touch, her expression changed and she crumpled beneath his hands. She sagged forward, and Edward had no choice but to support her weight as she leaned against him. "I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry." Sobs wracked her body as she choked on her words. "I just didn't know what to do. I don't want to lose you. Please, we belong together. Don't leave me." She slid her arms around his waist and clung to him.

Edward sighed, his anger receding slightly as it always did in the face of her tears. "I just don't understand what you were thinking. I mean, what were you going to do in nine months when there was no baby?"

Tanya sniffed and looked at the floor. "I figured by that time we'd be back together and there would be a baby." She paused and looked up at him, eyes and cheeks shining with tears. "We could still be together. It's not too late for us. Bella's gone now. Then there really could be a baby soon." Her voice was pleading.

Edward's expression darkened and his jaw clenched at the reminder of Bella's departure. He shook his head. "I can't believe you," he said in disgust. He let go of her shoulders and moved to the couch.

As he sat down, another thought occurred to him. "What really happened that night? The night you supposedly got pregnant." Resentment seeped into his voice, but he made no attempt to hide it.

Defeated, Tanya sat down heavily opposite him on the couch. "Nothing," she muttered. Her voice was filled with regret, but Edward wasn't sure exactly what it was she regretted.

"What do you mean? Tell me exactly," he demanded.

Tanya sighed and scrubbed her face with her hands. "Nothing happened. We did meet at the bar. You were really drunk, and you did come home with me. But once we got here, nothing happened."

"We didn't sleep together?" Edward asked, afraid to believe what he was hearing.

Tanya shook her head sullenly. "No. You just kept whining about her." It was hard to mistake the jealous and resentful tone in her voice. "About how she was gone and you'd never get her back."

Bella. He'd spend his night with Tanya talking about Bella.

"But we didn't sleep together?" Edward repeated. He wanted to be sure.

"No," Tanya answered sourly.

Edward couldn't hide his sigh of relief. He grinned as he stood. "Thank you, Tanya. Thank you!"

She stood too, and without thinking, he hugged her.

"I need to go," he said, moving towards the door.

Tanya walked him to the door. As he stepped through, she called his name. He turned back to her, distracted. "Yes?"

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," she said unable to meet his eyes.

"I know, Tanya," he said simply.

"Can you forgive me?" she asked, eyes on the ground.

"No, Tanya. I don't think so." Without another word, he climbed into his car and drove away, knowing he'd never return.


	31. Chapter 30: Elevators & Ice Cubes

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 30: Elevators and Ice Cubes

Bella's foot slid back and forth in a nervous pattern as she waited, eyes closed, lost in her own thoughts and fears. The chime signaling the elevator's arrival, and the hum of the doors sliding open brought her back to the present. A woman standing at the back of the elevator car smiled at her. If the woman hadn't been there, Bella felt sure she would have turned around and fled. But as it was, Bella smiled back hesitantly and stepped onto the elevator.

The doors closed, and Bella fought down the panic that suddenly threatened to engulf her. She was trapped. There was nowhere to go but toward her destination. She worked to slow her breathing and focused her attention on the abstract pattern in the elevator carpet. While the pattern was a little busy, a jumble of circles and squares, the colors were somehow calming, so she focused on them as her eyes traced the lines.

She couldn't completely block out the doubt that flooded her mind, however. Why was she there? How had she let Rosalie convince her that this was a good idea? So many things could go wrong, and then where would she be?

She was moments away from pushing the stop button on the elevator, regardless of the other woman's presence, when the elevator dinged, signaling their arrival at her floor. The doors slid open and alarm swelled in her chest again. Her legs seemed to be frozen in place, and she glanced apologetically at the woman who smiled kindly and said nothing.

With every ounce of will power she had, Bella forced her legs to work and took two steps off the elevator. She heard the doors slide closed behind her, and she was alone again. Terror continued to grip her, and she was once more immobile. Could she wait until the elevator stopped on that floor again and make it back down to the ground floor?

As she was weighing the possibilities of this option, Rosalie's words sounded suddenly and loudly in her head. They were so crystal clear that Bella actually looked around to see if somehow her sister was magically standing beside her. She wasn't, but the effect of her words was enough to propel Bella's legs forward once more.

She'd only set foot in this hallway two other times before, but her feet knew the way. This hallway, this building, this city even, had haunted her dreams for the past two months. It wasn't long before she was standing in front of the door. It was a nondescript door; identical to countless others she had passed on her way down the hall. But this door was different. Behind this door was her future, for better or for worse.

Taking a deep breath, she knocked. Her hand shook, and as her knuckles came in contact with the smooth surface of the wood, she wished she'd stayed outside a little longer and smoked a few more cigarettes.

But it was too late. She realized as she waited that she didn't even know for sure if he still lived there. Before she had too much time to process what it would mean if he didn't, she heard movement behind the door.

Her breath caught as the door swung open. It was him. Even though she'd expected to see him, she was pretty sure the shock on his face was mirrored in her own. It couldn't have been more than a split second that they stood that way; both motionless, not breathing, taking the sight of the other one in; but it felt like hours.

He was the first to speak. "Bella," he breathed.

The sound of his voice, the sound of her name caused something familiar and deep within her to stir.

Her smile was hesitant and small as she answered, "Edward."

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his eyes searching her face.

Her heart sunk at the tone of his voice. She should not have come. Clearly, it was a mistake.

"I just...I thought..." She stumbled over her words as she felt her face grow hot with embarrassment.

"Come in," Edward interrupted her attempts to explain herself.

She stood for a moment longer. She wanted to turn around and run back down the hallway to the elevator and back to the airport. How had she let Rose convince her that this was a good idea? She chided herself internally at her thoughts. It wasn't fair to blame Rose for this one. She'd wanted to see him; wanted to know if there was still a chance for them. Well, it seemed that now she knew.

Edward seemed to sense her wavering as she shifted from one foot to the other on his doorstep. "Please," he added.

Bella sighed and nodded, stepping through the doorway. Once inside, her eyes widened as she cast them around the room. The place was completely changed from the last time she'd been there. As she looked a little closer, she realized it wasn't completely changed. The couch and the few furnishings that Edward had bought when they'd first moved in were still there. However, there was so much more. The room was filled with overstuffed chairs that matched the couch. Lush rugs covered the wooden floor she had fallen in love with, and plush throw pillows filled the couches and chairs. There were beautiful paintings covering the walls, and a warm fire crackled in the fireplace that stood against the far wall.

"Wow," she said as she moved a little further into the room. "The place looks great."

A strange look crossed Edward's face, but was gone before Bella could examine it further. He nodded. "Well, I can't take all the credit. This place definitely needed a woman's touch."

Tanya. Bella's heart seemed to break a little further as she realized that this was just one more piece of evidence supporting the fact that Edward had moved on. Of course he'd gone back to Tanya. Why wouldn't he? They were having a child together, and once Bella had been out of the picture, there'd been nothing stopping them. The thought of the two of them decorating the apartment that was supposed to be hers was almost more than she could bear. The fact that they'd chosen the exact décor that she would have chosen if this had still been her home made the sting that much more painful.

"Please sit down," he said, motioning her to the plush sofa. "Can I get you something to drink?" His voice was polite but strained, and Bella made a silent promise to herself to get out of there as soon as possible.

"Sure. Whatever you have is fine," she said.

He disappeared into the kitchen, and Bella closed her eyes to stop the tears that were threatening to spill. She took a deep breath and began to reason with herself. Even if her primary question had already been answered, she still owed him this visit. She still owed it to him to apologize for her behavior before.

Edward returned a few minutes later and handed Bella a tall glass of ice water. "I'm sorry. I'm a little low on beverages right now. I hope water is okay."

"Water is fine. Thank you," Bella said, accepting the glass and taking a delicate sip. He sat down next to her, and the ice in her glass clinked together as Bella's hand shook.

"So, what are you doing here, Bella?" he asked quietly, repeating his question from before.

Bella sighed and took a deep breath. This was it. She'd get no more time to pretend that she wasn't about to say the hardest words of her life. No more time for small talk. No more time to pretend that it was still a possibility that he could be hers. Her time with him was limited. She doubted that after she said her piece and apologized, he'd be anxious to have her hang around. Plus, she didn't want to be there when Tanya came home.

"I came to apologize." Her voice shook a little, and she picked up her glass and took a large gulp before she remembered that it was just water and would offer her no liquid courage.

Edward raised his eyebrows slightly, but said nothing as he waited for her to continue.

"It wasn't fair of me to take off on you before. I'm sorry," Bella finished, her eyes on the floor.

Edward was silent, but Bella could feel his gaze. After a few moments, he spoke. "So, you're sorry that you left, or you're sorry about how you left?"

Bella was confused for a moment by his question. "Well, both I guess." She paused again to think, and then continued. "I mean, I really took the cowardly way out. I see that now. I shouldn't have left before at least speaking with you about the whole Tanya situation. But overall, I'm just sorry I left." She stopped and returned her eyes to the floor, realizing how much it was costing her to be this vulnerable in front of him again, but knowing that she owed it to him.

Edward cleared his throat. "So, what have you been up to?" he asked.

Bella was surprised, and if she was honest with herself a little hurt by his response. Had she really hurt him so badly that she didn't even deserve an acknowledgement of her apology? "Well, I've been writing a lot, trying to make some extra money." She wanted to add that she'd been immersing herself in her writing in an attempt to forget him, but she didn't.

Edward nodded. "Are you back at your old apartment, or..." he faded off waiting for her to complete his question with her answer.

"Um, no. I'm staying with Rosalie and Emmett. They've been very kind to let me stay there until..." she paused. "Until I could get my own place again." It was a small lie, but she refused to admit that she was staying with her sister clinging to the hope that Edward would take her back; especially now, when it was so clear that he had no intention of doing so.

Edward nodded again in that same polite, maddening way. Part of her wished he wouldn't be so kind about everything. She wished he'd just yell at her and get it over with. At least if her last memory of him was an angry one, it might be easier for her to live with her pain. But she knew him better than that. Edward was kind to the core. It took a lot to stir him to anger. A lot of passion. Passion he clearly no longer had for her.

"So, how's everything at the hospital?" she asked, shoving her jumbled thoughts aside in an effort to make this visit slightly more bearable.

"Oh, busy as usual. You know how it goes," he answered.

Bella nodded, and because she was a glutton for punishment she added, "I'm sure it must be difficult trying to balance all of your work obligations with Tanya and the baby."

Edward said nothing and impossibly, Bella felt her heart break again. He clearly wasn't enjoying this conversation. He so obviously wished she'd leave.

She felt a abrupt, unexpected surge of some emotion she couldn't quite place. It wasn't quite anger, but it was similar. Suddenly, she knew he had to at least know. She had to at least tell him how she felt. The thought of returning to Phoenix without ever having told him was unbearable. She knew it was pointless, and the effort would be wasted on him, but she had to do it for herself. She'd spent so much time since she'd met him, especially these past two months, trying to be a better, stronger version of herself, as Rosalie said. She felt she owed at least this much to herself.

She took a deep breath and looked at him again. His eyes were glued to a spot on the wall across the room, but when she said his name, he brought his gaze to meet hers.

"I need to say some things to you. I need you to hear me out, okay?" she said, squaring her shoulders.

He nodded but said nothing, so she continued.

"I was wrong to leave. I said that already, but there's more. I was wrong to not be a stronger person for you. At the time, I really did believe that I was doing it for you, but I can see now that my reasoning and logic were faulty. I was being selfish and trying to protect myself. I didn't want to have to deal with Tanya. I wanted to be with you, but I wanted it to be on my terms, and that wasn't fair. I should have been willing to accept that there were things in your life that weren't perfect, and it shouldn't have mattered because you loved me."

The words were said in almost one breath. By the time she finished, she felt almost dizzy, but she wasn't sure if it was from the sudden rush of speech, or from her fear of his reaction to them. She took a deep breath and continued before she had the chance to lose her nerve, or he could interrupt her. "Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life. I regret it one hundred percent. I know it's not possible now, but I wish I could take it all back, and we could be together again." Her voice cracked at the end, and she swiped at the tears that had begun sliding down her cheeks as she spoke.

Edward continued to stare silently at her, and she couldn't help but feel that he was somehow taking stock of her, judging her to see if her words were sincere. After what felt like an eternity, he spoke. "Do you mean it, Bella?"

She nodded eagerly. If there was no hope, she at least wanted his last memory of her to be a sincere one. "Every word," she said. She bit her bottom lip to try and stop it from trembling, but it was no use. The last resolve she'd held against her emotions came crashing down, and she buried her head in her hands. "I was so stupid. I know its impossible now, but you need to know I still love you." With her face buried in her hands, her words were so muffled she doubted whether or not he could even understand her.

"Bella, please look at me," he said quietly. Unwillingly, she raised her head and met his gaze. His eyes were intense as he stared at her. "I love you too," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Keeping his gaze fixed steadily on her eyes, he began to move toward her, his eyes moving to her lips, his intention clear.

A strangled sob escaped her throat as déjà vu crashed over her. How had they ended up in this situation again? Once more, she was not his and he was not free. Once more, she found her heart and soul at war with her conscious.

At the sound of her cry, Edward pulled back, puzzled. "I thought this was what you wanted?"

Bella could barely find the words, her grief was so acute. It was one thing to come there and pour her heart out to him only to discover that she had missed her opportunity. It was quite another to realize he would so easily disregard the commitment he had made to another. "It is what I want, Edward. More than anything. But not like this."

"Like what?" Edward continued to look at her with that quizzical expression that she had always loved.

She shook her head. "I don't want to be the other woman. I don't want to do that to Tanya."

To Bella's horror, Edward grinned. "Is that what you're worried about?" he asked.

"Yes. Look, I made a mistake when I took off, and I'm just going to have to live with that mistake. I won't put anyone through that," Bella said indignantly, rising from the sofa. It was clearly time for her to leave.

"Bella wait," Edward said, rising to follow her.

Bella tried to see through the tears that continued to stream down her face as she hurried to the door. She reached the door, but he called out to stop her.

She spun around to face him. "Please don't ask me to do this, Edward. I love you. I'll probably always love you, but I can't do this. You're not free. You have to think of Tanya and the baby." Somehow this was worse than if her love had remained unrequited.

"I am free. There is no Tanya," Edward said, his voice cutting through her near hysterical sobs.

She stopped and looked at him blankly for a moment. "What do you mean there's no Tanya? What about the baby—"

"There is no baby. There's no Tanya and there's no baby," Edward said, cutting her off.

The words refused to register in her brain. No baby. No Tanya. What was he talking about?

Seeing her confusion, he continued. "Tanya made the whole thing up. She was never pregnant. We never slept together," he said quietly, the relief evident in his voice.

Bella continued to stare at him, mute and completely unable to process his words. "But what about—" she struggled to find the words as she sorted through this new information. "—the apartment. You said it had a woman's touch."

Edward grinned again. "Alice, Bella. Alice is the only woman who's stepped foot in this apartment since you left."


	32. Epilogue

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Epilogue

"Please." His voice was rough with emotion and, as usual, Bella felt his words tugging at her soul. He reached up and hooked her smallest finger with his, both of them smiling at the electricity that still ran rampant between the two of them, even after all this time. It was the first time he'd touched her in two months, and she closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of his skin on hers, even if it was just her finger. She felt her heart begin to race, and when she opened her eyes again, Edward was smiling at her as though he could hear it too.

"I am free," he repeated. "Don't go."

"I—" she began, but he cut her off, placing one of his glorious long fingers against her lips. There was so much that was familiar about this moment, and yet Edward couldn't help but smile at the thought of the newness of this situation.

Unable to restrain himself any longer, he found her lips with his own, kissing her deeply and delighting in the way she moaned softly against his mouth.

He pulled away and rested his head against her collar bone. "I've wanted to do that since the moment you showed up on my doorstep, Bella. Do you know how long I've been waiting for you?"

This time it was Bella who sought him, running her hands up his back and shoulders and into his hair, pulling his head up to find his lips with her own.

It was true that everything about this moment felt so familiar, but unlike the other time he'd begged her to stay, when they'd stood in the tiny basement room of the church, and he'd tried in vain to cling to what wasn't his to have, he knew that this time she was his and he was hers. Forever.


End file.
